# So my wife is a Gorgon, now what do I do?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [March 27, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523 "2003-03-27T14:39:04Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/1 "2003-03-27T14:39:04Z")
I woke up this morning to my wife seething with anger. Seething doesn’t really describe her, it was more of a transformed fire breathing, archetypal Alpha-female kind of mad…
History: She just bought a brand new Jetta. 6 speed, GLI, most of the options. She lambskins this car i.e. wipes it down if dirt and/or dust gets on it.
Last night I pulled in next to her in the garage. I have a Chevy Avalanche. I opened my door, and accidentally dinged her car. Then the dog came running at me, and I turned my attention to him and went outside to play for a minute. Forgetting about the ding, and worse yet, forgetting to tell my wife, the newly transformed **Gorgon Queen** about it.
Does anyone know about **Gorgon’s**? The archetype of Medusa or in greek _Metis_?
Here is what I can find and I am scared!!
> [@](#):
>
> Sovereign female wisdom. The female mysteries. All the forces of the primordial Great Goddess: The Cycles of Time as past, present and future. The Cycles of Nature as life, death and rebirth. She is universal Creativity and Destruction in eternal Transformation. She is the Guardian of the Thresholds and the Mediatrix between the Realms of heaven, earth and the underworld. She is Mistress of the Beasts. Latent and Active energy.
Anyone know how to quell her anger?
I thought snakes and fire would start to come from her head, she was _THAT_ mad. The ding is significant enough to necessitate a trip to the dealership to have it buffed out. I know more pain. But I am not sure how to make it up to her. The only thing she said to me - this is where I thought I was going to turn to stone from her gaze - “… Can’t you be more considerate with your huge ugly f\*cking truck?!!”
Then she stormed out and left me to wallow in my own selfless pitty. What do I do to calm the newly transformed gorgon queen back to my lovely sweety wife??
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/2 "2003-03-27T14:41:00Z")
Polish your shield, and use that to look at her with.
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### Author:  [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/3 "2003-03-27T14:42:02Z")
Let her use the remote control once in a while.
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### Author:  [@In\_Conceivable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Conceivable)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/4 "2003-03-27T14:49:10Z")
Cut off her head. Then you can use her head to win yourself a new bride.
Or, you could get her car detailed for her while you have it at the dealership fixing the dent.
Which ever you prefer.
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/5 "2003-03-27T14:52:23Z")
**Phlosphr** :
What a straight line. Don’t you know that I wrote an entire book about this subject? I’ll e-mail you details. But I devoted part of a chapter to “The Gorgon Today”, noting that Medusa has become, in the last 25 years or so, a symbol of Female Rage. I’ve got quite a lkarge collections of books on female rage, all with gorgons on the covers.
I’m fascinated by the recent rise of the image of the Gorgon as a symbol of female rage/creativity/empowerment. Myths and symbols change through time, and I’m all in favor of it. But I think that claims that all of this has an ancient basis are highly suspect. Much of the stuff in, for instance, Barbara Walker’s book isn’t reliable.
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### Author:  [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/6 "2003-03-27T14:58:55Z")
Often, a well-timed sincere compliment will defuse these situations.
For example, you can tell her that you really like what she’s done with her headful of writhing serpents today.
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/7 "2003-03-27T15:02:49Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by CalMeacham \*
> **What a straight line.**
Please can one of you USians let this furriner know what on earth that phrase means? I’ve seen it three times in two days on the boards, and am mystified.
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### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/8 "2003-03-27T15:14:19Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Please can one of you USians let this furriner know what on earth that phrase means? I’ve seen it three times in two days on the boards, and am mystified.
It’s from stage comedy, especially vaudeville. You’ve got two guys on stage, and you want to tell a joke, or do a routine. One guy says something straightforward and innocent. He;'s the “straight man”, and his line is the “straight line”. (I don’t know if it’s connected to “straightforward”, but the sense is the same.)
The other guy responds with the joke – the “punch line”.
I used it more in the sense of “You gave me an opportunity to plug my book”. Plugging a book is against SDMB rules, but I didn’t give the addess on the SDMB, and I would’ve suggested a relevant book in any case, so I’m hoping there’s no problem here.
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### Author:  [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/9 "2003-03-27T15:16:57Z")
Have her change her name. To Zola.
Theres nothing wrong with a nice Gogonzola. Cheddar is nice as well.
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### Author:  [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/10 "2003-03-27T15:19:40Z")
I was reading it as “that line is exceptionally straight”. Thanks for the clarification.
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### Author:  [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/11 "2003-03-27T15:21:10Z")
Actually **Cal** we have your book! My wife and I both minored in Greek in College, and then again in Grad school. My mentor Professor Emeritus of classics at my alma mater, you probably know him. He was heavily involved in the Proceedings of The Boston Area Colloquium in Ancient Philosophy
In my own research on the relation of the modern world to classic antiquity brings me close to the idea of feminine archetypes in relation to medusa.
However, I’d be happy to accept more details through email.
As for my wife, she would never let me drive her car… so detailing it is out.
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### Author:  [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/12 "2003-03-27T15:25:39Z")
I wonder how **Phlosphr** is typing here when he’s been turned into stone?
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### Author:  [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/13 "2003-03-27T15:45:19Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by jjimm \*
> \*\*Polish your shield, and use that to look at her with. \*\*
Barring that, grab a mirror and turn it quickly toward her, shielding your eyes with it. That’ll turn _her_ to stone. But if you don’t want a new statue in your house, I don’t have any advice.
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### Author:  [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/14 "2003-03-27T15:58:34Z")
This thread kicks me right in the balls.
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### Author:  [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/15 "2003-03-27T16:07:04Z")
If I turn her to stone with the mirror technique, then what am I going to tell my in-laws. Looks as if I am going to have to appologize profusely with flowers, wine, and a new book.
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### Author:  [@Simbelmyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simbelmyne)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/16 "2003-03-27T16:22:28Z")
\>Cut off her head. Then you can use her head to win yourself a new bride.\<
Plus, her blood should produce a Pegasus, and can be used to raise the dead. Then resurrect her and give her the horse as an apology. Kiss. The end.
Remember, a frown is just a smile turned upside-down.
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### Author:  [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/17 "2003-03-27T16:40:57Z")
I think you going to have to go down on either her.
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### Author:  [@In\_Conceivable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Conceivable)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/18 "2003-03-27T17:43:13Z")
Either her or who **Zebra**? It might not help him any with his wife if he goes down on the Princess.
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### Author:  [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/19 "2003-03-27T17:46:02Z")
Run. Away.
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### Author:  [@In\_Conceivable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Conceivable)
#### Post date: [March 27, 2003, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/20 "2003-03-27T17:57:03Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Phlosphr \*
> \*\*If I turn her to stone with the mirror technique, then what am I going to tell my in-laws. \*\*
Good question. I guess you are going to have to get her to turn your in-laws into stone first. Maybe invite them over and stage some sort of accident with a cherry slurpee and your sofa?
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