# So, PromPosals are a Thing. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 29, 2016, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019 "2016-05-29T18:00:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2016, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/1 "2016-05-29T18:00:52Z")
We have driven past large chalk writing of “Prom?” in rainbow colors with a heart for the O. My son is writing out Prom? using pairs of fun socks his gf likes - with the Mona Lisa, The Scream, etc, on them. Girls are coaching guys on proper creativity and the boys/partners are into it. My god, if I had had to do anything like that…:eek::eek::smack: …unless I could’ve spelled Prom out in Brittania jeans?! ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2016, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/2 "2016-05-29T19:18:27Z")
It’s getting worse every passing year. I have to watch this shit up close, and it’s starting to get ridiculous. What’s worse is that even if you’ve been dating the girl throughout high school, she still expects you to go all out for what should be an understood event. The “fun” ones are the guys who over-shoot their capabilities and get shot down, publically and extremely. And you want to know where the future Donald Trumps come from. ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2016, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/3 "2016-05-29T19:37:06Z")
It’s been going on for quite a few years by us. And then it’s all pictured on Facebook, too, so everyone can ooh, ahh, and like it. It makes me wonder how the girl who isn’t asked likes seeing it all, and it seems to get more elaborate and expensive each year. This isn’t where I live, but it’s way over the top. > **[Teen's extravagant promposal includes ticket to European cruise](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3599707/The-promposal-Teen-asks-girlfriend-school-dance-surprising-tickets-European-CRUISE-paid-parents-course.html)** > > Grant Gammon, 18, asked his girlfriend Stevie Clewett, 18, to prom this week in Katy, Texas. His family goes on a cruise every year, and they told him he could invite Stevie on this one. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2016, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/4 "2016-05-29T20:29:55Z")
I didn’t go to prom - and no one asked me - but back in the olden days, prom was a fancy dance. It was held in the high school gym. There were no limos or dinner before or parties after or any of that stuff. Even 30 years later when my daughter was going to prom, the asking wasn’t a big deal at all, but they did all pitch in to get a limo. And they might have gone to dinner beforehand. I guess every year has to top what came before? ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2016, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/5 "2016-05-29T20:36:22Z")
Now, they’ve all seen _American Pie._🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2016, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/6 "2016-05-29T21:43:52Z")
It’s so over the top, but not my money. I put it right up there with the parents that spend $3000 - $4000 on a kid’s birthday party. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2016, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/7 "2016-05-29T22:05:10Z")
> [@Pai325](#): > > This isn’t where I live, but it’s way over the top. > > [Texas teen asks girlfriend to school prom by surprising her with European CRUISE | Daily Mail Online](http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3599707/The-promposal-Teen-asks-girlfriend-school-dance-surprising-tickets-European-CRUISE-paid-parents-course.html) The article mentioned that the credit card company Visa conducts an annual survey of prom-related expenses. It said that the most recent survey “found that the average American household that includes a teen now spends $324 on promposing alone.” That’s a little scary. $324 just for the proposal? ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2016, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/8 "2016-05-29T22:05:16Z")
My nephew snuck into his girlfriend’s house with a couple goldfish in a bowl, with some kind of promposal-related poem written on the bowl. She had a fish tank so was into the whole fish thing, and her parents knew in advance that he was going to sneak into the house (they left a key for him), and they’d been dating a while so the acceptance was a forgone conclusion, but it still struck me as completely bizarre. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/9 "2016-05-30T00:57:21Z")
Coupla years ago, one of my neighbor’s garage door had PROM? written on it in HUGE letters. The next day when I got to work I asked a co-worker about it (she’s 27ish). She said that’s how you do it. They can call it a proposal, I call it ‘fear of rejection’. That same year, a few of my high school age female employees had PROM? scrawled across their car windows. To me, if it’s someone you’re dating, just ask them. If it’s someone you like it’s akin to passing them a note that says “do you like me?”. But it is what it is, and it’ll probably hang around for a few more years until the next thing comes along. Never fear, I’m sure the normal way of asking people to prom is still what usually happens and will probably be the popular way again eventually. “I’m going for the classic approach, I’m just going to nicely ask her, you know, like our parents used to do”. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/10 "2016-05-30T10:23:48Z")
I have come to think of this type of stuff as “Making it Shareable.” These kids live a significant portion of their lives online - it is cool and fun to have illustrations for your online picture story. Says the guy who’s only online presence is this place. My son wasn’t stressed about it, they share a love of fun socks, and it was a nice thing especially since he’s a senior. I hadn’t appreciated how over-silly it could become. I was just becoming aware if it’s existence at all ;). ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/11 "2016-05-30T18:38:17Z")
In **Seventeen** magazine a few years ago, a girl wrote that her best friend, a boy in her class, wrote “PROM?” on her car’s windshield. She ran up to him. “Yes!” He looked blank. Then he asked, “That was _your_ car? Not Jane Doe’s?” He thought it was hilarious. Her, not so much. (Although I don’t think she should have been embarrassed. It was his mistake.) ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/12 "2016-05-30T18:52:11Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > The article mentioned that the credit card company Visa conducts an annual survey of prom-related expenses. It said that the most recent survey “found that the average American household that includes a teen now spends $324 on promposing alone.” Somehow I doubt that “the average American household that includes a teen” has that kind of money to throw away. Maybe I’m getting too old, but this definitely wasn’t a thing when I was in high school in the late '90s - if you asked me what a “promposal” was, I would have said “Asking your prom date to marry you” (which _was_ a thing that happened). ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/13 "2016-05-30T18:53:44Z")
> [@Dendarii\_Dame](#): > > In **Seventeen** magazine a few years ago, a girl wrote that her best friend, a boy in her class, wrote “PROM?” on her car’s windshield. She ran up to him. “Yes!” > > He looked blank. Then he asked, “That was _your_ car? Not Jane Doe’s?” He thought it was hilarious. Her, not so much. (Although I don’t think she should have been embarrassed. It was his mistake.) How did she know who’d written it, are these promposals (ugh) signed in some way? Getting your hopes up, expressing an interest in someone, and getting shot down, sucks. It’s also pretty much unavoidable. She shouldn’t have been embarrassed, and he was a complete ass. But while this girl being rejected was a bug in the system, that guys have to take that chance seems to be more of a feature. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/14 "2016-05-30T18:55:18Z")
The kids doing it - that’s fine, each generation has their rituals that everyone else thinks are nuts. What makes me think the world has gone crazy is the grown assed parents who are posting facebook updates about their kids promposals. Seriously. This is their moment and their choice to share or not. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/15 "2016-05-30T19:46:45Z")
> [@Dendarii\_Dame](#): > > In **Seventeen** magazine a few years ago, a girl wrote that her best friend, a boy in her class, wrote “PROM?” on her car’s windshield. She ran up to him. “Yes!” > > He looked blank. Then he asked, “That was _your_ car? Not Jane Doe’s?” He thought it was hilarious. Her, not so much. (Although I don’t think she should have been embarrassed. It was his mistake.) How on earth do you not know what car your best friend drives? ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/16 "2016-05-30T19:50:21Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > I didn’t go to prom - and no one asked me - but back in the olden days, prom was a fancy dance. It was held in the high school gym. There were no limos or dinner before or parties after or any of that stuff. > > Even 30 years later when my daughter was going to prom, the asking wasn’t a big deal at all, but they did all pitch in to get a limo. And they might have gone to dinner beforehand. I guess every year has to top what came before? I did go to prom - over 30 years ago. Ours was at a local venue (not the school gym) so there was dinner and dancing. I’m not aware of any promposals having occurred. I went to prom because one of my female friends wanted all her friends to go, and through negotiations that I was not privy to (and were likely far too intricate for mere mortals to understand), I was assigned a date (with whom I was perfectly happy, by the way - another female friend of mine), as were about a dozen other of us - how she made all the arrangements is beyond me, particularly as my date’s boyfriend was also at the prom, having been assigned as someone else’s date (I suspect my date’s parents weren’t fond of him, and I was part of the arrangement required to get my date permission to go to prom at all). Have I mentioned how nice it is that drama decreases when one becomes an adult? ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/17 "2016-05-30T20:46:17Z")
Promposals are everywhere - when my nerdy son living in Jakarta, Indonesia knows all about them and says they are common among his peers (very few of whom are Westerners), they must be universal. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/18 "2016-05-30T21:07:46Z")
OK, spending hundreds of bucks on it is clearly ridiculous, but writing it in soap on a window, or the like? If the kids are having fun with it, what’s the problem? ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/19 "2016-05-30T21:33:17Z")
This is… very bizarre. I have never heard of promposals before! It’s the new norm, and the teens seem to like it, but it looks like it can be embarrassing too. I can’t wait to read more about this. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2016, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019/20 "2016-05-30T21:51:48Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > This is… very bizarre. I have never heard of promposals before! It’s the new norm, and the teens seem to like it, but it looks like it can be embarrassing too. I can’t wait to read more about this. It’s probably as normal as those silly elaborate wedding proposals that make the rounds. Most people just ask privately. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-promposals-are-a-thing/756019.md?page=2)