# So, I'm taking the wife to the ballet **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 19, 2013, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681 "2013-12-19T00:04:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/21 "2013-12-19T17:46:06Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Just remember that the “t” is silent. In English, it is. But in France, “CH” is pronounced the way “SH” is pronounced in English. So, to get the standard American “CH” sound in French, you have to add a “T” at the front. Hence “Tchaikovsky.” For that matter, a Chinese immigrant living in Paris might spell his name “Tchang” or “Tchen.” ---
**Author:** ![tim-n-va](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim-n-va/32/3001_2.png) [@tim-n-va](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tim-n-va)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/22 "2013-12-19T17:50:54Z")
I took my wife to see a version by the Moscow Ballet last night. I can’t speak Russian and was completely lost. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2013, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/23 "2013-12-19T23:47:11Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Are seats near the front of the orchestra pit good? What does she wear? If you’re sitting near the front of the orchestra (not the “pit”), you may not be able to see things in the rear of the stage. But don’t worry about it; just sit back and enjoy. \*The Nutcracker \*is one of those things that you don’t have to prepare for. That’s why you’ll see a lot of kids there. ---
**Author:** ![stui\_magpie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stui_magpie/32/11010_2.png) [@stui\_magpie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stui_magpie)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2013, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/24 "2013-12-20T00:55:46Z")
Great username - thread title combo.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2013, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/25 "2013-12-20T01:44:33Z")
> [@Flywheel](#): > > You’re gonna go see the bear in the little car, huh? [That’s what my mind immediately leapt to, too.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6xlW7qbF9I) ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2013, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/26 "2013-12-20T02:59:26Z")
> [@the\_diego](#): > > An orchestra seat is good for plays and operas. Balcony and box seats are best for ballet. Before it starts, buy a souvenir program and **let her read the synopsis, libretto,** and the names of the principal dancers. For _ **The Nutcracker** _? ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2013, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/27 "2013-12-20T04:15:29Z")
_The Nutcracker_, much like _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_, has a rich and varied history of props for audience members to use at specific moments. You will want to bring along a bag of walnuts, some candy canes, a cage of live mice, a sword and those blood packets like they use in the movies (although since it’s your first time, no one will think less of you if you bring a squirty bottle of ketchup instead of the blood packets). Have a good time! ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2013, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/28 "2013-12-21T04:58:07Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > In English, it is. But in France, “CH” is pronounced the way “SH” is pronounced in English. > > So, to get the standard American “CH” sound in French, you have to add a “T” at the front. Hence “Tchaikovsky.” For that matter, a Chinese immigrant living in Paris might spell his name “Tchang” or “Tchen.” All well and good, but I … don’t think there’s a “CH” in “ballet”? Or are you whooshing me for teasing RNATB? ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2013, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/29 "2013-12-23T00:21:08Z")
The most important thing is to remember not to snore too loudly. I saw the Nutcracker several years ago and was bored out of my mind. Between the classical music (which I despise) and the ballet, it was the longest evening of my life. Not even a snack at intermission helped. And who knew that there wasn’t one freaking word to the whole thing? Hours and hours and hours of music, pounding at my ear drums… Of course, I’m not what most would call cultured…some would say I’m barely civilized. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2013, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/30 "2013-12-23T00:31:22Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > _The Nutcracker_, much like _The Rocky Horror Picture Show_, has a rich and varied history of props for audience members to use at specific moments. You will want to bring along a bag of walnuts, some candy canes, a cage of live mice, a sword and those blood packets like they use in the movies (although since it’s your first time, no one will think less of you if you bring a squirty bottle of ketchup instead of the blood packets). Have a good time! And really, don’t wait for the others, feel free to throw your applesauce up on the stage first, they’re right behind you just waiting for someone to get the party started. Whenever you’re ready, remember, there’s no specific cue to start the applesauce fight. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2013, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/31 "2013-12-23T19:15:42Z")
Did you go? I hope you enjoyed the half naked ladies dancing around for you. I just hope you didn’t throw any dollar bills up on the stage. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2013, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/32 "2013-12-23T19:29:05Z")
We went. It was excellent. Well, the first act was extremely boring, but the second was excellent. Our seats were also excellent - four rows from the front, which was just high enough to see the entire stage (and an excellent view of the conductor’s bald pate). I threw neither dollar bills nor applesauce, which might have exposed me as a bit of a hayseed but saved me some money. The only downers were the twin babies that the couple right in front of us decided to bring along. Unsurprisingly, they whined and/or wailed through most of the performance. That, and the unidentified beverage that somebody behind me spilled which gradually pooled under my seat during the performance. ---
**Author:** ![Falchion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Falchion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falchion)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2013, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/33 "2013-12-23T19:33:05Z")
> [@tim-n-va](#): > > I took my wife to see a version by the Moscow Ballet last night. I can’t speak Russian and was completely lost. :smack: That’s okay. It’s hard to follow the lyrics, even when they do it in English. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2013, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/34 "2013-12-23T20:11:03Z")
Now that you’ve dipped your toe into “(semi) high kulcha,” it’s time to stop using phrases like “the wife.” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2013, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/35 "2013-12-23T20:31:38Z")
… _a_ wife? ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [December 23, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/36 "2013-12-23T21:08:34Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > We went. It was excellent. Well, the first act was extremely boring, but the second was excellent. Glad to hear you enjoyed it! I don’t get the ballet hate, myself. Opera, theatre, ballet, symphony at least once a week - that’s the way I want to live my life! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/37 "2013-12-24T02:30:51Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > … _a_ wife? I believe the correct term is, “Old Ball-And-Chain.” Or if you want to go _really_ high class, “The Old Lady.” ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/38 "2013-12-24T20:31:24Z")
Straight No Chaser’s take [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/q3i3pLcLu8g/maxresdefault.jpg "Straight No Chaser - Nutcracker [Official Lyric Video]") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3i3pLcLu8g) ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/39 "2013-12-24T20:37:16Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I believe the correct term is, “Old Ball-And-Chain.” > > Or if you want to go _really_ high class, “The Old Lady.” …or ‘the trouble and strife’… ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2013, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681/40 "2013-12-24T22:00:11Z")
In the day _douche bag_ was reserved for the wife alone. Nowadays you can’t even tell who people are talking about when someone uses it. Tsk. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-taking-the-wife-to-the-ballet/676681.md?page=3)