# So I'm the jerk for desiring timely egress?! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 4, 2018, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027 "2018-03-04T22:19:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/41 "2018-03-05T19:07:42Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > So too often my choices seem to be between being assertive - and having that interpreted negatively as angry, pushy, etc. Or being passive, and feeling frustrated and confused as a result. It seems to me you have taken some unnecessary abuse in this thread about your response, and I sure don’t want to add to it. The only real problem I perceive from your OP is that someone made a remark and you took it in, you internalized it and made it important. I’m not sure why you care about what that person thinks. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/42 "2018-03-05T19:16:02Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Mimes. > > Nah, according to the OP, they were long rows with a lot more people between them that way. > > Pretty much old people on the end of the row being jerks, standing around talking rather than allowing anyone to leave; is the way I read it. Yeah, I got that, but if the OP had really been there long enough for the entire rest of the balcony to be empty, then the other half of his row would be empty, too. Some of the folks near the middle of the row could have taken that route; longer distance, but quicker than waiting. The folks who were blocking the end of the row were being very inconsiderate. But rather than just wait for them to get a clue I’d have also looked for an alternate route. ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/43 "2018-03-05T19:26:27Z")
I would have just stepped over the seat to the next row up or down. I realize mileage varies on the ability to do that, though. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/44 "2018-03-05T19:45:17Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Yeah, I got that, but if the OP had really been there long enough for the entire rest of the balcony to be empty, then the other half of his row would be empty, too. Some of the folks near the middle of the row could have taken that route; longer distance, but quicker than waiting. … Yes, the OP REALLY had been there that long. This theater is pretty well designed, most of the attendees tend to be regulars, and it usually clears quite quickly. We were probably 1/3-2/5 of the way in. Enough towards the L that heading that way was the clear first impulse. And while I did not count, there were at least a few people behind my wife, also desiring to exit to the L. Finally, the exit and parking lot were in the same direction as the L exit. > [@](#): > > I would have just stepped over the seat to the next row up or down. Next row down would have taken us over the balcony railing. 😉 I actually considered stepping 1 row up. But my wife’s legs aren’t quite as long as mine. And - as I’ve mentioned several times, I was confused as to why there was no movement. Thanks for all the responses. In many situations, my wife and I prefer aisle seats, for the leg room and easier egress. This show was general admission. Before it started, they announced that a full house was expected, and asked every row to fill in empty seats towards the center. Although we were already seated partway in, I joked to my wife that they were inconveniencing folk who came early and preferred the aisle seats… ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/45 "2018-03-05T19:59:13Z")
You also could have just kept loudly saying, “BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!”, until the bottleneck cleared and the line began to move. This has the advantage of being done somewhat covertly such that no one is realky certain who’s making that sound!😃 ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/46 "2018-03-05T20:09:00Z")
> [@CarnalK](#): > > So stupid old people were blocking the way and I’m the asshole for getting pissed off over two minute delay?!?! I am so confused by this exchange. **CarnalK** , just one post above, you were saying the delay was understandable and there’s no sense getting mad, and you’re replying here to a post saying it does make sense to be miffed, but in the abovequoted, you seem to suddenly be taking exactly the opposite position from before. Explain please! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2018, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/47 "2018-03-05T23:13:58Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Next time just loudly declare “I desire tiny egrets!” and they will move out of your way. Or comment how you just can’t contain the explosive diarrhea _one minute longer_. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/48 "2018-03-06T00:52:50Z")
Greene. And really just a minute? That is kind of impatient. Especially in winter when everyone needs to gather up coats. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/49 "2018-03-06T00:56:21Z")
This doesn’t exactly refer to the situation in the OP, but where I work I routinely need to walk between 2 or more public buildings. There is one doorway that has a very large, spacious room on one side of it, and all outdoors on the other. More often than not – you guessed it – there are people standing _in the doorway._ This is not an anomaly; it is an everyday occurrence. I have begun to theorize that there is something about a doorway that subconsciously gives people a sense of comfort, or safety, or something. ETA: There are even times when I’ll (politely) say “Excuse me, please,” they’ll move to allow me to pass, and then step right back into the doorway! I just don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Tapiotar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@Tapiotar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapiotar)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/50 "2018-03-06T01:31:31Z")
> [@Gary\_T](#): > > That’s easy to understand. What’s hard to understand is why those people insist on doing it squarely in the path of folks who may wish to move on, when there are numerous options that don’t inconvenience others. Apparently their ability to think runs dry when it comes to recognizing that not everyone wants to do exactly what they want to do. > > It does become easier to understand when one regards the talky thinky path-blockers as self-important inconsiderate assholes who believe they’re the only ones who matter in the world. The path-blockers might be inconsiderate, but someone who gets angry and impatient after only a minute or two also seems to have a problem with anger and impatience. Look, you are not the only one in the world! Your desire to move fast can be seen as self-important and inconsiderate! You are condemning people for not conforming to your wishes, as if yours are the only ones that matter. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/51 "2018-03-06T01:33:56Z")
A lot of people in this thread appear not to have read the OP or any of the OP’s remarks in the rest of the thread. Or maybe reading comprehension is a lost art. The OP said he was bewildered and confused. NOT ANGRY. (I on the other hand am getting angry at the people who cannot/will not read!) ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/52 "2018-03-06T01:49:47Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > A lot of people in this thread appear not to have read the OP or any of the OP’s remarks in the rest of the thread. Or maybe reading comprehension is a lost art. The OP said he was bewildered and confused. NOT ANGRY. (I on the other hand am getting angry at the people who cannot/will not read!) He said he was confused about string theory - unsurprising, I am not impressed with Brian Greene’s explanations either - and goes on to refer to the people blocking the aisle as “stupid.” That doesn’t read as un-angry to me. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/53 "2018-03-06T02:30:02Z")
> [@Tapiotar](#): > > The path-blockers might be inconsiderate, but someone who gets angry and impatient after only a minute or two also seems to have a problem with anger and impatience. Look, you are not the only one in the world! Your desire to move fast can be seen as self-important and inconsiderate! You are condemning people for not conforming to your wishes, as if yours are the only ones that matter. The situations are not parallel. There’s a considerable difference between the very minor concession of stepping out of the way and the inconvenience of being blocked in for no good reason. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/54 "2018-03-06T02:46:03Z")
Attend events only in modern venues that are more impatient-friendly.\ In Riverfront Stadium in Cincinnati, there was a long escalator leading after the game from the upper seating to ground level. There was a continuous announcement commanding egressors not to stop and stand at the bottom of the escalator, but to keep moving. The command was loud and authoritative, to the extent that it could only be improved upon if it were in the German language. Achtung! Achtung! Imagining the OP’s fellow theater-goers all stopping to chat at the bottom of an escalator is, well, entertaining oin a Marx Brothers sort of way… ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/55 "2018-03-06T04:56:19Z")
> [@jtur88](#): > > Attend events only in modern venues that are more impatient-friendly.\ > > In Riverfront Stadium in Cincinnati, there was a long escalator leading after the game from the upper seating to ground level. There was a continuous announcement commanding egressors not to stop and stand at the bottom of the escalator, but to keep moving. The command was loud and authoritative, to the extent that it could only be improved upon if it were in the German language. Achtung! Achtung! Imagining the OP’s fellow theater-goers all stopping to chat at the bottom of an escalator is, well, entertaining oin a Marx Brothers sort of way… Riverfront Stadium has a vested interest in crowd control. Here’s why. > **[The Who concert disaster](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Who_concert_disaster)** > > The Who concert disaster was a crowd disaster that occurred on December 3, 1979, when English rock band the Who performed at Riverfront Coliseum (now known as Heritage Bank Center) in Cincinnati, Ohio, United States, and a rush of concert-goers outside the Coliseum's entry doors resulted in the deaths of 11 people. > The Who were in the midst of the United States leg of their 1979 world tour, which began in September with a total of seven dates split between the Capitol Theatre in Passaic, New J... ---
**Author:** ![watchwolf49](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e9c0ed/32.png) [@watchwolf49](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/watchwolf49)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/56 "2018-03-06T05:06:04Z")
Two minutes? … took an hour to get out of Winterland … ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/57 "2018-03-06T05:18:28Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > Riverfront Stadium has a vested interest in crowd control. Here’s why. > > [The Who concert disaster - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Who_concert_disaster) Riverfront Coliseum, not Riverfront Stadium. It is next to the former site of Riverfront Stadium, which was demolished in 2002. ---
**Author:** ![PlaceboTarget](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/placebotarget/32/1073_2.png) [@PlaceboTarget](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlaceboTarget)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/58 "2018-03-06T11:05:38Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > I try to understand other people, so as to avoid falling back on my general dislike for my own species. But my wife and I pretty much consider ourselves unfit for general public… Welcome to my world. Not my wife’s though. She’s nearly the most sociable person I’ve ever met and I’m happy she has accepted me. > [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Why didn’t you just go out the other end of your row? Exactly - that’s what I do. I regard people as obstacles so that I can prevent stupid remarks the type of which the OP mentions. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/59 "2018-03-06T14:00:38Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > Greene. Thanks. I was unsure when posting, and chose poorly. Or perhaps the final e IS there, but you can’t see it because it is in one of the other dimensions… 😉 For all those who think a minute or 2 isn’t very long, I urge you to experiment with various situations where you generally expect things to happen in just a few seconds. Time yourself, ad see how it feels, and what others’ reactions are. - Go to a busy fast food restaurant, and after you have paid and have been handed your meal, just stand at the counter for sixty seconds. See how patient everyone else is. Would likely work just as well in the drive-thru. -Attend a play or a sporting event, and grab an aisle seat. After the final play/encore/curtain call, stand in a way that blocks anyone else from exiting that end of the row for a minute. Heck, I’m often surprised at how long it seems when my computer spends an extra couple of seconds to do something that is generally nearly instantaneous. I’m not sure that anger is a big part of my reaction. Possibly an element of impatience - but is that the same as anger? Being “in a hurry” generally suggests to me a desire that things happen faster than usual. As opposed to expecting/wishing things happen somewhere near the normal pace, absent some understandable delaying factor. But mostly, I feel discomfort from confusion and uncertainty. _“Gee, this usually takes x-time. It has now been 10x. How much longer will it take?”_ Or \*“This is a situation I am familiar with, and people generally act a certain way nearly every time. This time, they are acting differently. Why are they doing that, and how ought I respond?” \* ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/60 "2018-03-06T16:30:17Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > He said he was confused about string theory - unsurprising, I am not impressed with Brian Greene’s explanations either - and goes on to refer to the people blocking the aisle as “stupid.” That doesn’t read as un-angry to me. Don’t come to our house, where ridiculing people for being stupid is a normal part of any day, and we aren’t at all angry about it - its just a word we use to describe it when people are - well, stupid. More often the word is associated with humor around here than anger. There are other words I use for this sort of behavior, and they don’t have anger in them. Inconsiderate is one. People being inconsiderate is annoying, but it seldom gets me angry. I’d be a bundle of anger if I was angry every time someone was inconsiderate - and I wouldn’t get anything done - I sure would never drive for instance. Now, usually I just let it go. But once in a while it just sort of sticks there (I have anxiety, and the bad thought patterns that go with it - things get stuck - its how my brain works. Other people have other reasons things get stuck - they get stuck for someone on the spectrum, for instance - and I suspect a lot of Dopers are somewhere on the spectrum). Sometimes I think I want to share that sort of stupid inconsiderate behavior with strangers on the internet. I’d come here to do it (I often type them, then delete them), but I don’t because someone will think I’m overreacting rather than sharing how stupid people are in my day to day life. So instead, its an entertainment activity in our house. And vocalizing it is a reminder for me to try and remember not to be inconsiderate - and to remind our kids of it as well. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027.md?page=4)