# So My Wife Wants To Live in an Apartment **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 2, 2009, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390 "2009-10-02T20:18:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Colophon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Colophon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colophon)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/21 "2009-10-03T12:59:41Z")
> [@Bijou\_Drains](#): > > Condos are like apartments but you own them, those are pretty common in most big cities. I thought “apartment” was just the American name for what we call a flat - referring to the type of dwelling, not the ownership/lack of? Over here (UK) you can buy flats or rent flats; the name has nothing to do with it. (Although most estate agents seem to have adopted the American name “apartment”, whether selling or renting, as they seem to think it sounds more “aspirational” than the word “flat”.) ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/22 "2009-10-03T13:25:55Z")
> [@Colophon](#): > > I thought “apartment” was just the American name for what we call a flat - referring to the type of dwelling, not the ownership/lack of? One of the language differences again - an apartment is rented, a condominium (condo) is owned. Often, a building of condos _used to be_ rental apartments. I’ve seen confusion on other boards when a European says that he is buying an apartment, and the Americans go “What? You mean you’re getting a condo?”. About half the time the Europeans come back with “What’s a condo?”. To further confuse the issue, a condo can be rented out by the owner to someone else, but a condo is an “apartment” (flat) owned by an individual. ---
**Author:** ![Dolukhanova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c68b51/32.png) [@Dolukhanova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dolukhanova)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/23 "2009-10-03T13:31:40Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > One of the language differences again - an apartment is rented, a condominium (condo) is owned. I guess that’s also a language difference _within_ the U.S., then, because here in New York (or at least the tiny slice of it where I spend my time), we say “apartment,” whether it’s a co-op, a condo or a rental. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/24 "2009-10-03T13:35:55Z")
It sounds like the OP and his wife are or are going to be a pair of high earners, and are going to be able to muster a significant deposit to boot. What about buying a whole house that’s already been subdivided into 4 or 5 apartments? They’d have one and let out the other 3 or 4. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/25 "2009-10-03T14:13:50Z")
If it’s a luxury, built-from-scratch-condo I would expect it to be pretty quiet (at least the ones I’ve been in). If it’s an old building someone decided to turn into condo’s then best of luck. If you’ve never really lived in a large city then apartment life is not going to be your only issue. This sounds like a Green Acres episode in the making. Have you considered a brownstone as both an investment and a way of living in the city as a compromise? ---
**Author:** ![Sundrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sundrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sundrop)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/26 "2009-10-03T16:29:47Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > It sounds like the OP and his wife are or are going to be a pair of high earners, and are going to be able to muster a significant deposit to boot. What about buying a whole house that’s already been subdivided into 4 or 5 apartments? They’d have one and let out the other 3 or 4. That’s an idea I hadn’t though of. My wife has friends in Boston who do just this. I’m sure there are issues with being a landlord, but no situation is perfect. > [@Magiver](#): > > If you’ve never really lived in a large city then apartment life is not going to be your only issue. This sounds like a Green Acres episode in the making. Have you considered a brownstone as both an investment and a way of living in the city as a compromise? Yes, I’m getting the impression that age of the construction is going to be a consideration. And while I’ve never lived in a big city, I’m not a complete bumpkin, but I’m sure there will be all sorts of interesting issues as well. But it should be an adventure and there are advantages to living in a larger city and I’m sure the culture shock will wear off after a while. I’ll probably start another thread about that later. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/27 "2009-10-03T16:41:06Z")
> [@Sundrop](#): > > That’s an idea I hadn’t though of. My wife has friends in Boston who do just this. I’m sure there are issues with being a landlord, but no situation is perfect. An advantage would be that when you have children, you just take over the flat on the next level and put in an interior staircase. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/28 "2009-10-03T17:48:56Z")
There is the option of renting in a condo building. Not all condo boards allow it, but in buildings that do you are less likely to share a wall with the “shenanigan” generating neighbors you mentioned in your OP. I don’t know the sq footage, but my sister and her husband pay a little under your $2500 for a very spacious 2br 2bath apartment with ample closets, and a small washer & dryer in the unit. Their rent includes covered parking for one car. They live in Jersey City and have 180º of breathtaking view, and are a short walk from the PATH train. ---
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/29 "2009-10-03T18:07:43Z")
> [@Patty\_O\_Furniture](#): > > Speaking as a 12-year condo association prez, if you go for a condo, try to aim for the smaller ones. Typically they are large single family homes that have been converted. There are only eight units in mine. Hah. My advice, coming from living in a 14 unit condo association, is to avoid small condo developments like the plague! With a small association, every owner has to take responsibility, and if even a handful of owners aren’t interested in getting involved you have to carry them anyway. Expenses are spread out over a smaller number of people, so my monthly dues were higher than friends who lived in bigger complexes. Which is therefore all to say that there are positives and negatives to any living situation. > [@Sundrop](#): > > Yes, I’m getting the impression that age of the construction is going to be a consideration. I don’t know about Boston, but here in LA, during the housing boom, a ton of new condos were thrown up quickly. High end finishes, but weird layouts and sometimes shoddy construction. A friend lives in one – granite countertops, hardwood floors, stainless steel appliances, but feels smaller than it is, a bit awkward in layout, and the condo association is now a year or more into a lawsuit against the builder. So my advice is to be a bit leery of some of the newer construction, and make sure to talk to neighbors about their experiences with the condos. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/30 "2009-10-03T18:38:10Z")
Given what you’ve described as your circumstances, buying a condo would be insane at this stage. It does not sound like you guys are settled yet re your lifestyle choice and are in "try it out " mode re urban living. The purchase and selling fees involved in buying and disposing of a condo you have lived in for less than 5 years would make it very questionable way to proceed. Rent for a few years and once your views and lifestyle options are clearer then proceed. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2009, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/31 "2009-10-03T21:32:13Z")
Well your question is difficult to answer without any idea of which city you are going to be living in or what you can afford to spend. But if you are talking $2500 a month for 1200+ square feet I think it’s safe to assume it isn’t New York City. There are appartments or condos you can buy in most cities but your neighbors, costs and other factors will depend on the location and the building is. > [@Quartz](#): > > It sounds like the OP and his wife are or are going to be a pair of high earners, and are going to be able to muster a significant deposit to boot. What about buying a whole house that’s already been subdivided into 4 or 5 apartments? They’d have one and let out the other 3 or 4. Depending on what city they live in and what they actually do for a living, it may not be that high, relatively speaking. Cities like NYC are full of six figure earning MBAs and lawyers and most of us don’t live in 1200 square feet. A house like you describe in NYC might cost 5-10 million dollars or more. And quite honestly, if you aren’t living in NY or a few other cities, you might as well just get a house in the suburbs if that’s what you want. > [@Lanzy](#): > > North Cackylacky; is this a place or am I just not getting it again? “East coast stompin, rippin and rompin New York, North Cak-a-laka, and Compton” -Scenario, A Tribe Called Quest ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/32 "2009-10-04T00:25:47Z")
FWIW, I’ve lived in six different apartments (all in Orlando) and on-site hospital flats for doctors in England and I liked all of them. Never had a real problem with noisy neighbors. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2009, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/33 "2009-10-04T00:48:03Z")
> [@Sundrop](#): > > That’s an idea I hadn’t though of. My wife has friends in Boston who do just this. I’m sure there are issues with being a landlord, but no situation is perfect. > > Yes, I’m getting the impression that age of the construction is going to be a consideration. And while I’ve never lived in a big city, I’m not a complete bumpkin, but I’m sure there will be all sorts of interesting issues as well. But it should be an adventure and there are advantages to living in a larger city and I’m sure the culture shock will wear off after a while. I’ll probably start another thread about that later. I can see where you might be able to adapt to the culture of city life. It will be a lot harder to adjust from living in your own quiet castle to a noisy apartment. That’s why I was nudging toward the idea of a brownstone which gives both of you what you’re looking for with some give and take each way. The trade off is maintenance costs and loss of personal time against no equity and noisy neighbors. A condo apartment will provide fewer headaches if you can find one that’s quiet. Do you intend to give up your cars? If not, then parking should be part of the conversation. A condo building with secure underground parking would be something to consider. As for a thread on the pro’s and con’s of city life… oiy, there won’t be any strong opinions there. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sundrop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sundrop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sundrop)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/34 "2009-10-05T15:47:46Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Well your question is difficult to answer without any idea of which city you are going to be living in or what you can afford to spend. But if you are talking $2500 a month for 1200+ square feet I think it’s safe to assume it isn’t New York City. > > Depending on what city they live in and what they actually do for a living, it may not be that high, relatively speaking. Cities like NYC are full of six figure earning MBAs and lawyers and most of us don’t live in 1200 square feet. A house like you describe in NYC might cost 5-10 million dollars or more. New York, Boston, LA and Chicago are (almost) definitely out. We haven’t narrowed it down exactly beyond a list of states we’re potentially willing to live in, aiming toward the largest cities in those states. Right now Washington, New Hampshire, Florida and Texas have made the cut. I’m sure some would not consider those places to have large cities, and while they might not be that much larger than Raleigh or Charlotte, we both want out of NC. But out of curiosity, what would $2500/mo. get you in New York? 500 sq. ft in a bad part of town? > [@Magiver](#): > > Do you intend to give up your cars? If not, then parking should be part of the conversation. A condo building with secure underground parking would be something to consider. > > As for a thread on the pro’s and con’s of city life… oiy, there won’t be any strong opinions there. 😉 Oh, yes, some type of secure parking is going to be important. We’ll probably get rid of one car, but I’m not giving up my car completely, nor my motorcycle. A brownstone may work. Regardless, I think after this thread the idea is going to be to rent for a year or two and then make a decision. It’ll give us some flexibility if we do that and not lock us in place. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/35 "2009-10-05T16:07:38Z")
I can say that in Austin, $2500/month will get you pretty much whatever you want as far as apartments go, except possibly for some of the highest-end condos downtown. ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2009, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/36 "2009-10-05T16:41:01Z")
> [@Sundrop](#): > > So, Dopers, if you live in an apartment building for professionals in a reasonably large city, tell me about it. Thanks. I live in an apartment building for professionals in the world’s third largest metropolitan area. Rent is $4300 per month, charged in US dollars. That’s for a furnished apartment, and includes maid service (although that’s dirt-cheap as a rule in Mexico) and all of the utilities. I’d guess it’s about 900 to 1100 square feet. Two large bedrooms, and two full baths, walk-in closets. Not too bad. The walls and floors are all concrete, but the main door is cheap and flimsy. The practical effect is, the only place I can hear the neighbors from within the apartment is if they’re making noise near their front door, and I’m listening while standing near my front door. Additionally we have a terrace (about 8’ deep by 20’ wide), so I suppose if I were making a lot of noise outside and the vertical neighbors’ windows were open, they’d hear us, although we’re more than likely to be drowned out by the noise of traffic. For some reason there are a lot of ancient trucks that have no brakes other than their engine brakes, and no one impounds them for emissions controls. We’re on the 6th floor, and that’s Euro-style numbering, so it’s like the 7th floor in the 'States. There are 10 floors in the building (the 10th being called “9”). We have secured, underground parking with full-time security. I have to use an RFID card to summon the elevator from the parking level. Additionally the main entrance consists of a double airlock type of entrance under constant surveillance. You have to get through the first “chamber,” then the the security/lobby area, and finally into the main building where you can take the elevator. On the residential levels, no RFID is required (the doors all use hotel-style cards instead of physical keys). At the prices we’re paying, we’re certainly not in a rich building, even by Mexico standards. But we’re definitely in a professional and higher building. Overall, the apartment is nice by all objective standards I can think of. Despite that, it _sucks_. We’re in the middle of a noisy, densly populated city. There’s no yard or green spaces. The closest park is not walking distance. City people that think that we can appreciate museums and arts and theaters don’t realize that those are hours away in automobile. Everyone lives on top of or underneath each other. It’s stressful and traffic sucks. Everyone becomes an asshole because there’s something about city living that makes them that way. I mention that last parts because unless you’re unfortunate enough to have grown up in this aggressive, horrible, environment, there’s absolutely nothing at all redeeming about it, and you may want to consider it before subjecting yourself to it. Oh, and it’s not a “Mexico City” thing; Toronto sucked just as bad when I was there, and Chicago too. ---
**Author:** ![KSO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@KSO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KSO)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/37 "2009-10-06T16:05:17Z")
Balthisar–what did you hate about Toronto? I’m trying to move there… ---
**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/38 "2009-10-06T19:00:40Z")
[Quote=KSO] Balthisar–what did you hate about Toronto? I’m trying to move there… [/quote] The population density, traffic, and the assholes. Pretty much identical to what I mentioned above for Mexico City. Don’t get me wrong, cities are okay to visit if you have no other choice. For some reason, they don’t build theatres and opera houses out in the middle of nowhere. There _are_ good attributes to cities. They’re just hellish (to me, in my personal experience and opinion) to live in. If you’re already one of those city people, then Toronto will most likely be perfectly fine to you. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/39 "2009-10-06T21:05:23Z")
> [@Balthisar](#): > > The population density, traffic, and the assholes. Pretty much identical to what I mentioned above for Mexico City. Don’t get me wrong, cities are okay to visit if you have no other choice. For some reason, they don’t build theatres and opera houses out in the middle of nowhere. There _are_ good attributes to cities. They’re just hellish (to me, in my personal experience and opinion) to live in. If you’re already one of those city people, then Toronto will most likely be perfectly fine to you. It sounds like you’re just not a city person, which is totally fine. My mom would love to move out to a more rural area, whereas I wouldn’t be able to stand it. And you pay over FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS A MONTH in MEXICO for an apartment? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2009, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390/40 "2009-10-06T21:06:52Z")
> [@Balthisar](#): > > I live in an apartment building for professionals in the world’s third largest metropolitan area. Rent is $4300 per month, charged in US dollars. That’s for a furnished apartment, and includes maid service (although that’s dirt-cheap as a rule in Mexico) and all of the utilities. I’d guess it’s about 900 to 1100 square feet. Two large bedrooms, and two full baths, walk-in closets. Not too bad. Uh, $4300USD a month? You can buy a giant mansion on the beaches of Puerto Vallarta for a few hundred thousand dollars, meaning your mortgage would be significantly less for a beach front property than you’re paying for an apartment in one of the crappiest, dirtiest, most crime-ridden cities in the world. That and you said your apartment sucks. Eer, what? 4300 PESOS makes sense in this conversion, but not dollars. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-my-wife-wants-to-live-in-an-apartment/512390.md?page=3)