# So I went to my first big "swinger's party"... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 4, 2016, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608 "2016-10-04T00:11:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2016, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/61 "2016-10-06T22:45:48Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Is anyone else having a hard time with this? ‘Conference center’ hotels are typically very large. The _entire hotel_ is rented? Meaning a) the organizers can afford this and b) the hotel is ok with turning down (or cancelling) regular business for this to happen. > > And the regular employees are wandering about the hot tub sex, the orgies, the couch-side blowjobs, the fantasy room with “all sorts of kinky sex equipment”? > > Housekeeper: “Y’all need more lube?” > mmm I was in a hurry when I posted earlier and I left out one other consideration. Say a family traveling from Des Moines wanders in looking for lodging. How is this handled? “Sorry, folks, we’re closed. Bathroom? Sure. Just turn left where you see the four women sucking on a 13-inch cock”. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2016, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/62 "2016-10-06T23:27:08Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I was in a hurry when I posted earlier and I left out one other consideration. > > Say a family traveling from Des Moines wanders in looking for lodging. How is this handled? > > “Sorry, folks, we’re closed. Bathroom? Sure. Just turn left where you see the four women sucking on a 13-inch cock”. > mmm I’m sure they’d just inform the customer that there were no reservations available for that night. Or that they were having a private party. This doesn’t seem like a wild idea to me, I’m sure hotels get rented out for all kinds of events. Just for an idea, there were about 600 people at this party, with the vast majority of them staying at the hotel. Also, it was $50 per couple to attend. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2016, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/63 "2016-10-06T23:30:05Z")
> [@Disposable Hero](#): > > I’m just wondering how extensively its all cleaned up afterwards. I would assume the hotel would be cleaned to the standards it’s normally cleaned to? Or are you asking about something else? ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2016, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/64 "2016-10-06T23:53:26Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > How many people were there, and how much did you pay to get in? It seems unlikely they could recoup the cost of renting an entire hotel for the night. Not just for one night, they’d be forced to turn away anyone who wanted to book consecutive nights either side of the shindig. And a 600 person orgy? Yeah, right. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2016, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/65 "2016-10-06T23:54:03Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I would assume the hotel would be cleaned to the standards it’s normally cleaned to? Or are you asking about something else? Jizz. Everywhere. Normal cleaning does not include washing the walls and shampooing the carpets, or even laundering the bedspreads. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2016, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/66 "2016-10-07T00:46:08Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > Jizz. Everywhere. Normal cleaning does not include washing the walls and shampooing the carpets, or even laundering the bedspreads. Not to mention the flood of lawsuits claiming sexual harassment and a hostile work environment. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2016, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/67 "2016-10-07T00:59:53Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I’m curious about the setting. This must have been a regular hotel, yes? One that hosts swingers parties? > > If not a ‘normal’ hotel, then what type of facility? > mmm Just search for “swingers’ convention” and you’ll find a number of references to hotels. A Holiday Inn on Long Island, Courtyard Marriott in Midland, TX, Radisson in Miami beach, etc. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2016, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/68 "2016-10-07T01:36:51Z")
Do swingers tip well? If so, and they aren’t propositioning the staff, I couldn’t imagine any kind of harassment lawsuit going on. I worked at a hotel when I was in college, in the banquet area and steakhouse, and while nothing like this ever took place there (that I know of 😛 ) there were a few occasions where a large convention, wedding, etc. ended up reserving the whole facility. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2016, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/69 "2016-10-07T01:39:32Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > Just search for “swingers’ convention” and you’ll find a number of references to hotels. > > A Holiday Inn on Long Island, Courtyard Marriott in Midland, TX, Radisson in Miami beach, etc. Googling “lifestyle hotel takeover” gave me a real education, too. It seems this happens a _lot_ across the US. 🆒 I do recall seeing, on more than one occasion in our travels over the years, small to medium hotels with signs on them saying “No vacancy, closed for private event”. And here I thought it was a wedding . . . ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2016, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/70 "2016-10-07T01:44:08Z")
Why in the world would it bother a hotel to be completely sold out? Sure, it means that they can’t rent to an individual traveler, but the reason for that is that they’re sold out! How is that a negative? ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2016, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/71 "2016-10-07T01:45:54Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > Jizz. Everywhere. Normal cleaning does not include washing the walls and shampooing the carpets, or even laundering the bedspreads. Again when I was in college, Guns N’Roses performed in that city, and we were kinda sorta relieved that they were not staying at our hotel. They ended up staying at another facility (surprisingly to us, it was a budget place - I found this out from someone who worked there) and a lot of people wondered if the place was going to be fumigated afterwards. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2016, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/72 "2016-10-07T01:57:17Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Why in the world would it bother a hotel to be completely sold out? Sure, it means that they can’t rent to an individual traveler, but the reason for that is that they’re sold out! How is that a negative? It just doesn’t add up. The participants pay 50 bucks a head (heh). Why would an ‘upscale’ hotel charge so little? I can’t imagine that a conference-center type (i.e., large) hotel would sell out to a group of swingers. Who is footing the bill for the drinks, the food (?), the sex-room equipment? That surely can’t be covered by the $50, along with a room. And who pays for the hazmat suits for the cleanup? I dunno. Maybe I need to get out more. 🙂 mmm ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2016, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/73 "2016-10-07T02:02:47Z")
Maybe people bring their own toys and other accessories, and meals and drinks, and lodging whether at that hotel or not, are on their own in addition to the $50 admission fee? I’m guessing that admission is to keep too-casual observers out. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2016, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/74 "2016-10-07T02:04:42Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > It just doesn’t add up. The participants pay 50 bucks a head (heh). Why would an ‘upscale’ hotel charge so little? I can’t imagine that a conference-center type (i.e., large) hotel would sell out to a group of swingers. > > Who is footing the bill for the drinks, the food (?), the sex-room equipment? That surely can’t be covered by the $50, along with a room. > > And who pays for the hazmat suits for the cleanup? > > I dunno. Maybe I need to get out more. 🙂 > mmm The fifty bucks is just for the party. Renting a room still costs the normal rates the hotel usually charges. Drinks are sold at the bar(s) but some of the rooms are usually booked by the event organizers that give away free (but usually weak) drinks. The mess left behind really isn’t all that different than any late night party that serves alcohol. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2016, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/75 "2016-10-07T02:08:59Z")
mmm, you just need to get out more. There were 600 people at the event. $50 per couple is $15,000, plus people who had rooms were paying for the rooms separately to the hotel. So the event coodinators had $15,000 to set up the equipment (which travels with them from event to event) and pay hotel rental and cleanup (I hope) fees. Hotel gets rental fees plus likely more rooms sold that night than normal, event coordinators make an income, and attendees get a safe environment to get their rocks off. Everybody wins. Well, except whoever’s doing cleanup. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2016, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/76 "2016-10-07T02:51:09Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Why in the world would it bother a hotel to be completely sold out? Sure, it means that they can’t rent to an individual traveler, but the reason for that is that they’re sold out! How is that a negative? The swingers don’t necessarily book all the rooms. But if there are rooms left over, the hotel probably doesn’t want to put anyone else in them. I wonder how far in advance you have to book an entire hotel. What if someone has planned their vacation nine months in advance and already has a confirmed reservation. Then SwingCon calls and wants the whole hotel for one of those nights. It sounds potentially lucrative for the hotel, but the customer whose reservation you’d have to cancel wouldn’t be too happy. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2016, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/77 "2016-10-07T03:15:34Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > The swingers don’t necessarily book all the rooms. But if there are rooms left over, the hotel probably doesn’t want to put anyone else in them. > > I wonder how far in advance you have to book an entire hotel. What if someone has planned their vacation nine months in advance and already has a confirmed reservation. Then SwingCon calls and wants the whole hotel for one of those nights. It sounds potentially lucrative for the hotel, but the customer whose reservation you’d have to cancel wouldn’t be too happy. Eh, not that bad. Hotels all have networks of affiliated hotels, some of which are incredibly close to each other. You call the customer, say there’s a problem with the booking and you’re terribly sorry but in compensation, customer can stay at Hotel B just down the road, and won’t customer please let them upgrade to a suite or a VIP plan for no extra charge as an apology? If they don’t take that (and most do) then you just keep upping the perceived value of the exchanged room or you move up the scale of the nearby affiliated hotels. One of the best weekends of my life was when we tried to stay at a dirtbag Marriot a block down from Dragoncon. Cheap motel-style place, old as dirt, at $105 a night - not the convention rate, just the actual cost of the rooms. Well. A local college bought the place over the summer and began remodeling it to use as a set of dorm housing. The Marriot network put us into the nearest property to the convention, in a swanky rich hotel with real marble floors and a rooftop heated saltwater Olympic-length pool, and a washer and dryer in our personal three-bedroom suite. For $105 a night. We asked on Tuesday when we checked out what that room would have cost us - it was a $450 a night room. We didn’t even ASK for it - they just moved us over and took the hit. So it can’t actually cost them that much to work out accommodations for non-event guests. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2016, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/78 "2016-10-07T03:45:22Z")
I’ve heard of conventions being planned, and the hotels booked, 2 or more years in advance. That’s not as hard to do if it’s a regular, as in annual or whatever, event. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2016, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/79 "2016-10-07T05:32:08Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > mmm, you just need to get out more. There were 600 people at the event. $50 per couple is $15,000, plus people who had rooms were paying for the rooms separately to the hotel. So the event coodinators had $15,000 to set up the equipment (which travels with them from event to event) and pay hotel rental and cleanup (I hope) fees. Hotel gets rental fees plus likely more rooms sold that night than normal, event coordinators make an income, and attendees get a safe environment to get their rocks off. Everybody wins. Well, except whoever’s doing cleanup. This is the answer. I’ve just recently started working as a front desk clerk at a chain average hotel, and no one cares a flying flip if Joe Blow (heh) called in and wanted to rent every room in the place on a Tuesday night four months from now, ostensibly for a wedding / frat party / funeral / whatever. As long as you have us a credit card to hold everything, it would be on like Donkey Kong. As to the cleaning? I’m assuming groups like that are aren’t exactly newbies to keeping damages to a minimum, so they probably strenuously discourage misuse and then possibly employ some of their own staff to prevent serious violations by cleaning before the rooms are returned to the hotel. Lastly, having just worked a shift where things were quieter than a church mouse, I can guarantee you that guests that wish to keep their activities secret from the hotel are a dime a dozen. So all manner of crazy behavior could be going on for everyone in the surrounding towns and yet no one in the hotel would be the wiser. Truly, the logistics even in small town BFD just ain’t that big a deal. If there’s money and discretion there, no one cares. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2016, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608/80 "2016-10-07T05:53:51Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > I would assume the hotel would be cleaned to the standards it’s normally cleaned to? Or are you asking about something else? > [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > Jizz. Everywhere. Normal cleaning does not include washing the walls and shampooing the carpets, or even laundering the bedspreads. What s/he said. And other bodily fluids. Sex has a very distinctive smell and I imagine it might be hard to get rid of for one thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-i-went-to-my-first-big-swingers-party/767608.md?page=5)