# So I've been disowned... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 22, 2004, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076 "2004-11-22T07:13:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/1 "2004-11-22T07:13:27Z")
Which was a bit of a surprise. I asked out of the family trust I’m in because the letters from the government saying I’m late in paying “my” tax were making me very uncomfortable. This morning I got a cc’d e-mail from my mum to her accountant taking me out of the trust, out of her will, out of the house by the end of the year, and in her words “out of the family.” Nice to know I was nothing more than a tax break. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/2 "2004-11-22T07:27:24Z")
I’m so sorry. I hope someday, somehow, you can work things out. As a parent, and as a member of a family that has differences but manages to get along, I can’t imagine doing that. I don’t know what to say, except I’m sorry this happened. I am flabbergasted and sad. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/3 "2004-11-22T07:28:36Z")
What?!? I am a little confused (not a new experience for me ;)). Could you fill in some of the blanks? How exactly did this transpire? What kind of trouble have you had with your family before this? Did you in any way anticipate this? Huh? ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/4 "2004-11-22T07:34:27Z")
I’m sorry, **goldfish**. I was kicked out of home last year for being bisexual so I know how you feel. It’s a horrible feeling and not one I’d wish on my worst enemy. I hope things turn out for you. I don’t pray but I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/5 "2004-11-22T07:45:41Z")
So your silver spoon got ripped out of your mouth because you think you are too good to pay taxes? And I’m supposed to be sorry for you because… ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/6 "2004-11-22T07:55:15Z")
That’s astounding, **silent**. I can’t imagine your relationship with your mom was very good before this, but still… I can’t even imagine how you must feel. Wish I could do something more constructive than offer you my good wishes, but that’s all I got. They’re yours if you want them. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/7 "2004-11-22T07:58:15Z")
> [@if6was9](#): > > So your silver spoon got ripped out of your mouth because you think you are too good to pay taxes? And I’m supposed to be sorry for you because… Noo… I’m quite happy to pay my own taxes. A family trust means part of my mum’s tax burden is offloaded onto me. When she’s lax in paying I’m the one who gets the letters from the govt wanting to know why… and that was making me increasingly uncomfortable. The good news is that I’m might get a tax return finally! ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/8 "2004-11-22T07:59:58Z")
See, the funny thing is I’ve always thought I’ve had a good relationship with my mum. Heck, I spent the last two weeks taking care of her when I wasn’t at prac because her trigeminal neuralgia was flaring up. So I’m a bit blindsided… ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/9 "2004-11-22T08:04:21Z")
You asked to removed from a decent trust because tax due form letters were making you _“uncomfortable”_? You’re joking? That’s sounds implausible, and quite frankly just plain retarded on your part. There’s got to be more to the story. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 8:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/10 "2004-11-22T08:05:02Z")
> [@Silentgoldfish](#): > > A family trust means part of my mum’s tax burden is offloaded onto me. A family trust also means there is a pile of money owed to you. And you’re whining about the gov’t. taking part of it. Boo-fucking-hoo. Try living paycheck-to-paycheck like the rest of us… ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/11 "2004-11-22T08:08:39Z")
> [@if6was9](#): > > A family trust also means there is a pile of money owed to you. And you’re whining about the gov’t. taking part of it. Boo-fucking-hoo. Try living paycheck-to-paycheck like the rest of us… Oh, stop it. You sound very bitter because someone else might be doing better than you financially. This has nothing to do with you, or me, or anyone else, or how much money we make, or don’t make. I’m a little confused about the whole story here too, but it seems like the main issue is that silentgoldfish’s mom has written him off. That’s very sad. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/12 "2004-11-22T08:11:44Z")
> [@if6was9](#): > > A family trust also means there is a pile of money owed to you. And you’re whining about the gov’t. taking part of it. Boo-fucking-hoo. Try living paycheck-to-paycheck like the rest of us… Have you noticed the OP’s location? Australia may not have the same tax laws as the US. Back up a few steps and find out what the deal is. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/13 "2004-11-22T08:14:05Z")
> [@yosemite](#): > > Oh, stop it. You sound very bitter because someone else might be doing better than you financially. This has nothing to do with you, or me, or anyone else, or how much money we make, or don’t make. > > I’m a little confused about the whole story here too, but it seems like the main issue is that silentgoldfish’s mom has written him off. That’s very sad. You’re right. I AM bitter that I don’t have a more comfortable station in life. But I’m NOT going to listen to someone whine about paying a SMALL percentage of that in taxes. Like I said, boo-fucking-hoo. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/14 "2004-11-22T08:14:43Z")
> [@astro](#): > > You asked to removed from a decent trust because tax due form letters were making you _“uncomfortable”_? You’re joking? That’s sounds implausible, and quite frankly just plain retarded on your part. There’s got to be more to the story. Well, maybe it works differently, or maybe I was being stupid, but from where I was sitting I went from getting a 1500 dollar tax return one year (don’t earn much and am a full time student) to getting letters from the govt every few months demanding more money and no tax return. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/15 "2004-11-22T08:15:41Z")
> [@if6was9](#): > > So your silver spoon got ripped out of your mouth because you think you are too good to pay taxes? And I’m supposed to be sorry for you because… Ya know, I’m going one step further and getting a little rant out. It’s one thing for me to have my mother die before seeing grandchildren, or major success for her children. It’s another for someone to have a mother still alive that doesn’t want anything to do with them by choice. Fuck it, too much emotion to add anything to this thread, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/16 "2004-11-22T08:19:56Z")
> [@duffer](#): > > Ya know, I’m going one step further and getting a little rant out. It’s one thing for me to have my mother die before seeing grandchildren, or major success for her children. It’s another for someone to have a mother still alive that doesn’t want anything to do with them by choice. > > Fuck it, too much emotion to add anything to this thread, I guess. _sigh_ I’m not exactly sure what you mean, **Duffer** , but I am sick and tired too! This used to be such great board. Fuck it! PC central now… see y’all! ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/17 "2004-11-22T08:20:00Z")
> [@if6was9](#): > > You’re right. I AM bitter that I don’t have a more comfortable station in life. And so you’re going to take it out on a stranger who hasn’t done anything to you, and certainly holds no responsibility for your financial situation? You know that this makes you an asshole, right? > [@](#): > > But I’m NOT going to listen to someone whine about paying a SMALL percentage of that in taxes. Like I said, boo-fucking-hoo. Just walk away. Don’t shit on his (or her) thread. There’s no need. So you can’t relate. Deal with it quietly, and don’t be an ass. And besides, don’t you think that the sad issue of the family disowning him/her sort of overshadows your bitter jealousy and pettiness because someone you don’t even know maybe makes more money than you? ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 8:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/18 "2004-11-22T08:29:24Z")
> [@Silentgoldfish](#): > > Well, maybe it works differently, or maybe I was being stupid, but from where I was sitting I went from getting a 1500 dollar tax return one year (don’t earn much and am a full time student) to getting letters from the govt every few months demanding more money and no tax return. So what is the expected net value of the trust to you in exchange for not getting your expected $ 1500 tax refund? How big is the trust, and what is your portion? ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/19 "2004-11-22T08:32:59Z")
Ok, to back up a bit here, what exactly is a family trust in Australia? And FTR, I’m very sorry to hear about this, **Silentgoldfish**. It sounds strange that she’d cut you off from the family so suddenly. Do you think her illness might be affecting her judgement or causing to react more harshly than she normally would? ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2004, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076/20 "2004-11-22T08:47:53Z")
> [@if6was9](#): > > But I’m NOT going to listen to someone whine about paying a SMALL percentage of that in taxes. Which he (she?) wasn’t. The OP was posting about being disowned by his family. > [@](#): > > I AM bitter That’s for sure. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-been-disowned/276076.md?page=2)