# So, I'm going to be an executor... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 29, 2014, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-going-to-be-an-executor/699875 "2014-09-29T16:40:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2014, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-going-to-be-an-executor/699875/21 "2014-09-29T22:44:49Z")
Cher, I am So Sorry!!! My brother was tasked with being Executor when my parents passed. My sisters went Bat-Shit Insane, and demanded Certified Accountings through independent Attorneys (that billed the estate) of all the assets. Fully 75% of what was intended was lost to fees and court costs due to the ignorant petty bitchiness of grieving sisters who could not be bothered to get over themselves. My brother was (And Is) a Great Guy. This crap cost him most of his siblings (not me) and their ignorant 24-hour-a-day-screaming-ignorant-sack-of-shit-calling to all the phone numbers he had cost him his marriage. Tell your parents you love them. Hug them. Cry on their shoulders thinking about the fact that someday you will lose them. But if you love your loved ones, your sanity, and not having gray hair… _ **JUST SAY NO!!!** _ ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2014, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-going-to-be-an-executor/699875/22 "2014-09-29T23:15:59Z")
> [@snowthx](#): > > I would then recommend you are clear about where their income is coming from. If from investments accounts, they can make them TOD (Transfer On Death) to whomever they wish. This means the remaining funds are distributed straight-away to their designee, and no probate. The TOD takes precedence over the will, IIRC. > > The Paid-for home will be part of their estate. I am not sure how that would be handled - when my dad died he was renting. I’ll let someone else comment on the real estate aspect of this. If the home is somehow in your name, then it can avoid probate. when you go to sell it/own it. > > Make sure you know where all their account info is, the will, medical directive, power of attorney, etc. My dad kept it all in a binder, and showed me where the binder was kept. > > I know you don’t want to contact the brother about this, but I would still recommend he be clear on what he is entitled-to (nothing). He will show-up and it sounds like has the ability to cause trouble. Even with airtight wills and documents, there may be issues, and you don’t need that when the time comes. Get it settled-out now, while your parents are still around. Spot on. I’m not familiar with Transfer-On-Death, aside from designating beneficiaries for things like IRAs, but that sounds useful. My middle brother (4 kids, 1-3 are boys, then me) was estranged from the parents off and on for years, and was verbally abusive to everyone in the family his entire life (as well as physically abusive to me when we were kids - he saw nothing wrong with hitting me for fun or to get his way). When my mother was in her final days, he threatened to go to court to get older and younger brother set aside as having medical power of attorney (he wanted to prolong mom’s life against her wishes), and he was a royal pain in every way possible while the will was being settled, including accusations that others had stolen from the house and throwing tantrums that others were designated to receive specific items that he felt were Very Valuable (which of course meant he was shafted). If the parents do get things updated with a lawyer, chances are the lawyer will suggest they set up a revocable living trust for the house and other assets. That can avoid a lot of probate headaches including the brother attempting to contest the will. Make sure the parents have a medical directive in place authorizing you (or someone) to make decisions in case they are incapacitated. They can add guidelines for specific things (e.g. on mine it says that if I’ve got dementia, discontinue life-extending treatments such as a pacemaker). Being listed on their bank accounts (for checkwriting etc.) is a reasonable idea; a friend of mine was in that position with her mother and it was really a godsend. Failing that, they can give you a durable power of attorney that kicks in if they become incapacitated - my understanding is that those are trickier though as the banks etc. may worry that the POA was revoked. Their lawyer should be able to advise on what’s best. As far as the house, the OP doesn’t want that in her name at this point - it affects capital gains when the place is sold. If the parents put her on the deed, say the place was bought for 200,000 and is later sold for 1 million dollars - the OP would be on the hook for 800,000 dollars in capital gains. There’s more to it than that, especially if it’s a partial transfer, but in general she’d be better off inheriting the house at its current value (the 1 million), then there would be little capital gain to worry about. Putting the house into a living trust would avoid probate issues in any event. When the time comes to settle things out (and I know you’re hoping that’s a long time from now), you’ll probably be required to post some kind of bond to the state, that you will deal with the estate as appropriate. Executors can also charge a percentage of the estate as their fee; while family members often forego that, you can opt to do so. If everything were left to you, it would be moot anyway except perhaps for income tax purposes? just guessing but if you took a fee that would be taxable income, but the estate itself would not be taxed unless it exceeded some base amount. Property is valued at the time of death, there may be gains or losses. Stock, for example, might either be sold (and the cash distributed) or distributed as shares. If it’s worth a million, then goes to 1.1 million by the time it’s sold and distributed, you’ve got 100,000 in capital gains for your own taxes that year. ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2014, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-going-to-be-an-executor/699875/23 "2014-09-29T23:50:58Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > Property is valued at the time of death, there may be gains or losses. Stock, for example, might either be sold (and the cash distributed) or distributed as shares. If it’s worth a million, then goes to 1.1 million by the time it’s sold and distributed, you’ve got 100,000 in capital gains for your own taxes that year. A good point. In my case, my dad’s funds were distributed to me and my brother per his % he set up with the TOD. I inherited his securities, but not the gains he may have had in the time they were his. This is called Cost Basis - I am taxed on my gains on those securities only after they became mine. If there are some securities involved here, it would be good to account for this in your tax plan (for example, if you receive securities, and you have young kids, you can sell them immediately, then put the funds into a 529 college savings plan, where growth can take place tax-free as long as the money is used for college costs later). I am not your accountant or tax person or anything like that. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2014, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-going-to-be-an-executor/699875/24 "2014-09-29T23:51:50Z")
When writing their will, it is important for them to acknowledge your brother as their son, and specifically stipulate the amount of the estate he is to inherit, even if that is one dollar. failing that, he can get a good lawyer to challenge the will, claiming a natural inheritance. If there are other heirs who are designated to inherit a part of the legacy, you have a right to deduct from the whole amount of the estate any reasonable costs that you incur in executing the will or hiring someone to do it, including the hourly time and expenditures of your own… That cost does not come out of your pocket, but from the whole amount. Of course, if you are the only heir, then it will in the end come out of your pocket, so then it is best to make a few phone calls to settle things yourself. It’s really easy to do, because banks, insurers, utilities, etc., have been through all this before, and all you need in order to conduct the affairs is to show them a copy of the death certificate and the will that names you as executor. Their bank will give you signing rights to pay bills and execution costs out of the estate. It’s easier if they sign everything over to you in the first place. If they have bank saving assets, just have them go the bank and have them designated POD Yourself (Pay On Death). They will just hand you all the cash, if you wish, immediately when they see the death certificate, it’s then yours and no court can mess with it. As long as they are alive, they are in full control of the funds, and they immediately and automatically become your the minute they die. The above, of course, applies only if they die simultaneously, or within a very short time of each other. Otherwise, the survivor simply inherits everything from the spouse, especially if you live in a community property state. But even then, each of them should have a will giving their estate to each other, to keep your brother out of the picture. IANAL, but my sister was executor for an aunt, an uncle, and our mother, and she asked me to help with some matters, and the above is how things went in those instances. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2014, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-going-to-be-an-executor/699875/25 "2014-09-29T23:56:47Z")
Thanks, everyone. My dad just called and said they have an appointment with the attorney to update the trust next Monday. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2014, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-going-to-be-an-executor/699875/26 "2014-09-30T00:23:31Z")
Just went through this and have one more thing to do before closing the estate. Can’t add much except when the funeral director asks how many death certificates you want, don’t skimp. I got two or three and had to go back for a few more. They didn’t cost that much, just one more thing to deal with. When I was closing accounts and such, most places made a copy but I needed to give an “original” for a couple things. When taking care of things just assume they want a copy of the death certificate and a copy of the court document naming you executor (now called the Personal Representative in my state). ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2014, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-going-to-be-an-executor/699875/27 "2014-09-30T00:44:38Z")
We’ve got problem siblings as well. When I went with my mother to talk to the attorney, I had all the issues typed up and diagrammed to make it easier for the lawyer to understand our objectives. The attorney said she appreciated it a many people try to dance around issues. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-going-to-be-an-executor/699875.md?page=1)