# So, if you could have a tail... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 29, 2003, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358 "2003-05-29T20:33:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/61 "2003-05-31T20:00:53Z")
I’d want a prehensile tail, but I’d want it forked halfway. That way I’d get a lot more balance out of it when used for utility functions. Having two tail-ends would be useful towards freeing myself if I was trapped. Each end could wrap around something so I could suspend myself in trees/ropes/etc. They would be able to assist in lifting/carring heavy objects by having my tail come out from between my legs (yeah the concept seems nasty) and use the tail-ends to wrap around/push up on the heavy object to help support it. It would make dressing/undressing quicker as it would be as if I had an extra pair of arms to put stuff on/hold it in place. I could use them to massage my shoulders or brush debris off my back. Having two tail ends would also be useful in restraining someone. ---
**Author:** ![Luna\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c57346/32.png) [@Luna\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Luna_Child)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2003, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/62 "2003-05-31T20:10:05Z")
I’d want a fox tail. It’d be fun. ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/63 "2003-06-01T04:31:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LolaCocaCola \* > \*\*Playboy bunny tail. > > That way I could powder my nose with my ass. > > 😉 \*\* That I would love to see! 😃 for me…prehensile would be cool, but since that’s been done to death. How 'bout a stegosaurus tail. I like shiskebabs, & if somebody fu\*\*s w/ me, I’d just stick it to 'em. ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/64 "2003-06-01T05:27:28Z")
Mine would definately be a kangaroo tail. But with a hand on the end, so I could grab stuff too. ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/65 "2003-06-01T13:13:37Z")
**roadkiller** you could be one helluva shoplifter if that tail came w/ the pouch too. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/66 "2003-06-01T20:41:25Z")
Humorist H. Allen Smith wrote an entire book devoted to the social effects when people suddeny start to be born with tails. **The Year of the Tail** is out of print, but well worth looking up. As for my preference, I’d of course want a prehensile tail, while noting tht a prehensile tail strong enough to be useful (i.e. – it could pick me up) would be a pretty thick and probably ungainly looking mass of bone and muscle. And I agree with Jack Chalker that Horse-like tails look very sexy on women. ---
**Author:** ![RahRahMah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/54ee81/32.png) [@RahRahMah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RahRahMah)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358/67 "2003-06-01T21:21:57Z")
I brought this up to a friend of mine once and she just looked at me weird and said that people with tails would be sick. Clearly the girl has no imagination. I would go with monkey tail with hand on it. It would be furry and PURPLE! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-if-you-could-have-a-tail/178358.md?page=3)