# SO poll: Gimme Hope **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 9, 2008, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883 "2008-07-09T19:36:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/1 "2008-07-09T19:36:41Z")
Yes, I’m a postin’ fool today, without a doubt. That’s because I am going **crazy**. So, speak words of encouragement: How many of you met your significant other when in your forties? ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/2 "2008-07-09T19:42:16Z")
I met him right here on the Dope. 🙂 Flirt like crazy and don’t give up hope! ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/3 "2008-07-09T19:42:30Z")
I met him right here on the Dope. 🙂 Flirt like crazy and don’t give up hope! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/4 "2008-07-09T19:45:50Z")
We haven’t even been together for 3 months yet, but I’m very happy in my current relationship. I’ve never been this much in love before, and neither has she. I’m 46, she’s 43 and gorgeous. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/5 "2008-07-09T19:48:49Z")
No. But then, neither of us has yet been in our 40’s. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Contrary](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/db5fbb/32.png) [@Contrary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrary)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/6 "2008-07-09T19:50:06Z")
[QUOTE=brujaja] How many of you met your significant other when in your forties? [/QUOTE] I **met** him when I was 38; I refused to **date** him until I was 41. I married him when I was 43. ---
**Author:** ![AuntiePam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@AuntiePam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntiePam)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/7 "2008-07-09T19:50:27Z")
I was 47 when I met my husband, 15 years ago. We were immediately comfortable with each other. Look at the marriage licenses in your local paper. If their ages are listed as “legal”, chances are these folks are older. It happens a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/8 "2008-07-09T20:17:15Z")
I met my husband, online, when I was 40. He was 45. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/9 "2008-07-09T20:21:08Z")
I was 47 when I first met my wife online. We’ve been together 6+ years now. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/10 "2008-07-09T20:32:44Z")
I really don’t think that age has anything to do with it. Plenty of people have seriously messed up ideas about relationships, and they tend to have those ideas at younger ages. I’ve met plenty of more mature women that wasted their youths in horrible marriages, and finally woke up to reality decades later. For that matter, I’ve met men like that too. And I’ve met people who were just too independant to get tied down to any one situation, but are open to relationships. The number one deterrent to finding someone great is buying into the falsehoods that society, the media, and our own prejudices feed to us every day. For instance: Anyone not married by the age of 40 must be a weirdo. No woman over the age of 40 could possibly be attractive. There is some fundamental flaw in me that makes me undesirable. Women are all gold diggers. All men are pigs. If I haven’t found love by now, I never will. “The One” is out there somewhere. There are more. It’s important to recognize these as the blatent lies that they are. ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/11 "2008-07-09T20:55:35Z")
My grandfather got married in his 70s (to a woman in her 50s). It was very romantic. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/12 "2008-07-09T21:04:11Z")
I met the best woman of my life when I was 40 and she was 45. We’re still together and incredibly happy 6 years later. Have hope. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/13 "2008-07-09T21:13:35Z")
I must drink of this cup of hope. Recently I met an attractive woman who thought I was attractive. [Me!](http://www.sunspace.org/miksu2002.jpg) (disclaimer: 6 years ago). Although I do not think that this relationship is going to go anywhere, for all sorts of reasons, still it was an enormous boost to an ego that had basically been shredded over the years. _A woman actually thought I was attractive and said so, for the first time in years._ It’s not all over at age 40. Although I thought so when I turned 40. (Yes, my 40th birthday was not a happy occasion.) ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/14 "2008-07-09T21:16:57Z")
I met my wonderful husband in 2003, when I was 45 and he was 49. We just celebrated our 4th anniversary! ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/15 "2008-07-09T21:39:34Z")
[QUOTE=AuntiePam] I was 47 when I met my husband, 15 years ago. We were immediately comfortable with each other. Look at the marriage licenses in your local paper. If their ages are listed as “legal”, chances are these folks are older. It happens a lot. [/QUOTE] Wait, they publish marriage licenses in the local newspaper? What kind of antiquated law requires this? ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/16 "2008-07-09T21:43:26Z")
I noticed the gentleman on my 39th birthday, or close to it, and he’s a year and a half older than I am. After dating for about 4 years, we got married about 10 weeks ago and have been newly-wedding it up ever since. I tell him he was worth every minute of the wait! ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/17 "2008-07-09T21:56:36Z")
Met my SO when I was almost 43 (this was my 4th LTR, and I had been burned in various ways by all the previous ones). We’ve been together for over 16 years now. I do not delude myself that he fell for me because I was amazingly attractive. Only that I was what he was looking for at that stage in his life (he is a couple of years older than me). Also vice versa. Sometimes it takes the maturity of judgment that comes with a few years under your belt, to find the person who is right for you. Good luck! Roddy ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2008, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/18 "2008-07-09T22:03:48Z")
Not me, but my brother got married at 51, and my wife’s best friend got married at well over 40 - both for the first time. It does happen, have hope. ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/19 "2008-07-10T00:18:06Z")
Wow! Such a healthy response in such a short time! That _is_ encouraging! **Brynda:** Hey! That rhymes! Was that on purpose? **Sunspace:** Just for the record, I think you’re hecka cute too. And I hope it goes well. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2008, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883/20 "2008-07-10T00:32:28Z")
I was fifty-five when I met my Darling Marcie; she was forty-five. We’ve been married almost twelve years now. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-poll-gimme-hope/455883.md?page=2)