# So, if you could have a tail... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 29, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358 "2003-05-29T20:33:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![LorieSmurf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a587f6/32.png) [@LorieSmurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LorieSmurf)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/21 "2003-05-30T04:02:28Z")
If humans had tails, we’d have to have a device in cars to avoid closing the doors on 'em (Meowch!) Some kinda Automatic Tail Pull-Out-of-the-Wayer. ---
**Author:** ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/22 "2003-05-30T04:21:48Z")
I’d go for a whale-tail (actual size 😃 ). My second choice would be a scorpion tail…that would look too cool ---
**Author:** ![Rabid\_Squirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Rabid\_Squirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rabid_Squirrel)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/23 "2003-05-30T04:46:47Z")
Hehe, someone has inadequcy issues over their tail 😉 Personally I’ll favour something I could use to support my own weight. ---
**Author:** ![macabresoul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e68b1a/32.png) [@macabresoul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/macabresoul)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/24 "2003-05-30T05:28:59Z")
I want a rabbit tail. Just a furry lump on the crack of my ass… excuse me while I…excuse…my…self… k bye ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/25 "2003-05-30T05:32:14Z")
I’d HELLA want a monkey tail. I’ll take it slightly puffier and cuter though. Horse tails are pretty, but aren’t anywhere near as useful as a monkey’s tail. I want my monkey’s tail! ---
**Author:** ![crazycaleb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/73ab20/32.png) [@crazycaleb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazycaleb)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/26 "2003-05-30T06:05:23Z")
I’d want a lizard style tail, though I’m not sure if i’d actually want the scales or just flesh over it. But yeah, the kind where I could make it fall off if need be, and then grow it back. Maybe get some cool spikes pierced through it too, so it’d be kind of like a mace for me to whack people with 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![crazycaleb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/73ab20/32.png) [@crazycaleb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crazycaleb)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/27 "2003-05-30T06:07:03Z")
Oh, and as far as social mores… hm… Maybe we’d be required to have some kind of really big sock put over them in social situations? Especially if it was some kind of formal ball or something… and you could decorate the tail sock too, like put lace or bells or something on it. ---
**Author:** ![MustangSpirit\_WildnFree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@MustangSpirit\_WildnFree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MustangSpirit_WildnFree)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/28 "2003-05-30T06:13:05Z")
hmm I think caleb up there will agree that a red tail with a nice sharp point on the end might be more appropriate for me but… I think I would rather have tiGGer’s tail so I can bounce around allll day 🙂 T-i-double GERERRRR 🙂 (bouncing’s what tiggers do best) ---
**Author:** ![MustangSpirit\_WildnFree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ebca7d/32.png) [@MustangSpirit\_WildnFree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MustangSpirit_WildnFree)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/29 "2003-05-30T06:15:41Z")
and as for what will change in society…can you imagine how annoying it would be to have a tail cover to work in a resturaunt??? I mean those hair nets and beard guards are frustrating enough ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/30 "2003-05-30T06:18:06Z")
Mmmm… tail… -FK ---
**Author:** ![chattywine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5daacb/32.png) [@chattywine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chattywine)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/31 "2003-05-30T11:57:45Z")
OOOoooOOOOoo sign me up for the monkey tail! With the added attachments, I like that backscratcher idea 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/32 "2003-05-30T14:14:41Z")
Also, in terms of mores, I was thinking of…(okay, just need to accept this is going to sound weird)… I said earlier I’d like a cat-like tail. The same way we have current beliefs about “personal space” and “public displays of affection,” I wonder how having a fuzzy tail would fit into or change those ideas. Is this making any sense? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![OldBroad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@OldBroad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OldBroad)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/33 "2003-05-30T14:27:25Z")
I’ve always thought people should have tails! On the practical side, I like the idea of a kangaroo’s tail - being able to sit back on one’s tail would make waiting in lines much more comfortable, and you wouldn’t need as many chairs or bar stools. On the other hand, I love the expressiveness (if that’s a word) of the cat’s tail. Since this is a fantasy anyway, I’d like to have a tail that would serve as both purposes. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/34 "2003-05-30T14:36:20Z")
I want mine barbed. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/35 "2003-05-30T14:40:47Z")
Skunk. I’ve got…_plans_… ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/36 "2003-05-30T14:42:59Z")
[Or, maybe a glyptodont’s. Link.](http://arnica.csustan.edu/Boty1050/Evolution/glyptodont.JPG) ---
**Author:** ![if\_you\_don\_t\_know\_i\_won\_t\_tell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/fbc32d/32.png) [@if\_you\_don\_t\_know\_i\_won\_t\_tell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if_you_don_t_know_i_won_t_tell)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/37 "2003-05-30T15:18:34Z")
I also want a kitty tail. How great that would be, to swing my tail as I walk. Swoosh it in people’s faces if they irritate me. ---
**Author:** ![sycorob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@sycorob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sycorob)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/38 "2003-05-30T16:48:44Z")
I’d have to go with a monkey-like tail (buckling under peer pressure). In order for it to not look weird when naked, it’s have to have very little hair. In which case, wouldn’t it get cold in the winter? We’d have to have tail-coverings, like the gloves and hats we have now. Sitting down would be tough. At a club you could grope somebody behind you. I think it’d be cool. ---
**Author:** ![criminalcatalog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@criminalcatalog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/criminalcatalog)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/39 "2003-05-30T17:26:48Z")
Peacock’s tail. Easy to dazzle with. ---
**Author:** ![CadburyAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c2a13f/32.png) [@CadburyAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CadburyAngel)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/40 "2003-05-30T20:31:43Z")
I agree with the Nightcrawler-from-X-Men-tail people, that’s the first thing I thought of when I saw the thread title. But I probably would want it short enough that I could walk around without tripping on it and conceal it under long skirts. It wouldn’t have to do be able to comb my hair or anything, but catching stuff that my hands dropped would be good. It should be at least as strong as one of my arms or legs, so I can climb trees better. A blue tail like Nightcrawler’s would be good, but the rest of me isn’t blue, so maybe it could shade from very pale at the base of my spine to dark blue at the end. Or it could change colors with my mood! That’d be even better. I think my tail should also have a badass spike on the end, so people don’t mess with me. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358.md?page=3)