# So my father's worried I might be gay, and I'm not sure I'll bother to disabuse him of the notion. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 6, 2009, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827 "2009-10-06T17:01:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/41 "2009-10-06T23:54:41Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > I’ve seen my parents ditch relatives for decades for a whole lot less, if they’ve taught me anything is that just because someone is blood doesn’t mean you have to put up with them. Yup. My husband hasn’t spoken to his dad for months now, and frankly both of us are really feeling a lot better as a result. Just because they’re family doesn’t mean they get to be jerks to you. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/42 "2009-10-07T00:04:58Z")
I do “flaming queen” fairly well. I’d just launch into and tell him how fabulous the church was and how scrumptious all the boys were and so on and so on until I fell to the ground convulsing with laughter. Then when I was finally able to stand and breath again, I’d ask “Is that what you’re expecting, dad? Seriously?” And if he said yes, I’d give him a very dark look and say “Give it up. I’m not gay, I’m not going to turn gay.” Followed by some words I’d probably regret. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/43 "2009-10-07T00:55:16Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > From what **Skald** said in the OP, it sounds like his dad might be one of those people who actually believes that people can be converted. Since Skald is going to a GLBT friendly church his father fears (no joke) that he’s literally going to be recruited and “turned.” I gathered that his dad is concerned his ( **Skald’s** ) church puts **Skald** at high risk to “get the gay,” but I thought those same types of churches thought righteous marital lovin’ was the antidote. ---
**Author:** ![Ann\_Onimous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ea5d25/32.png) [@Ann\_Onimous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ann_Onimous)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/44 "2009-10-07T00:58:47Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > If Praying Cures Diabetes and other assorted diseases, then why do we have doctor’s? If prayer cured diabetes, the Neumanns wouldn’t have had anything to worry about. **Skald** , your family makes mine seem pretty darn normal. I know you love them, which makes it even harder. You are a good, decent man. Personally, I’d probably ask if he wanted to meet my girlfriend. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/45 "2009-10-07T01:06:17Z")
> [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](#): > > \*-I live in the Castro, which can require a disclaimer in certain discussions. Wait, so are you, then, a straight man living in the Castro? How is that? How’s the rent there? ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/46 "2009-10-07T01:58:34Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > …snip… > This was irksome. So I stopped making up quadratic equations to solve and said, “Dad, what is bothering you? Are you worried that I’m gay or something?” > > “_Don’t say that word!_” Dad exclaimed. “And yes, I’m worried! You go to that church! Either you’re gay or they’re trying to turn you gay, and either way they’re going to lead you to hell! I don’t want my son going to hell.” > > “Don’t worry,” I said. “I’m not going to hell.” > > “How do you know that?” > > _The same way I know I’m not going to be placed in the sky as the constellation Sardonicus when I die_, I thought. Aloud I said, “I’m not worried about it.” I know he’s your dad and all that, but if you had simply answered , “Because I’m not gay. I loves me some hot poontang wayyy too much. Therefore I’m not gay. And before you ask, we pray while we are bumping bellies. Both of us are yelling, ‘O GOD O JESUS!!’”. That should set him mind at ease. Or not. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/47 "2009-10-07T04:43:25Z")
> [@appleciders](#): > > Wait, so are you, then, a straight man living in the Castro? How is that? How’s the rent there? > [@Giles](#): > > It must be - uh - interesting being in the minority there. I assume that you get hit on from time to time by guys that you are never likely to interested in. Yes, I am a straight male living in the Castro, and I do get some attention once in a while, but not that much, and even then, it’s often half me being cute and half let’s see if the straight guy will squirm. There’s plenty of obviously-gay guys around to capture other young mens’ fancy. Plus I live on the edge of the neighborhood where it’s pretty well mixed (keep in mind even the Castro is only ~41% gay/lesbian), and I don’t go to specifically-gay bars too often (though all the bars in the vicinity are at least a little gay). Rent sucks, but it’s worth it because the neighborhood is fucking awesome. I had a range of blocks I really wanted to find a place in, and I’m three blocks away from the center of that area. I suppose I could start an “Ask the straight Castro resident” thread if there were interest. ---
**Author:** ![movingfinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@movingfinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/movingfinger)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/48 "2009-10-07T05:00:11Z")
“Dad, I took your advice and watched a football game Monday night, and I was amazed! For a forty-year-old man Brett Favre has an extremely good-looking ass.” ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/49 "2009-10-07T05:30:50Z")
**Skald** ’s divorced, IIRC. And after reading that, I’m so, so very very grateful I don’t come from a family of fundies. My parents are fairly liberal Catholics. > [@Captain\_Awesome](#): > > I’m not sure what I’m more disturbed by, irrational homophobia or solving mental quadratic equations for fun. May I use this as a sig, please? > [@lissener](#): > > Tell him you know you’re not gay because you like little girls. 0-10. It’s a damned good thing I was resting my chin on my hand and was able to cover my mouth – I literally did a spit take. ---
**Author:** ![BaneSidhe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@BaneSidhe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaneSidhe)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/50 "2009-10-07T05:56:47Z")
[gives Skald a big 'ol hug first off] I like the suggestion that you tell your dad that you watched a football game and remark on the tightness of the tight ends tight ends! [sorry if that made no sense, I’m really woozy from allergy medicine] ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/51 "2009-10-07T06:29:56Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > The only problem I see in this (rather fun) premise of allowing your father to think you are Gay is that, if you should ever get married or serious with a woman, he will be 100% certain you were “cured” by his power of prayer. But **Skald** ’s already married! Currently getting divorced in fact, I believe. Of course, Daddy Dearest is perfectly liable to decide that the problem was not along the lines of “Kim was uncomfortable and for some reason decided that the reason was the differences in belief between her and Skald,” - it was that Kim had discovered Skald has teh Ghey! Or maybe that she knew it all along and had been trying and trying to cure him but, because she doesn’t go to the Right And Only Church (I think she doesn’t go to DD’s church) it didn’t work. Something like that, he seems to reason along similar lines as my own Mommy Dearest… Or in short, DD will just believe whatever he wanna. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/52 "2009-10-07T10:30:13Z")
So, are you still Ghey and diabetic or what? ---
**Author:** ![Walker\_in\_Eternity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/46a35a/32.png) [@Walker\_in\_Eternity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walker_in_Eternity)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/53 "2009-10-07T10:54:59Z")
> [@Gorgon\_Heap](#): > > Or you could have made peace with him by offering him one of your theater tickets. Yeah, maybe to something by Noel Coward or Oscar Wilde. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/54 "2009-10-07T14:45:34Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > “Dad, line up the best looking women in the congregation. I will screw them until I lose consciousness, and you can videotape it so you can watch it again any time you have doubts.” Or better yet, “Sure I’m straight, Dad. Hell, give me the money for a hooker and I’ll prove it to you right now!” [Offered for amusement purposes only, of course. Not meant as serious advice.] ---
**Author:** ![redtail23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3e96dc/32.png) [@redtail23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/redtail23)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/55 "2009-10-07T15:07:24Z")
> [@Icarus](#): > > If your father is worried you are gay you should tell him that your brother is the one he should really be worried about. Those counselors who claim to fix teh gay are just acting out their own personal psycho-dramas, if you ask me. Perfect solution! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/56 "2009-10-07T15:12:13Z")
> [@Jodi](#): > > But I thought **Skald** _was_ married? Does you Dad just think that’s no indicator of straightness? She left me a while back. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/57 "2009-10-07T15:13:44Z")
> [@Laudenum](#): > > Tbh, then I think you have to tell him the truth. What does Tbh mean? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/58 "2009-10-07T15:17:20Z")
> [@Rushgeekgirl](#): > > I completely understand. > > This reminds me of when my childhood friend heard I’d tried Church on the River (UU) and told me I shouldn’t go there because it’s a Devil’s Church. > > I love First Congo. It’s a wonderfully loving, giving church and I’d still be going there if I was still a Christian. Despite all the good things they do I’m pretty sure the majority of Memphians know it as the gay church. Do you recall how Cheryl Cornish, the pastor, used to joke that she was the most frequently outed straight person in Memphis? I’m pretty sure this is still ongoing for her even though she herself finally got married. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/59 "2009-10-07T15:22:05Z")
Kym the Rhymer left **Skald**? When did that happen? I’m so sorry to hear that, **Skald**. In terms of your dad - good luck with that. I have a father deeply involved with evangelical missionary groups (although he’s a member of the Presbyterian Church, a relatively calm and level-headed theology), and we just don’t talk about my going to hell for being Wiccan. ---
**Author:** ![Jodi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@Jodi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jodi)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2009, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827/60 "2009-10-07T15:30:26Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > She left me a while back. Sorry to bring it up. I didn’t know. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-fathers-worried-i-might-be-gay-and-im-not-sure-ill-bother-to-disabuse-him-of-the-notion/512827.md?page=4)