# So I'm popping over to the universal library for a bit. Can I get any of y'all anything? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [February 24, 2010, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284 "2010-02-24T18:20:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Wargamer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/df705f/32.png) [@Wargamer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wargamer)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2010, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/21 "2010-02-24T20:56:05Z")
Well, if you aren’t bring back any DVDs, could you at lay your hands on a copy of _Basic Hyperspace Physics_ and _Material Science 101_ textbooks? I won’t understand them, but I need a cocktail party conversation starter for this weekend. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2010, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/22 "2010-02-24T21:07:44Z")
Can you pick me up a copy of _The Complete Plays and Novels of Oscar Wilde, Volume II (1900-1920)_? If it’s any good I’ll send you back for volume 3. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tooth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c67d28/32.png) [@The\_Tooth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tooth)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2010, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/23 "2010-02-24T22:06:54Z")
Crumberry’s _Why Things Are Not Otherwise_, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 24, 2010, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/24 "2010-02-24T22:09:47Z")
I’d like the concluding two volumes of Robert Anton Wilson’s [Historical Illuminatus Chronicles](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Historical_Illuminatus_Chronicles) pentalogy; everything George Orwell wrote after he moved to California in 1949 and his lung problems cleared up; and, of course, the **real** _Necronomicon._ ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/25 "2010-02-25T00:15:31Z")
Mark Twain’s California newspaper editor was going to send him to Japan, to do a series of letters/articles on that country, much as he did for Hawaii. I’d love to hear Twain’s saltly & cynical observations on Japan in flux–from the Feudal Era, jumping straight to the Industrial Era in one leap. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/26 "2010-02-25T00:16:24Z")
The complete Hitchhiker’s Guide series. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/27 "2010-02-25T00:34:29Z")
All my usual requests are made already, so perhaps you could get me a copy of “The Amazing Adventures of Captain Gladys Stoutpamphlet and her Intrepid Spaniel Stig Amongst the Giant Pygmies of Beckles”…volume eight. Or the expurgated version of “Olsen’s Standard Book of British Birds.” (The one without the gannet.) ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/28 "2010-02-25T00:44:10Z")
> [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](#): > > I don’t need anything, but please give my regards to Lucien. And Thursday Next while you’re there. As for me, I’ll take the most recent translation of the Voynich manuscript. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/29 "2010-02-25T00:50:19Z")
Come to think of it, the _Handbook of Robotics_ would be a pretty useful reference. Oh, and if it’s written down anywhere, a copy of the song Luthien sang to Mandos. Anything good enough to move the Doomsayer himself to tears has to be worth experiencing, even if it’d lose a lot in written form. ---
**Author:** ![slitterst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecc23a/32.png) [@slitterst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slitterst)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/30 "2010-02-25T02:18:06Z")
Could you grab me a copy of Nanny Ogg’s _The Joye of Snackes_? Oh, and a bucket of ice. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/31 "2010-02-25T03:26:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Could you grab me a copy of Nanny Ogg’s The Joye of Snackes? [No need to go dimension-hopping for that one](http://www.amazon.com/Nanny-Cookbook-Discworld-Terry-Pratchett/dp/0552146730) ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/32 "2010-02-25T04:16:26Z")
Can you pick me up the full, unabridged version of _ **The Princess Bride** _\*\*? The real one, by S. Morgenstern\*\* (I need to know what the ladies packed for their trip to Florin). Don’t bother with _ **The Necronomicon of Al Hazred** _. Too Lovecraft-y. Or \*\*\*The Great Pie-Eat \*\*\*by Gordon Lachance. It’s like Stephen King channeled by Wesley Crusher. Hey, see if you can find _ **Will There Ever Be a Rainbow?** _ – it’s the autobiography of one Monty Burns. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/33 "2010-02-25T04:18:55Z")
_A Dance With Dragons_, by GRRM. Also, this one is going to be a bit obscure, but I’m taking a course on Chaucer’s poetry. We’re finishing up _The House of Fame_, which abruptly stops in the middle of the story. If you can get hold of what happens after the figure of great authority shows up, I’d really appreciate it. And my professor might give me an A. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/34 "2010-02-25T04:28:55Z")
> [@Voyager](#): > > Me too for this one. As long as you’re in the Heinlein wing, get the stories mentioned in the Future History chart that never made it into Astounding. Also from the lost R.A. Heinlein works, I would like the sequel to “Time Enough for Love, The Lives of Lazarus Long”. I believe it’s called “No Time for Child Support, or Why I Really Went to Space”. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/35 "2010-02-25T06:01:34Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > _Cold Fusion for Dummies_ for me, thanks. Hm. Don’t expect the advice to work anywhere the fine structure constant isn’t the same as it is in the city, country, and universe of publication. If you would be so good, pick me up the series of monograms Alan Turing wrote in the 1960s. His insights into non-Von Neumann computing devices really picked up after he got married, and DEC wouldn’t be the company it is today if it weren’t for the Parallel Data Processors he and Feynman helped design. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 10:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/36 "2010-02-25T10:04:32Z")
Can you check the Dewey Decimal Catalogue so I can finally find out who wrote the “Book of Love”? I’d like to shake his hand. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/37 "2010-02-25T10:17:12Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > Can you check the Dewey Decimal Catalogue so I can finally find out who wrote the “Book of Love”? I’d like to shake his hand. Make sure he washes that hand, first. What? "Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/38 "2010-02-25T12:29:38Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > I, personally, would like the complete Library at Alexandria in electronic format, translated into English, with an extensive table of contents and fully indexed. Likewise a complete set of Dead Sea Scrolls, a complete set of the Nag Hammadi scrolls, and the full sagas of Gilgamesh and Beowulf. > > There might be other items, but these are off the top of my head. Ill take these also, and add in The Great Book of Medicine [has all the formulary for the cures to all human ailments. Get the multiple volume version, not the microprint version, I don’t have an SEM] and I need a copy of Learn German in a day - the one that comes with the sleep learning cd, I don’t have a cube player. Also the World Atlas of Treasure Locations, Im short of cash =) ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/39 "2010-02-25T13:35:05Z")
The bible, unexpurgated, please. If you can find the one with footnotes and annotation from the original author, so much the better. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [February 25, 2010, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284/40 "2010-02-25T14:06:50Z")
I’d like a copy of Arpad Arutinov’s, _The Back Door of History_, often referenced by R A Lafferty. Some book search sites indicate Lafferty Himself wrote a book bearing that title; but much of his work was published by extremely obscure small presses & tends to be elusive. (He also references _The Fall of Rome_, supposedly written by himself. Surprise–it’s real. And non-fiction, at that. I’m currently reading it; but it’s still elusive.) Avram Davidson’s _Adventures in Unhistory_ is another of those “real” books that spent far too long being impossible to get. Please, though: Find any further volumes in the series beginning with _Peregrine: Primus_ & _Peregrine: Secundus_. At least one mystery went unanswered. And I’m sure there’s more to learn about Vergil Magus, whose story Davidson began to tell in _The Phoenix & The Mirror_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-popping-over-to-the-universal-library-for-a-bit-can-i-get-any-of-yall-anything/530284.md?page=3)