# So Much Pun! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 6, 2010, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694 "2010-07-06T09:28:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/61 "2010-07-11T13:55:52Z")
I usually despise the long-winded, ridiculously-detailed ‘puns’ that are obviously _written_; I much prefer the brief off-the-cuff pun that arises out of spontaneity and wit. With that said, however, here is one that I allow as an exception: A zookeeper had two gnus. He needed just one. He offered one gnu to a fellow zookeeper, who gladly accepted. However, the one cage he had available was under construction and not yet ready for an animal. Zookeeper #1 says that would be OK, so the gnu is put in an unfinished cage. The next morning, #2 calls #1 and says, 'you won’t believe this. When I checked on my new gnu, he had opened a case of tile that was in the corner and laid out a beautifully-tiled floor for his cage. ‘Oh, I believe it all right,’ said the first zookeeper, 'he’s a typical gnu and tiler too." ---
**Author:** ![Debon\_Err](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ea924/32.png) [@Debon\_Err](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Debon_Err)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/62 "2010-07-11T17:58:09Z")
Inigo and I were watching Dirty Jobs last night on Discovery Channel. The episode featured a camel dairy. One of the things the owners mentioned was that there were too many male camels to the female camels. So I said to Inigo, when the male camels fight over the female camels, it becomes a drama dairy. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/63 "2010-07-11T18:16:18Z")
I came up with a punchline, but never managed to concoct a setup for it. Feel free. “Chiggers can’t be boozers.” Respectfully Submitted, Theophilus Punoval ---
**Author:** ![figure9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@figure9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/figure9)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/64 "2010-07-11T20:24:03Z")
I entered just over 9 puns here, hoping at least one would win the thread. Sadly, no pun in ten did. ---
**Author:** ![KennerTheGreat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/a8b319/32.png) [@KennerTheGreat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KennerTheGreat)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/65 "2010-07-11T21:53:34Z")
A clown moved into an apartment complex for circus performers. It was a beautiful apartment, except it was missing an ironing board. The clown called up the superintendent to complain. The superintendent says “You have to use the windowsill. It’s in your rental agreement…” Every clown has a sill for ironing. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/66 "2010-07-11T23:33:47Z")
Three indian maidens were pregnant. The chief put each in a separate teepee. One sat on a deer skin, the next on a buffalo hide, the third was on a hippopotamus hide. The first 2 had single children . The 3rd had twins. The chief observed" the squaw on the hippopotamus hide is equal the sum of the squaws on other two hides. ’ ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/67 "2010-07-11T23:35:15Z")
In honor of our countries 200th birthday a guy cut the hooves of of 444 buffalo. He had " 1776 bisontoenails". ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2010, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/68 "2010-07-11T23:36:22Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > I usually despise the long-winded, ridiculously-detailed ‘puns’ that are obviously _written_; I much prefer the brief off-the-cuff pun that arises out of spontaneity and wit. > > With that said, however, here is one that I allow as an exception: > > A zookeeper had two gnus. He needed just one. He offered one gnu to a fellow zookeeper, who gladly accepted. However, the one cage he had available was under construction and not yet ready for an animal. Zookeeper #1 says that would be OK, so the gnu is put in an unfinished cage. > > The next morning, #2 calls #1 and says, 'you won’t believe this. When I checked on my new gnu, he had opened a case of tile that was in the corner and laid out a beautifully-tiled floor for his cage. ‘Oh, I believe it all right,’ said the first zookeeper, 'he’s a typical gnu and tiler too." The first zookeeper should have given away both birds. No gnus is good gnus. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/69 "2010-07-12T00:57:52Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > The first zookeeper should have given away both birds. No gnus is good gnus. Is bird part of the pun up there, or am I fighting some [ignorance](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wildebeest)? 😕 > [@KennerTheGreat](#): > > Every clown has a sill for ironing. Anyone wanna explain this one? ---
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/70 "2010-07-12T01:08:17Z")
> [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](#): > > Anyone wanna explain this one? Every cloud has a silver lining. I know, it took me a minute, I was thinking was it irony, something for irony…? ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/71 "2010-07-12T03:45:20Z")
> [@TreacherousCretin](#): > > I came up with a punchline, but never managed to concoct a setup for it. Feel free. > > “Chiggers can’t be boozers.” There actually is a British TV presenter named Kieth Chegwin He is often called “Cheggers” > **[Cheggers Plays Pop (TV Series 1978–1986) ⭐ 6.0 | Family, Game-Show, Music](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0368477/)** > > 25m He is known to be a recovering alcoholic, so … ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/72 "2010-07-12T04:24:19Z")
> [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](#): > > Is bird part of the pun up there, or am I fighting some [ignorance](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wildebeest)? 😕 :smack: It was gnus to me. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/73 "2010-07-12T06:40:35Z")
The Chessmasters’ convention was in town last winter at the downtown hotel. In the evening, they’d all hang out in the lobby and talk about the games they’d won. They were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/74 "2010-07-12T06:59:51Z")
> [@Oakminster](#): > > :smack: > > It was gnus to me. Well, I’ve got some good gnus, and some [bad gnus](http://www.mynewplace.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/good-gnus-and-bad-gnus.jpg)… ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/75 "2010-07-12T07:57:11Z")
Spain \*\*really \*\*had a hard time of it yesterday at the World Cup Final. One might say they had to go down their very own _Villa de la Roja_… Just in case the context is needed:David Villa (pronounced “via”) is Spain’s star player; the Spanish national team is known as “La Furia **Roja** ” (Red Fury) ---
**Author:** ![Acantha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@Acantha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acantha)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/76 "2010-07-12T08:48:48Z")
After an earthquake, a farmer notices all his cows have fallen down, but all the bulls are still standing. Not thinking, he yells at the bulls ‘hey, how come all the cows fell down and you didn’t?’ The nearest bull replies ‘we bulls wobble but we don’t fall down.’ 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/77 "2010-07-12T22:46:25Z")
When they outlaw marriage, only outlaws will have in-laws. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2010, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/78 "2010-07-12T23:05:56Z")
You really can’t have a thread like this without mentioning Flann O’Brien’s [Keats and Chapman stories.](http://books.google.com/books?id=ZDM-mkhdQEQC&pg=PA180&lpg=PA180&dq=keats+and+chapman&source=bl&ots=TjU953tHX4&sig=fhVjtrJDsCXlbY52oluyLsT44EQ&hl=en&ei=ZZ47TOKIKYP6swOElMnbCg&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=7&ved=0CCUQ6AEwBjgU#v=onepage&q=keats%20and%20chapman&f=false) Well, you could, but… ---
**Author:** ![ToborAton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/57b2e6/32.png) [@ToborAton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToborAton)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/79 "2010-07-14T12:29:40Z")
I’ve always considered myself a bit of a punny linguist! ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2010, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694/80 "2010-07-14T16:08:04Z")
Tom Swiftie; This is the best shrimp cocktail i ever had ,said Tom shellfishly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-much-pun/545694.md?page=5)