# So, I've crossed the line into metrosexuality... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 24, 2004, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955 "2004-06-24T04:39:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/1 "2004-06-24T04:39:26Z")
On our recent holiday, the Beloved wanted to go to a spa one morning for a massage and pedicure. My normal male instincts kicked in, and I said I’d wander around town and come back. She said, “why not have a massage for your sore shoulder? and while you’re at it, have a pedicure, since they massage your feet, and we’ve been walking around a lot.” I said “Me?” She said, “Come on, it’ll be fun.” [aside - I share P.G. Wodehouse’s view that anytime the female of the species says that something “will be fun”, the male of the species should automatically go on high alert.] So, you know where this ended up. I now have immaculately trimmed toenails (the young lady brought out the big clippers for my heavy duty male toenails, which the Beloved told me _she’d_ never needed.) All callouses have been smoothed off, my toe cuticles are nice and tidy. But the foot massage, that was the hook to get me in there, wasn’t very good. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/2 "2004-06-24T05:15:00Z")
You’re not truly a metrosexual until there is waxing. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/3 "2004-06-24T05:36:21Z")
But the important thing is - did you get laid? The Official Guy Code will excuse almost anything, no matter how questionable it might be otherwise, if it’s in furtherance of getting laid. That, or if you’re settling a bet. ---
**Author:** ![dnooman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/839c29/32.png) [@dnooman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dnooman)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/4 "2004-06-24T05:36:31Z")
Don’t encourage the boy! Soon he’ll be getting weekly manicures. Drinking white wine. Patronizing theatre. Watching too much Cristopher Lowell. Pedicures are a gateway treatment! ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/5 "2004-06-24T06:03:45Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > You’re not truly a metrosexual until there is waxing. Gawd, no! not after reading [this post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=4801196#post4801196). :eek: :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/6 "2004-06-24T06:07:46Z")
> [@dnooman](#): > > Don’t encourage the boy! > Soon he’ll be getting weekly manicures. Drinking white wine. **Patronizing theatre.** Watching too much Cristopher Lowell. Pedicures are a gateway treatment! Too late for that. This all occurred at Stratford. In addition to [Timon of Athens](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=263205), we saw “Guys & Dolls” _and_ “Anything Goes.” ---
**Author:** ![START](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@START](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/START)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/7 "2004-06-24T06:58:25Z")
Embrace your metrosexuality…as soon as I’m old enough to stop skateboarding and wearing pants that sag I’m going straight to metrosexuality…seriously because when I’m older I’d like to attract a woman who has got something going on. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/8 "2004-06-24T07:21:10Z")
Wow. Never realized how lucky I am in my marriage selection. 2 months ago I got my wife a full day spa treatment. In return, she bought me an 18 hole greens fee in Reno. With explicit instructions to buy a 12 pack of Lite and cart rental. She had to drive back to the hotel as my knuckles were raw from all the dragging. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/9 "2004-06-24T10:27:40Z")
> [@Northern Piper](#): > > Too late for that. This all occurred at Stratford. In addition to [Timon of Athens](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=263205), we saw “Guys & Dolls” _and_ “Anything Goes.” Wow, you may have run into my parents without even knowing it. They go to the Stratford Festival every year. They keep threatening to drag me along but circumstances never seem to permit. ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/10 "2004-06-24T11:04:52Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > You’re not truly a metrosexual until there is waxing. You mean I’m metrosexual? Hmmmmm, well I guess that’s not too bad. Thanks for the heads-up **Otto** ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/11 "2004-06-24T14:37:39Z")
Yes, but you’re a do-it-yourselfer guy, which sort of runs against the metrosexual image! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/12 "2004-06-24T14:39:12Z")
So I’m not metrosexual?? What am I then?? I’m so confused. If you need me I’ll be in this closet. 😛😃 ---
**Author:** ![a35362](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@a35362](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/a35362)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/13 "2004-06-24T17:17:46Z")
:dubious: Where do I get a copy of the “Official Guy Code”? I wanna see this. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/14 "2004-06-24T17:39:24Z")
> [@Otto](#): > > You’re not truly a metrosexual until there is waxing. Metrosochist? ---
**Author:** ![Balle\_M](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/13edae/32.png) [@Balle\_M](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balle_M)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/15 "2004-06-24T19:06:27Z")
> [@a35362](#): > > :dubious: Where do I get a copy of the “Official Guy Code”? I wanna see this. Try here: [http://www.garagelogic.com/saretrosexual.htm](http://www.garagelogic.com/saretrosexual.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Pyrrhonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/919ad9/32.png) [@Pyrrhonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyrrhonist)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/16 "2004-06-24T19:15:13Z")
The Horror! The Horror! Don’t be a fop. Don’t be a dandy. Don’t use the ”M—” word! Fortunately, I’m officially not one of _Them_. A single, early thirties babe, my sister-in-law, told me, “You’re just not a M—” Long story. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/17 "2004-06-25T16:08:04Z")
> [@](#): > > Where do I get a copy of the “Official Guy Code”? I wanna see this. Same as every other guy. I was issued one in shop class back in high school. ---
**Author:** ![Bongmaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Bongmaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bongmaster)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/18 "2004-06-25T16:36:51Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#): > > Same as every other guy. I was issued one in shop class back in high school. If you didn’t get one you may be eligible for remedial classes…if its not too late already. ---
**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/19 "2004-06-25T17:00:46Z")
**Northern** , somehow I can’t imagine that a one trip to a spa is going to turn _you_ into a metrosexual. No other symptoms, are there? Subscribing to GQ? Buying cologne insead of wearing whatever Beloved gives you as a present? Planning your constitutional law conferences around getting to Vancouver, not Ottawa? Oh, and hijacking…you were as close to TO as Stratford, and you didn’t give a call? ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2004, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955/20 "2004-06-25T21:20:11Z")
It’s been awhile since I’ve written any VB so I’m pretty rusty but I’m gonna give this a shot. I’m feeling particularly geeky today for some reason. This is the best metrosexual indicator I’ve seen so far. Ask a guy what he puts in his hair. ```auto Sub Do If Candidate() replies "product" Then GoTo Metrosexuality Else Loop End Sub ``` Did I do that right? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-crossed-the-line-into-metrosexuality/251955.md?page=2)