# So I'm paying my bills... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 29, 2005, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941 "2005-09-29T00:04:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/1 "2005-09-29T00:04:13Z")
…And I tear open my cable bill and the amount is: **$738.49** :eek: **WTF?** So I read down the list of charges and there is 3 or 4 PPV orders on virtually every day of each month of the billing period. And it’s **all** **porn**. I didn’t worder this shit!.. 😕 So I flip to the front of the bill for the customer service number… clearly this is some kind of huge error… and then I see it. It’s my next door neighbour’s bill. :rolleyes: This is definitely too much information. I suppose I will drop it off to him annonymously but I feel like leaving some kind of smart ass note… I won’t… but it’s tempting… ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/2 "2005-09-29T00:07:15Z")
Actually, why don’t you just call the cable company pretending to be your neighbor and ask for another copy of your bill to be sent to you because you think you accidentally threw “yours” way. That way, your neighbor is none the wiser… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/3 "2005-09-29T00:08:18Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > I suppose I will drop it off to him annonymously but I feel like leaving some kind of smart ass note… I won’t… but it’s tempting… Tape the bill to a jar of Vaseline and put it in his mailbox. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/4 "2005-09-29T00:09:37Z")
So what you’re saying is that your neighbor is rich and horny, eh? ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/5 "2005-09-29T00:12:02Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > Tape the bill to a jar of Vaseline and put it in his mailbox. Fuck that… Now I’m thinking of finding out if he’s a sex offender. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/6 "2005-09-29T00:13:01Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Fuck that… Now I’m thinking of finding out if he’s a sex offender. :dubious: Ah. Then put some sand in the jar. ---
**Author:** ![MonkeyMule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc348/32.png) [@MonkeyMule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MonkeyMule)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/7 "2005-09-29T00:14:17Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Fuck that… Now I’m thinking of finding out if he’s a sex offender. :dubious: Obviously he’s not that smart. I mean if he’s THAT lonely 800 bucks will buy you several good times with the nationality of your choice. Not that I’d know 😃 ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/8 "2005-09-29T00:18:37Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > Actually, why don’t you just call the cable company pretending to be your neighbor and ask for another copy of your bill to be sent to you because you think you accidentally threw “yours” way. That way, your neighbor is none the wiser… Most companies will charge a “convenience charge” for this. Also, you won’t have the social security number of the neighbor. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/9 "2005-09-29T00:21:55Z")
> [@dalej42](#): > > Most companies will charge a “convenience charge” for this. Also, you won’t have the social security number of the neighbor. I could just say I opened the bill by mistake because it was in my mailbox. I’m sure the cable company would re-issue without much of a fuss. It’s not like I have to tell them who I am. I’ll block my phone number when I call. Still, disturbing to know what some of your neighbours intimate habits are. ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/10 "2005-09-29T09:27:12Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > …And I tear open my cable bill and the amount is: **$738.49** > > :eek: > > **WTF?** > > \ My rent is only about $60 more than he spends on porn each month. That is amazing. [sub]I’ll bet he’s a very quiet neighbor.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/11 "2005-09-29T09:47:46Z")
Dude, fuck the Vaseline…this guy needs Gatorade. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/12 "2005-09-29T10:45:20Z")
Maybe you should introduce your neighbour to the internet. He can get all the free porn he wants! ---
**Author:** ![Amp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Amp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amp)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/13 "2005-09-29T10:52:45Z")
This is priceless. One of the Google Ads for this thread is “Christian Debt Help”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/14 "2005-09-29T11:42:47Z")
> [@ArchiveGuy](#): > > Actually, why don’t you just call the cable company pretending to be your neighbor and ask for another copy of your bill to be sent to you because you think you accidentally threw “yours” way. That way, your neighbor is none the wiser… And while you’ve got them on the Phone, order more porn. When come back, bring porn. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/15 "2005-09-29T11:47:37Z")
I’ve never received a bill that high, but I did receive a couple years ago that had some pay-per-views that I didn’t order. (And neither did anyone else, because I was home alone at the times they were being shown.) They took them off without any hassle, believe it or not. ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/16 "2005-09-29T14:35:36Z")
> [@Earl Snake-Hips Tucker](#): > > I’ve never received a bill that high, but I did receive a couple years ago that had some pay-per-views that I didn’t order. (And neither did anyone else, because I was home alone at the times they were being shown.) They took them off without any hassle, believe it or not. There, that’s what you need to do: call the cable company, pretend to be your neighbor, and contest some of the movies. "OK, I remember ordering ‘Jugs-a-Rama,’ but I \*\*certainly \*\* didn’t order ‘Anal Suck Fest!’ What do you think I am, a _pervert_?!? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bouv](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bc8723/32.png) [@bouv](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bouv)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/17 "2005-09-29T15:34:17Z")
> [@Large Marge](#): > > My rent is only about $60 more than he spends on porn each month. > > That is amazing. > > [sub]I’ll bet he’s a very quiet neighbor.[/sub] My rent is almost HALF of his porn bill! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![zelie\_zelerton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/59ef9b/32.png) [@zelie\_zelerton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zelie_zelerton)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/18 "2005-09-29T15:53:20Z")
Rather disturbingly the google ad is ‘Pay your vets fees’ :eek I once moved to a flat and got a gas bill after a month for over £620 under the previous tenant’s name. I called and told them the date i had moved in (and faxed them a copy of my contract with the owner) but they didn’t send me my own bill. By the time i left it was up to £780 but they still refused to give me my own account. Some guy did come round from the gas company and according to him the bill for the whole building (8 different flats) was being sent to the account for my flat. They still didn’t cut it off and even though i offered to pay my share three different times they weren’t interested. So that year i got free gas 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/19 "2005-09-29T16:37:15Z")
> [@bouv](#): > > My rent is almost HALF of his porn bill! :eek: Hell, my **mortgage** is $100/month less than his porn bill. That’s some impressive spanking, there, boy. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941/20 "2005-09-29T16:43:37Z")
> [@Jonathan Chance](#): > > Hell, my **mortgage** is $100/month less than his porn bill. > > That’s some impressive spanking, there, boy. Mine, too. Damn. I’m highly impressed. E. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-paying-my-bills/323941.md?page=2)