# So I'm growing a beard. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 8, 2010, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013 "2010-09-08T03:21:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/1 "2010-09-08T03:21:45Z")
Mostly just because - well, I’m single. I can do WHATEVER I WANT! But really, though. A pair of female coworkers put me up to it. I had told them previously: [ol] [li]I can’t grow a beard.[/li][li]It looks terrible.[/li][li]Like I’m 15 years old.[/li][li]Seriously, it’s terrible.[/li][/ol] But they kept _sassing_ me so now I’m trying to do it. I’ve been at it ten days now. Not a razor since then. They both proclaim to love it. They coo and flatter. _Oh, please don’t stop! No, it looks really good! Keep it at least until Tuesday! No, Thursday!_ They are making fun of me. It looks terrible. This is not false humility, it really looks terrible. I look worse than homeless. 😃 But anyways, I’m ten days in. It really does look pretty poor. But I got carded for buying beer today (first time in a long time) and the middle-aged female cashier looked at my ID, looked at me, and said “Huh. You look really young.” (I’m nearly, but not quite 30.) She was looking at my terrible facial hair. That’s why I look young. Probably 50% of 16-year-olds can grow better facial hair than me. But then I went to pick up two twelve-packs with one hand. God help me, she purred. “That’s it. Pick them up. _USE_ those muscles.” And this wasn’t a joke, she was hitting on me. I don’t get that much. Hell, nearly ever. :eek: What the fuck is going on? ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/2 "2010-09-08T03:42:35Z")
I can’t grow a decent beard either and I’m 46. In fact I can pretty much get by shaving every other day. My beard just doesn’t fill in enough to make it look good. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_the\_Immortal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Max\_the\_Immortal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_the_Immortal)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/3 "2010-09-08T03:59:48Z")
I finally let my whiskers grow out over the summer. I didn’t trim them at all until late July. I looked like Brian Blessed. It was awesome. I noticed, though, that my beard grows in a pattern reminiscent of that of controversial figures like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and a young Fidel Castro. It’s the mostly-bare space between my chin and lower lip. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/4 "2010-09-08T04:29:58Z")
distribution can be patchy. the more you can grow it out the less significant patchiness is. ---
**Author:** ![Containing\_Iron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/57b2e6/32.png) [@Containing\_Iron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Containing_Iron)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/5 "2010-09-08T05:42:20Z")
> [@Markxxx](#): > > I can’t grow a decent beard either and I’m 46. In fact I can pretty much get by shaving every other day. My beard just doesn’t fill in enough to make it look good. I’m 28 and have very light facial hair… I shave at most once a week, and then only because my gf complains that my hair stings when we kiss. 😉 When I was 21 I shaved about once a month, because only then it would be noticeable. I joke that growing a beard is a 5-year plan for me. so growing a beard is not even an option for me… have fun with your new hobby OP! ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/6 "2010-09-08T05:48:32Z")
I maintain a goatee. I grew it because of a deal I made with a former GF. She wanted me to grow it, and I wanted her to, ah, let’s just say, REMOVE a hair feature on her body. We agreed to the exchange, and were both very happy with the results for the duration of our relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/7 "2010-09-08T05:52:09Z")
I can grow a pretty awesome beard if I want to, but it really starts to bother me after about 4-5 days. I just feel scruffy and can’t stand it any longer. Such a shame - I’ve always admired the Hasidic Jew style and think I’d be damn sexy that way. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2010, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/8 "2010-09-08T05:56:38Z")
4-5 days? Give it three weeks. It’ll stop itching by then and you can enjoy it in all its glory. If the itching is too much for you in the short term, do what I do: drink heavily. ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/9 "2010-09-09T03:05:43Z")
_sigh_ I had a one-on-one meeting with our resident “Six-Sigma Blackbelt” today. I’m really enjoying some proper data-crunching, so I wanted not to embarrass myself. I spent a _long_ minute looking in the mirror this morning. And I just couldn’t do it. Ten days of growth and it was still uneven. I certainly get the “length”, but I would need a follicle density (area) of at least twice of what I have not to look a fool. I looked like a slacker-hobo. So I shaved it all off. All this beard is lost… like tears in rain. Time to [**I** -MR](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Control_chart) ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/10 "2010-09-09T04:32:21Z")
> [@GameHat](#): > > All this beard is lost… like tears in rain. it will probably be renewable for longer than your head hair. ---
**Author:** ![ethansiegel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/2bfe46/32.png) [@ethansiegel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ethansiegel)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/11 "2010-09-09T06:38:35Z")
I never had one, and for the most part wasn’t able to for a long time; most recently, at age 28. But I’m 32 now, and I started growing one last Thanksgiving. It looks fantastic, although it was pretty sketchy for the first two weeks. There were, as was said earlier, a lot of bald/sparse patches, but after about 4 weeks I was able to tell what grew well and what didn’t. And if you can make it to that point, you can start _shaping_ your facial hair, and choose something that works well with your face and overall appearance. And if you _still_ look like a 16-year-old and don’t have any good hair that you want to keep, try again in a few years; 30 is the magic number for many men! ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/12 "2010-09-09T07:06:45Z")
> [@ethansiegel](#): > > …And if you can make it to that point, you can start _shaping_ your facial hair, and choose something that works well with your face and overall appearance… I believe the term is “manscaping.” ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/13 "2010-09-09T07:23:32Z")
I’m sort of growing a beard. I haven’t fully committed to the idea yet but I haven’t shaved for about a week now. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/14 "2010-09-09T07:29:51Z")
> [@GameHat](#): > > Mostly just because - well, I’m single. I can do WHATEVER I WANT! > > But really, though. A pair of female coworkers put me up to it. I had told them previously: > [ol] > [li]I can’t grow a beard.[/li][li]It looks terrible.[/li][li]Like I’m 15 years old.[/li][li]Seriously, it’s terrible.[/li][/ol] > But they kept _sassing_ me so now I’m trying to do it. > > I’ve been at it ten days now. Not a razor since then. > > They both proclaim to love it. They coo and flatter. _Oh, please don’t stop! No, it looks really good! Keep it at least until Tuesday! No, Thursday!_ > > They are making fun of me. It looks terrible. This is not false humility, it really looks terrible. I look worse than homeless. > > 😃 > > But anyways, I’m ten days in. It really does look pretty poor. But I got carded for buying beer today (first time in a long time) and the middle-aged female cashier looked at my ID, looked at me, and said “Huh. You look really young.” (I’m nearly, but not quite 30.) > > She was looking at my terrible facial hair. That’s why I look young. Probably 50% of 16-year-olds can grow better facial hair than me. > > But then I went to pick up two twelve-packs with one hand. God help me, she purred. “That’s it. Pick them up. _USE_ those muscles.” And this wasn’t a joke, she was hitting on me. I don’t get that much. Hell, nearly ever. > > :eek: > > What the fuck is going on? Most women with beards look disgusting, why should you be any exception? ---
**Author:** ![oddity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/da6949/32.png) [@oddity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oddity)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/15 "2010-09-09T08:52:29Z")
> [@GameHat](#): > > So I shaved it all off. As a facial-hair-loving woman, a little part of me just died. My father always had a beard to hide car accident scars. I don’t know if that creepily explains my love of the face 'fro and the fact that all my boyfriends have had facial hair. One tip - next time you shave off a beard, shave off everything but the mustache area first. It makes a good photo. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/16 "2010-09-09T14:07:53Z")
If you get a phase where it itches, try combing in some talc. Not enough to change colors. Just as an FYI, traditionally a beard with no mustache signifies a pacifist or non-violent man. Since the military in Europe in the past tended to allow (or require depending on the unit and era) mustaches but not beards, a beard alone was a form of protest. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/17 "2010-09-09T14:34:44Z")
When I grew mine seven years ago, it took about two months to really[fill in completely](http://www.nouilles.info/sdpix/11047.html) and I still need to shave a bit over the cheekbones as that stayed thin. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/18 "2010-09-09T15:22:27Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > If you get a phase where it itches, try combing in some talc. Not enough to change colors. > Just as an FYI, traditionally a beard with no mustache signifies a pacifist or non-violent man. Since the military in Europe in the past tended to allow (or require depending on the unit and era) mustaches but not beards, a beard alone was a form of protest. It can also signify a SCUBA diver who likes a nice tight fit for his mask. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/19 "2010-09-09T17:11:46Z")
A man growing his first beard needs to put the razor away for four weeks. No shaping, no trimming. Leave it alone. Only after a month has past can you really judge whether or not it suits you. The exceptions to this are the men who know they have hardly any facial hair to speak of, but then they typically do not attempt to grow a beard. I’ve had a beard for about four years now. I’ve grown it out to three or four inches, and I’ve kept it short at times as well. I don’t think I’ll ever go clean shaven again. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2010, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013/20 "2010-09-09T17:23:25Z")
Around here, we usually have “No Shave November”, once a year. Some people keep theirs longer some can’t hack it more than a week. drastic\_quench, is right. You need to give it at least 4 weeks of no shaving and then trim where you want to. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-growing-a-beard/553013.md?page=2)