# So I've decided to run for pope **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 12, 2013, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736 "2013-03-12T18:10:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/21 "2013-03-12T19:52:44Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > “VOTE! Lendervedder! He hasn’t molested any children…yet…that we know of.” Well, it’s a start, but maybe something a \*little \*stronger in the area of me not having molested any children, nor any desire to. I think we want people to really, really know where I stand on that. Something like “Vote Lendervedder! He HATES molesting children.” Wait, that doesn’t sound quite right. We can tinker… ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/22 "2013-03-12T19:54:40Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “… and he’s still celibate. As far as we know”. 😉 Well actually, about that…I have this smoking hot wife that I like to bang on a pretty regular basis, so I was hoping we could work \*that \*to our advantage in a slogan somehow. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/23 "2013-03-12T19:57:15Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Well actually, about that…I have this smoking hot wife that I like to bang on a pretty regular basis, so I was hoping we could work \*that \*to our advantage in a slogan somehow. I’m thinking a “stolen and leaked to the media” sex tape. It’s made plenty of people famous. ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/24 "2013-03-12T20:06:46Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > “… and he’s still celibate. As far as we know”. 😉 and he’s probably male! (Has anyone checked all the cardinals?) ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/25 "2013-03-12T20:09:48Z")
Frankly Happy, I’d much rather see you busy as the Pope than hanging out here. You have my unqualified support for the position. I will contact all the cardinals who owe me favors and instruct them to vote for you. Best of luck. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/26 "2013-03-12T20:35:12Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Frankly Happy, I’d much rather see you busy as the Pope than hanging out here. You have my unqualified support for the position. I will contact all the cardinals who owe me favors and instruct them to vote for you. Best of luck. Bless you my child. On your death bed you will receive total unconsciousness. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/27 "2013-03-12T20:37:02Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > I’m thinking a “stolen and leaked to the media” sex tape. It’s made plenty of people famous. I’m working on it vigorously as we speak. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/28 "2013-03-12T20:38:06Z")
> [@Canadjun](#): > > and he’s probably male! That’s a really good point and will be made absolutely clear once this campaign sex video is released. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/29 "2013-03-12T20:42:10Z")
Slogans: “Not gonna quit this time!” “The Pope from The Dope!” “Pope Happy!” Really, it just sells itself. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/30 "2013-03-12T20:46:41Z")
OOOH! I like “The Pope From The Dope!” It infers Happy is endorsed by The Perfect Master Himself. That’s the kind of endorsement this campaign needs. Also, instead of a cocktail party might I suggest a kegger? I’ll supply the red Solo[sup]TM[/sup] cups. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/31 "2013-03-12T20:50:41Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > OOOH! I like “The Pope From The Dope!” It infers Happy is endorsed by The Perfect Master Himself. That’s the kind of endorsement this campaign needs. > > Also, instead of a cocktail party might I suggest a kegger? I’ll supply the red Solo[sup]TM[/sup] cups. Awesome idea. How about we throw bingo into the mix. I have to really show I can act Catholic. “Pope from the Dope.” Spectacular. From the lips of angels. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/32 "2013-03-12T20:59:42Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Awesome idea. How about we throw bingo into the mix. I have to really show I can act Catholic. > “Pope from the Dope.” Spectacular. From the lips of angels. Keep it short and simple. “Pope Lendervedder: Probably male!” ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/33 "2013-03-12T21:03:35Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > If that’s defined through maternal lineage, I’m golden. Sorry…gotta be baptized Catholic. But you can come up with something around that, right? Best bet is to break into the Vatican, knock out the bus driver that shuttles them between their sleeping quarters and the Sistine Chapel, dress as him, then, when they’re all loaded…stop the bus and plead your case. About your only shot left. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/34 "2013-03-12T21:07:45Z")
Happy, I just asked my husband (who IS Catholic - I am not) what he thought. He said he’d definitely support this effort, once he knows what your Pope name will be. He doesn’t want it to be something long with lots of numbers and stuff - he said something like Pope Bob the I would be good. Not too confusing, sounds approachable and stuff. What are you thinkin’ of for a name? ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/35 "2013-03-12T21:08:13Z")
You are a cinch to win! You’ll know because instead of black or white smoke there will be blue flame. Just wait, and watch! ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/36 "2013-03-12T21:09:23Z")
The job has now been listed on[Linkedin](http://mashable.com/2013/03/11/pope-linkedin/). Please submit your resume today. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/37 "2013-03-12T21:20:20Z")
Well, I am baptized, but Protestant. I was thinking “Pope Calvin.” Or, to honor a philosopher that I spend a lot of time reading, “Pope Internet.” Or maybe give the conspiracy theorists a thrill and go with “Pope Peter II.” ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/38 "2013-03-12T21:22:35Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#): > > Well, I am baptized, but Protestant. I was thinking “Pope Calvin.” Or, to honor a philosopher that I spend a lot of time reading, “Pope Internet.” Or maybe give the conspiracy theorists a thrill and go with “Pope Peter II.” Any of those works for him, he says. Now he wants to know how can we get a bumper sticker to support your campaign? ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/39 "2013-03-12T21:22:37Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > The job has now been listed on[Linkedin](http://mashable.com/2013/03/11/pope-linkedin/). Please submit your resume today. It doesn’t say whom I should address in the cover letter. I hate using generic terms like “Papal headhunter.” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2013, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736/40 "2013-03-12T21:26:38Z")
> [@Missy2U](#): > > Any of those works for him, he says. Now he wants to know how can we get a bumper sticker to support your campaign? Cafe Press! I don’t have anything official designed, but I hear they got a really great do-it-yourself thing going there. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-run-for-pope/652736.md?page=3)