# So I'm the jerk for desiring timely egress?! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 4, 2018, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027 "2018-03-04T22:19:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/61 "2018-03-06T17:12:12Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > My experience has taught me that I am better off avoiding such exchanges. > > If I am the initial remarker - no matter how reasonable I believe my position and how temperate my remark, I anticipate someone will respond in a way making things about me and my remark, rather than the original situation. If I respond to a remark, I can imagine my response being interpreted as escalation. Then, whether or not I was initially angry, chances increase that I will BECOME angry. > > Part of it is likely due to the fact that I’m a tall male. While I do not perceive myself as generally angry, my natural facial expression is not a smile. And I generally make an effort to speak loudly and clearly enough to be heard - which I’ve had people interpret negatively. > > So too often my choices seem to be between being assertive - and having that interpreted negatively as angry, pushy, etc. Or being passive, and feeling frustrated and confused as a result. > > I suspect many people feel the same way. For some reason, other people seem get a pass to behave and talk as they wish. Yet I perceive myself as judged/criticized over my mildest reaction. Likely a facet of insecurity. But whatever the analysis - I generally find it better to stick with my family, my friends, and my dog! 😉 I have always been of the opinion that the person who is in the wrong in a situation is the one who provokes rudeness in others, not the person who is provoked to being rude. Yeah, you would have been less “rude” if you had simply stood there and waited until they finished their conversation, however long that was going to be, but they are still being inconsiderate assholes either way. > [@Tapiotar](#): > > The path-blockers might be inconsiderate, but someone who gets angry and impatient after only a minute or two also seems to have a problem with anger and impatience. Look, you are not the only one in the world! Your desire to move fast can be seen as self-important and inconsiderate! You are condemning people for not conforming to your wishes, as if yours are the only ones that matter. The OP did not get angry, and only showed slight impatience with people who were showing absolutely no consideration for people around them. He may not be the only one in the world, but neither is the group of people that has chosen to block the exit of everyone in the aisle. Their desire to stand and block other people when they have other options to continue their conversation in a manner that is not impeding others is extremely self-important and inconsiderate. You are condemning the OP for not conforming to the whims of others who are acting as if they are the only ones that matter. ---
**Author:** ![Uncommon\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Uncommon\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uncommon_Sense)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/62 "2018-03-06T17:33:15Z")
I can sympathize. Before I realized that dairy caused me great distress, I was at the Nutcracker and trying to hold in my “Distress” through most of the show. AS SOON as the lights came on I had to get the hell out of there ASAP. Usain Bolt couldn’t have moved fast enough to get out of my way. I was on a mission. EXCUSE MEEEEE!!! PEOPLE!!!\> ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/63 "2018-03-06T17:43:11Z")
I sometimes say, “in the immortal words of Bob Dylan, ‘don’t stand in the doorway, don’t block up the hall.’” ---
**Author:** ![MarvinKitFox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ba0ec/32.png) [@MarvinKitFox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MarvinKitFox)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/64 "2018-03-06T21:31:14Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > , but I sorta lean out and loudly say, “Excuse me.” Ok, so you have informed them that you passed gas, and were sorry to have done so. Now what? Next time, try the words “may we pass by?” “we would like to exit”, or something similar? ---
**Author:** ![MacLir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@MacLir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacLir)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/65 "2018-03-06T21:34:46Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > This is why we always book aisle seats for concerts and select them for movies. There are always those who feel the need to sit in a movie seat until the absolute last credit rolls so they can memorize who the key grip was. I’m one of them. A. Those people worked as hard or harder than the actors to create that movie, and deserve their fleeting moment of recognition. B. There is often additional content after the credits - sometimes even the actual ending of the movie. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/66 "2018-03-06T23:31:39Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > He said he was confused about string theory - unsurprising, I am not impressed with Brian Greene’s explanations either - and goes on to refer to the people blocking the aisle as “stupid.” That doesn’t read as un-angry to me. I think stupid is an accurate term given their behavior. Blocking the end of an aisle after an event has concluded and people want to leave is stupid. How unaware of one’s surroundings and the basics of cause and effect does one have to be to not realize that a conversation involving two people shouldn’t inconvenience a dozen? ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2018, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/67 "2018-03-06T23:43:56Z")
I get annoyed when I’m stuck behind some slowpokes when I’m trying to exit. But I get unreasonably infuriated when some impatient jackass elbows his way past me and then gets stuck behind the same slowpokes! ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2018, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/68 "2018-03-07T00:24:09Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > Didn’t time them. Don’t know exactly how long it took. I DO know that the entire rest of the balcony was empty - except for our half of a row. So however long it normally would take to clear an entire balcony, I had moved not an inch. You’re too good to crawl over the seats? You walk along the empty aisle tapping each person seated on the head. Duck, duck, duck, … When you get to the end of the row you silently squeeze the ass of the lady standing up. Honestly, if you feel you were in the right then the remarks you heard were of little consequence. Unless they were made by your mother-in-law. ---
**Author:** ![EdelweissPirate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8491ac/32.png) [@EdelweissPirate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EdelweissPirate)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2018, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/69 "2018-03-08T01:27:49Z")
I recently took a short road trip with my cousin and her Serious New Boyfriend (SNB). The guy set his cruise control to the speed limit and generally stayed in the right lane. So far, so good, right? Well, any time a car passed us with any significant speed, SNB made a comment to the effect of, “Well, _someone’s_ in a hurry!” It was kind of amazing that he could be so judgmental about someone doing a (quite reasonable) 65 MPH in a 55-MPH zone. It was weird. It was also a shining example of [fundamental attribution error](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fundamental_attribution_error). This guy was pretty sure that the people passing him were just big jerks who felt they were more important than he is. What he didn’t consider is that they may have had some compelling reason for passing him, such as a kid in the back seat who really needed to pee. Honestly, the sanctimony applied to the OP sounds to me like fundamental attribution error. There’s a broadly-accepted perception that speedy drivers or those in a rush to leave a theater are self-important, and sure, sometimes that’s the case. (The OP was in-bounds, though, IMHO). But some slow drivers and dawdling walkers impose their own kind of fascist self-importance: they’re mellow and unhurried, so anyone who wants to go faster must be un-mellow and fundamentally unreasonable. My cousin’s boyfriend got passed by another car and literally asked, “What’s the hurry?,” as though there could clearly be no valid reason to go faster than him. Well, there are lots of good reasons to be in a hurry. That the OP’s heckler couldn’t think of any is hardly the OP’s fault. ---
**Author:** ![minor7flat5](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minor7flat5/32/258_2.png) [@minor7flat5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minor7flat5)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2018, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/70 "2018-03-08T02:07:08Z")
As a side note… I have made a point of teaching my young folks that nobody wants to hear running commentary about the idiots on the road as they drive. Nobody. My nephew was particularly annoying with this for a while, commenting on the driving skills of every third car as he drove. That has since faded. ---
**Author:** ![Terry\_Kennedy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@Terry\_Kennedy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terry_Kennedy)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2018, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/71 "2018-03-08T08:41:15Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > You also could have just kept loudly saying, “BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!”, until the bottleneck cleared and the line began to move. I have been known to do the roadrunner’s “Meep-Meep!” \* to jokingly let people know they’re blocking the aisle. What I really want to do is have one of [these](https://www.walmart.com/ip/10086726) and let loose with a good loud blast. - An actual roadrunner I saw in the wild just sort of went “click-click” quietly. I’m not sure if the roadrunner I saw was broken or if the cartoons have been lying to me all these years. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2018, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/72 "2018-03-08T13:15:25Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > You also could have just kept loudly saying, “BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!”, until the bottleneck cleared and the line began to move. Yeah, but then the people BEHIND us might have thought we were backing up! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2018, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/73 "2018-03-08T15:22:14Z")
> [@minor7flat5](#): > > As a side note… I have made a point of teaching my young folks that nobody wants to hear running commentary about the idiots on the road as they drive. Nobody. > > My nephew was particularly annoying with this for a while, commenting on the driving skills of every third car as he drove. That has since faded. There are sometimes idiots that are worth pointing out though. ---
**Author:** ![Saint\_Cad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saint_cad/32/18907_2.png) [@Saint\_Cad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saint_Cad)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2018, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/74 "2018-03-08T15:33:14Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > So next time, try smiling, and maybe speaking a bit more gently, while you say something like, “Excuse me, can I get through?” Or yell loudly, “Get the fuck out of everyone’s way you entitled cunts!” ---
**Author:** ![minor7flat5](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minor7flat5/32/258_2.png) [@minor7flat5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minor7flat5)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2018, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/75 "2018-03-08T17:43:59Z")
> [@k9bfriender](#): > > There are sometimes idiots that are worth pointing out though. Indeed, but even Jersey doesn’t produce idiots in quantity sufficient to merit running commentary all the way to and from your destination. It gets old fast. Like the person who says you can use at most one exclamation point per document, I feel that colorful commentary on road idiots should be employed sparingly, in order to better bring out in full relief the stupidity of the one or two real idiots encountered every month or so. ---
**Author:** ![k9bfriender](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k9bfriender/32/3283_2.png) [@k9bfriender](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/k9bfriender)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2018, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/76 "2018-03-08T19:24:49Z")
> [@minor7flat5](#): > > Indeed, but even Jersey doesn’t produce idiots in quantity sufficient to merit running commentary all the way to and from your destination. It gets old fast. > > Like the person who says you can use at most one exclamation point per document, I feel that colorful commentary on road idiots should be employed sparingly, in order to better bring out in full relief the stupidity of the one or two real idiots encountered every month or so. You have apparently not met Ohio drivers 🙂 !!! ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2018, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/77 "2018-03-08T19:34:36Z")
[Excuse me, excuse me, pardon me, excuse me, pardon me…](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjXvrLyu93ZAhVnmuAKHT1JATUQtwIIJjAA&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dys4JFRFRkpY&usg=AOvVaw0qmx9KjcWw3OieJLLdKhii) ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2018, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/78 "2018-03-08T19:40:25Z")
Just wanted to point out that “desire timely egress” would make a good title for a biography on a dating site. Makes the reader think, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [March 8, 2018, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/79 "2018-03-08T19:56:15Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > You also could have just kept loudly saying, “BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!”, until the bottleneck cleared and the line began to move. > > … Actually, it’s [JOE PESCI VOICE} “BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! move you muddafukers.” [/End voice} ---
**Author:** ![Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spectre_of_pithecanthropus/32/12343_2.png) [@Spectre\_of\_Pithecanthropus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spectre_of_Pithecanthropus)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2018, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027/80 "2018-03-10T00:49:04Z")
> [@Red\_Wiggler](#): > > “We’ve all got places to go! We’ve all got places to go!” For some reason the Oceanside CA rail station is frequently infested with dawdlers, saunterers, and mosey-ers. Not long ago I had just gotten off a Coaster train at Oceanside, and had to make the next Sprinter in the next minute and a half. And on the narrow-ish walkway, it seemed like most people ahead of me were just strolling and sauntering, without a care in the world, in particular whether anyone behind them wants to make the next train to Escondido instead of waiting another half hour. I made it by a hair, but only because the conductor was helping a passenger in a wheelchair. Come to think of it, though, it’s probably unfair to blame the crowd for the inadequacy of the walkway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-im-the-jerk-for-desiring-timely-egress/810027.md?page=3)