# So my wife is a Gorgon, now what do I do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 27, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523 "2003-03-27T14:39:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/21 "2003-03-27T18:04:37Z")
A cherry slurpy and my sofa? If I did that I would not only be turned to stone, but ground-up and used as play sand for the neighbor’s children from hell. ---
**Author:** ![swingchick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@swingchick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swingchick)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/22 "2003-03-27T18:11:09Z")
Flowers are good. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/23 "2003-03-27T19:18:52Z")
Apologize. Start by apologizing for being a male. That’s always a good place to begin. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/24 "2003-03-27T19:58:10Z")
OK, I have a serious suggestion. First, I would like to point out that the car is a _thing_. That being said, from what you have posted (filtered through my value system) it seems to me that your wife’s priorities are out of whack. If it were me, I would walk out to the car with a hammer and ding the shit out of it a dozen or so times. That would cause a great fight, through which you could have a frank exchange of ideas over what is and is not important. Much make up sex would then follow. ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/25 "2003-03-27T20:16:35Z")
**Binarydrone** though your motives are galant, I must say they remain a little too barbaric for my tastes. I am leaving here in about an hour. Said wife has not spoken to me all day, she’s under lot’s of stress as it is. She’s on sabbatical to finish a book, and of course money is not exactly flowing in… I think a sincere appology is in order, though the last bit of your post may be nice 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/26 "2003-03-27T20:59:12Z")
Chocolate. Trust me on this. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/27 "2003-03-27T21:13:43Z")
Grovel. Talk like those priests in bad movies on tropical islands, you know, “Oh great Phlosphr Wife, your slave does humbly beg your forgiveness for his indiscretions…” ---
**Author:** ![FranticMad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c68b51/32.png) [@FranticMad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FranticMad)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2003, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/28 "2003-03-27T22:58:57Z")
Efamol worked for my ex at times like this. ---
**Author:** ![JustPlainBryan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/57b2e6/32.png) [@JustPlainBryan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustPlainBryan)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/29 "2003-03-28T00:21:34Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by CalMeacham_ > **What a straight line. Don’t you know that I wrote an entire book about this subject? I’ll e-mail you details. But I devoted part of a chapter to “The Gorgon Today”, noting that Medusa has become, in the last 25 years or so, a symbol of Female Rage. I’ve got quite a lkarge collections of books on female rage, all with gorgons on the covers.** Actually, I would be interested in reading your book! Can you email me the details? ---
**Author:** ![SlowMindThinking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@SlowMindThinking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlowMindThinking)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/30 "2003-03-28T00:40:57Z")
I have a daughter named Kali. The Hindu Kali plays a similar role in Hindu mythology. I hope we have not caused her future husband(s?) great trouble. 😉 If your Gorgon is anything like any of my Gorgons, you are going to have to wait it out. Then apologize profusely, give her chocolate and/or flowers and go down on her. Then discover why the Hindus also have the goddess of constructuve female energy. ---
**Author:** ![raisinbread](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8491ac/32.png) [@raisinbread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raisinbread)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/31 "2003-03-28T00:43:55Z")
Get a divorce and the only settlement is getting her poor, precious car fixed. Find someone else who has better priorities and live happily ever after. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/32 "2003-03-28T00:51:57Z")
shodan has the right of it. candy, def. candy. cadbury mini eggs are out now. for about $8 dollars you could get a nice bowl, a few packs of mini eggs and viola!!! or perhaps a candle or two in a nice holder if she doesn’t like candy. ---
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/33 "2003-03-28T01:18:55Z")
Trust me on this advice… As a woman, I can tell you it should break through to her! Get a dozen roses in a nice vase and have it waiting for her at home. Along with chocolate. Lots of chocolate. And a stuffed animal if she thinks those things are cute. And now the most important part: _clean the house_. And I mean scrub it top to bottom, better than she ever dreamed of. If she walks into a clean house with some roses sitting on the table, she’ll melt. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/34 "2003-03-28T02:15:34Z")
Stab her with your short-sword, _if you know what I mean_. Naw, just kidding. I have no idea. All I know is that you might want to get your info from a site that doesn’t talk about the primordial great goddess. Check out this for more about that. ---
**Author:** ![SlowMindThinking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dc4da7/32.png) [@SlowMindThinking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SlowMindThinking)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/35 "2003-03-28T02:31:24Z")
ooh, clean the house. Women love that. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/36 "2003-03-28T05:05:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SlowMindThinking \* > \*\*ooh, clean the house. Women love that. \*\* Good idea. But there’s a risk, isn’t there. By cleaning the house he’s reinforcing the gorgon-ish behavior. Before long every time she wants the house cleaned she’ll have a fit. What would B.F. Skinner do? ---
**Author:** ![Shana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@Shana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shana)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/37 "2003-03-28T05:38:47Z")
I think this thread is hilarious…However, I think your wife is being a tad bit punitive with you **Phlosphr**. I know she’s under a lot of stress, but still, it was an accident! Anyway, hope she cools off! Good luck!! (Oh, and I would definitely give the chocolate a try;) ) ---
**Author:** ![Spacegirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Spacegirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spacegirl)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/38 "2003-03-28T05:42:47Z")
Why doncha just get the door ding fixed? ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/39 "2003-03-28T06:48:18Z")
Skinner would put her in a box and make her push a lever, which would just get Phlosphr in MORE trouble. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Mook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Mr.Mook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Mook)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2003, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523/40 "2003-03-28T06:57:25Z")
Deny Deny Deny Then Deny. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-is-a-gorgon-now-what-do-i-do/164523.md?page=3)