# So... now your job is writing fortune cookie fortunes. What do you write?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-now-your-job-is-writing-fortune-cookie-fortunes-what-do-you-write/779952>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [February 16, 2017, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-now-your-job-is-writing-fortune-cookie-fortunes-what-do-you-write/779952 "2017-02-16T01:12:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 8\
**Page:** 4

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**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\
**Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-now-your-job-is-writing-fortune-cookie-fortunes-what-do-you-write/779952/61 "2017-08-11T14:03:34Z")

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Oh, darkly hilarious depressing thoughts.

I’ll have to get a few drinks in to come up with any.

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**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\
**Post date:** [August 11, 2017, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-now-your-job-is-writing-fortune-cookie-fortunes-what-do-you-write/779952/62 "2017-08-11T16:08:40Z")

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“The countersign is ‘If it doesn’t rain later’”.

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**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\
**Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-now-your-job-is-writing-fortune-cookie-fortunes-what-do-you-write/779952/63 "2017-08-23T10:25:37Z")

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I was thinking that cookies with horrible fortunes would be a perfect sideline for the Cards Against Humanity people. It turns out [they thought so too](https://okcookie.co/).

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**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\
**Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-now-your-job-is-writing-fortune-cookie-fortunes-what-do-you-write/779952/64 "2017-08-23T11:43:05Z")

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Many oxen are in my bed. Many, many oxen.

Long live concrete.

Your date can’t wait to go home alone.

You’re eating food cooked last Tuesday.

You will become rich and famous and loved by all----- NOT

This coupon good for 50 cents off your order

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**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\
**Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-now-your-job-is-writing-fortune-cookie-fortunes-what-do-you-write/779952/65 "2017-08-23T11:47:57Z")

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If it weren’t for these fortunes there’s no way anyone would buy these shitty cookies.

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**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\
**Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-now-your-job-is-writing-fortune-cookie-fortunes-what-do-you-write/779952/66 "2017-08-23T17:04:30Z")

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You will soon reach the end of this sentence.

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**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\
**Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-now-your-job-is-writing-fortune-cookie-fortunes-what-do-you-write/779952/67 "2017-08-23T17:08:16Z")

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> [@TreacherousCretin](#):
>
> You will soon reach the end of this sentence.

Nice.

I’ve heard there are Jewish Mother fortune cookies that say things like:

You should be wearing a sweater.

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**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\
**Post date:** [August 23, 2017, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-now-your-job-is-writing-fortune-cookie-fortunes-what-do-you-write/779952/68 "2017-08-23T17:15:23Z")

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Women will flock to you.

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