# So, I've decided to win the lottery next week . . . **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 14, 2002, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-win-the-lottery-next-week/123792 "2002-08-14T03:35:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-win-the-lottery-next-week/123792/1 "2002-08-14T03:35:45Z")
Yep. You read right. I’ve decided to win the lottery next week. Nothing huge by PowerBall standards, but I figure a cool $14.2 million (lump sum) would be a good start. And before you ask, I ain’t tellin’ ya my lucky numbers, lest I have to share it with you. So, I’m thinkin’ about all the cool things I could do with a couple of extra bucks: [list=1] [li]Buy a yacht, and go for a three hour tour. I’d take a few comic Dopers for a supporting cast, just in case.[/li][li]Charter a flight to fly across the US & Canada, pick up Dopers in each major town, and fly 'em to a _MegaSuperHugeDopefest-O-Rama_. All expenses paid, all the sushi you can eat.[/li][li]I’d still go to work. You may have all the money in the world, but I’d rather fly to Afghanistan for free.[/li][li]I’m going to build a kickass house on a huge ranch in Arizona for the aforementioned Dopefest. Party as hard as you want, nobody’ll be around to care. Just don’t pass out on the cactus.[/li][li]I would donate a couple of bucks to the New Jersey Devils, just so they can have a good season, beat the Avalanche, and seriously piss off **Mr. Cynical** , because I want a Goddamn t-shirt of my own.[/li][/list=1] I figured I’d start there. That’s all I can think of right now. . . Tripler You won’t need first class. My chartered flight has free drinks for everyone. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-win-the-lottery-next-week/123792/2 "2002-08-14T11:18:50Z")
I can see you setting sail from Arizona on your three hour tour. Obviously you’d be the millionaire, who’d be the other characters. (My advise, skip Ginger and take Maryann _and_ Bailey) ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-win-the-lottery-next-week/123792/3 "2002-08-14T12:20:24Z")
Funny you should mention this. The Florida Lottery is $15M for tonight’s drawing, and I think it’s got my name on it. I’ve already got a boat, but it’s not all that big, so I’d charter a big 'un for a Floating DopeFest. Then I’d send plane tickets to all who wanted to attend [sub]no trolls[/sub] and hire the biggest Polka Band I could find!! OK, I’m kidding about the Polka band. And I promise to leave my accordion at home. So start packing - the drawing is tonight. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-win-the-lottery-next-week/123792/4 "2002-08-14T12:38:32Z")
awwwww **FairyChatMom** hire the Polka Band! We could all sing along to “Beer Barrel Polka.” I know that one real good too. **EVERYBODY POLKA!!!** ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-win-the-lottery-next-week/123792/5 "2002-08-14T16:13:48Z")
Sorry, Trip, you can’t have it. After **I** win it, however, I’d be more than happy to send you a first-class ticket to visit me in my new villa in the Andalusian area of Spain 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-win-the-lottery-next-week/123792/6 "2002-08-14T18:40:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by chique \* > \*\*Sorry, Trip, you can’t have it. After **I** win it, however, I’d be more than happy to send you a first-class ticket to visit me in my new villa in the Andalusian area of Spain 😃 \*\* No, **chique** , you don’t get it. This is _my_ thread, _my_ illusion, thus, _my_ $14.2 million. However, if we were to win different, independent jackpots at the same time, why hell, we should throw an _ÜberMassiveGrandMegaSuperHugeDopefest-O-Rama_! $78,000 in beer alone? Sure! Why not?!? 😃 Tripler Andalusia? Feh . . . ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-win-the-lottery-next-week/123792/7 "2002-08-14T21:49:12Z")
The Polka band must be [Brave Combo](http://www.brave.com/bo/) ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-win-the-lottery-next-week/123792/8 "2002-08-14T21:50:13Z")
\*\*ÜberMassiveGrandMegaSuperHugeDopefest-O-Rama! \*\* You shoulda TM’d this, now everybody and his hamster are going to crib this from you. Anywhoooo, since Mr. Ujest was (-----------------) close to winning $640,000 on the half dollar slots at an indian reservation casino this past weekend, we spent the rest of the drive home in a haze of “Boy, thatta been nice…” I pretty much convinced him that if we’d won to a vow of secrecy and we would continue to live in our modest white bread lifestyle but with a) no money worries b) no beggars showing up at our door that we haven’t seen in 15 years and, this is the important part c) make people think that the reason why our modest little house has geothermal heating/cooling, flat screen TV, etc and we’ve both suddenly lost alot of weight after a ‘vacation’ and the kids are in designer togs and attending the $15k a year uber prep school in the area is because Mr. Ujest and I manage our money well and make smart investing decisions. It will drive them nuts. Instead of winning, we didn’t lose what we took in, which was $7. We came out with $13. However, the Big Game or Megamillions is up to $68 million. I think I can dip into the kids college fund for that one 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-win-the-lottery-next-week/123792/9 "2002-08-14T23:08:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*\*\*ÜberMassiveGrandMegaSuperHugeDopefest-O-Rama! \*\* > > You shoulda TM’d this . . . \*\* Good Call. [Cheezy Gameshow Announcer Voice] Yes, ladies and gentlemen, now you too can practice for the _ÜberMassiveGrandMegaSuperHugeDopefest-O-Rama_™! Simply head to your nearest _Dopefest_, show your face, meet some other Dopers, and revell in the livatious atmosphere! Before you know it, you too can be versed enough to attend the upcoming _ÜberMassiveGrandMegaSuperHugeDopefest-O-Rama_™! Start today! [/Cheezy Gameshow Announcer Voice] While I’m at it, I’ll even throw in a tip for my new TripCo Ltd. product line of _Do-It-Yourself Third World Coup D’etat Kits_™ [sub]Now complete with little red bandanas[/sub]! from TripCo Ltd.: Makers of fine sociopolitical gifts for the whole family! And, just to cover the square, I end with my sig block, that I rarely use, but simply reeks of legalese. Tripler But I agree with **Shirley** : I won’t change my lifestyle at all. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-win-the-lottery-next-week/123792/10 "2002-08-14T23:10:04Z")
Damn. :mad: Preview. . . ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-win-the-lottery-next-week/123792/11 "2002-08-14T23:56:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tripler \* > **$78,000 in beer alone? Sure! Why not?!? 😃** Wow…I didn’t know you thought that small!! :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-win-the-lottery-next-week/123792/12 "2002-08-15T00:39:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by chique \* > \*\*Wow…I didn’t know you thought that small!! :eek: \*\* I think that’s all most distributors usually carry. We’ll have to call around and get other places ready . . . Tripler And now, the sig I wanted to post 2 posts ago . . . ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-win-the-lottery-next-week/123792/13 "2002-08-15T00:56:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by chique \* > \*\*Wow…I didn’t know you thought that small!! :eek: \*\* \*\* Chique, \*\* ``` I think that was per head... ``` ---
**Author:** ![Hattrick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/34f0e0/32.png) [@Hattrick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hattrick)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-win-the-lottery-next-week/123792/14 "2002-08-15T12:33:38Z")
::Phone Rings:: Hello AFES Class six how may I help you. Me: ugh I need to fill a C-5 with beer… the Doper loadies are thirsty AFES Gal: ummm I’m sorry trip has already been in here, and cleared us out. Me: Elmindorf, Hickam, Incirlik, Dover… how does he always get there a day before me!!! Hattrick… former Bringer of Kodak via a T37 ---
**Author:** ![dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorkusmalorkusmafia/32/7266_2.png) [@dorkusmalorkusmafia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dorkusmalorkusmafia)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-win-the-lottery-next-week/123792/15 "2002-08-15T13:55:55Z")
I think I know Tripler’s secret number combo. Psst, don’t tell anyone but it is 1, 2, 3, 4, , and 5 with the Powerball number being 6. Shhh. Now we can all share in the wealth. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-ive-decided-to-win-the-lottery-next-week/123792/16 "2002-08-15T15:00:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dorkusmalorkusmafia \* > \*\*I think I know Tripler’s secret number combo. Psst, don’t tell anyone but it is 1, 2, 3, 4, , and 5 with the Powerball number being 6. Shhh. Now we can all share in the wealth. \*\* Dammit. That’s the combination on my luggage locks. :smack: Tripler But it ain’t my lucky numbers. . .