# So, is your pet Rapture-ready? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 5, 2010, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718 "2010-01-05T04:02:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/1 "2010-01-05T04:02:26Z")
According to most Rapture theorists, when the Rapture comes, only people get called by Jesus - their pets, no matter how dedicated to their owners, get Left Behind. So, what do you do if you have a beloved pet, but you’re pretty sure that when the Rapture comes, you’re there? Do you leave your pet to fend for itself, in the chaos of the post-Rapture eeevilness? How can you think of little Fido being exposed to all that moral instability? Why, you call up the local franchise of friendly atheists who have started a business to look after un-Raptured pets. After all, as atheists, they know that they’ll definitely be left behind: > [@](#): > > That’s where Bart Centre - pet lover and atheist - comes in. For $110 (U.S.), he and his network of pet rescuers, confirmed atheists all, will go to your house in the event of the Rapture, rescue your dog, cat or other pet, and care for it for the rest of its life or until the end of the world, whichever comes first. > > The idea for his business, Eternal Earthbound Pets, began as a joke between friends, but Mr. Centre says he recognized a business opportunity and is now dead serious. > > He just signed up his 100th client Only hitch - you have to pay them in advance. [It’s the Rapture: What to do when Rover can’t come over?](http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/its-the-rapture-what-to-do-when-rover-cant-come-over/article1417823/) ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/2 "2010-01-05T05:24:52Z")
Cripes, why can’t I come up with business ideas like this? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/3 "2010-01-05T05:31:51Z")
Cool. Our church actually does a “pet blessing” on [St. Francis’s](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frances_of_Assisi) feast day. My dad takes the dog up every year. So technically, she’s been baptized. And best of all, it’s FREE. (But um, I don’t know if it would count for the Rapture. Would it?) (We used to take my cat when I was little. I remember one year one of my classmates even brought her horse!) ---
**Author:** ![Reepicheep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@Reepicheep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reepicheep)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/4 "2010-01-05T05:48:03Z")
We do the blessing of the pets also on St. Francis’s Day. We had 9 dogs, 5 cats, 3 hampsters, 1 iguana, 1 horse and 1 goat this year. Since my church doesn’t believe in the rapture (I’ve been told that besides going to hell because we worship idols, we are wrong because we are post-trib too), I don’t know how well our dear pets will fare. I’m planning on dying in the next 75 years and I rather think Nekko and Sorbet will go much before that. Guess the entrepreneurial atheists won’t make the $110 for those two cats. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/5 "2010-01-05T05:59:35Z")
What if I won’t go to any heaven that doesn’t allow dogs, like that Twilight Zone episode? ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/6 "2010-01-05T13:52:31Z")
Bah, no self-respecting fundie would leave their pets with some … _sputter_ ATHIEST! That being said, I was wanting to comment on a History Channel special/series I saw a few months ago about what the world would be like without people (they’re presupposing a sudden dissappearance of the human race, without really going into specifics), the episodes dealing with the first few days/weeks after humanity’s departure talk about what would happen to the pets left, not a pretty sight - however the article mentions Alan Weisman’s book, which seems to cover that very well. ---
**Author:** ![Junkman209](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/junkman209/32/5522_2.png) [@Junkman209](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Junkman209)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/7 "2010-01-05T19:29:20Z")
My pet Raptor has been ready for a long time. Eons. ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/8 "2010-01-05T19:38:26Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Cool. > > Our church actually does a “pet blessing” on [St. Francis’s](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frances_of_Assisi) feast day. My dad takes the dog up every year. So technically, she’s been baptized. And best of all, it’s FREE. (But um, I don’t know if it would count for the Rapture. Would it?) > > (We used to take my cat when I was little. I remember one year one of my classmates even brought her horse!) Do they do exorcisms too? 'Cause I have a Pug/Beagle who I’m pretty sure is possessed. I haven’t actually found the 666 mark, but… ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/9 "2010-01-05T19:43:05Z")
> [@dhkendall](#): > > . . . the episodes dealing with the first few days/weeks after humanity’s departure talk about what would happen to the pets left, not a pretty sight - however the article mentions Alan Weisman’s book, which seems to cover that very well. My lawn service elected to stop mowing an obscure corner of my lawn some time last July. I’d been out there in mid-June, so it couldn’t have been more than six weeks before I noticed and corrected the problem. In that time the weeds had already grown up above my head, and a group of various rodents (from mice to rabbits and [shudder] in between) had moved in. Also moving into the territory were two feral cats, who have continued to thrive even after the mowing recommenced. Conclusion: nature will do just fine, as long as it’s not locked in the house. My fish though, they’ll die a slow icky death. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Doctor\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Who)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/10 "2010-01-05T19:43:07Z")
> [@Katriona](#): > > Do they do exorcisms too? 'Cause I have a Pug/Beagle who I’m pretty sure is possessed. I haven’t actually found the 666 mark, but… I’ve got a pug/beagle too. Puggle if you must. I don’t think they are possessed so much as they are an actual sign we are in the end times… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/11 "2010-01-05T19:47:29Z")
I know this is a light-hearted thread (and it should be) but I do want to point out that pet blessings (which are not uncommon) are not the same as pet baptisms (which I have never heard of). The Church blesses all kinds of things (buildings, land, _your lunch_) which are not expected to enjoy life everlasting. Carry on! ---
**Author:** ![Katriona](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/katriona/32/113_2.png) [@Katriona](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Katriona)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/12 "2010-01-05T19:49:20Z")
> [@Doctor\_Who](#): > > I’ve got a pug/beagle too. Puggle if you must. I don’t think they are possessed so much as they are an actual sign we are in the end times… 🙂 Good to know it’s not just ours! We’ve started to wonder if it’s just something about us that makes them crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/13 "2010-01-05T19:54:12Z")
> [@dhkendall](#): > > Bah, no self-respecting fundie would leave their pets with some … _sputter_ ATHIEST! Would they prefer a Jew? I might be able to work something out with them… I think any heaven that doesn’t allow my cats in is actually hell. ---
**Author:** ![anu-la1979](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/47e85d/32.png) [@anu-la1979](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anu-la1979)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/14 "2010-01-05T19:55:23Z")
Actually, I’m pretty certain that my cat is getting Raptured and I’m the one being Left Behind Kirk-Cameron-style. Won’t someone start a business to take care of us hell-bound furparents? ---
**Author:** ![Surly\_Chick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Surly\_Chick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surly_Chick)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/15 "2010-01-05T19:56:31Z")
Just another reason why I’m not a member. I don’t want to go to a heaven with no animals! ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/16 "2010-01-05T20:01:46Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > What if I won’t go to any heaven that doesn’t allow dogs, like that Twilight Zone episode? That was the Other Guys, not heaven. Watch your ass. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/17 "2010-01-05T20:08:35Z")
I’d like to know how unhappy clients will be able to sue if services are not provided? Will heaven give temporary passes to go back to earth to take care of business? ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/18 "2010-01-05T20:09:04Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > The Church blesses all kinds of things (buildings, land, _your lunch_) which are not expected to enjoy life everlasting. I don’t know about that. “Life everlasting” could easily mean ghosts, and that microwave burrito I had for lunch yesterday certainly came back to haunt me. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/19 "2010-01-05T20:14:28Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Will heaven give temporary passes to go back to earth to take care of business? All the lawyers will still be here… ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718/20 "2010-01-05T20:22:19Z")
We have two dogs. One is a sinner, the other a heathen. THEY WILL BUUUUURRRRRNNNNN!!! But, they both kinda like warmth. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-is-your-pet-rapture-ready/523718.md?page=2)