# So... shall we make fun of Ashlee Simpson? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 5, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250 "2005-01-05T18:52:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/1 "2005-01-05T18:52:57Z")
Acid reflux strikes again! Perhaps the SDMB is above such things, but I just had to share this link because I love the sub-headline: **[Ashlee Simpson’s Halftime Performance Falls Flat](http://www.local10.com/entertainment/4048912/detail.html)** _Boo Birds Descend On Pop Act’s Live Performance_ I almost feel bad for her, but… nah. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/2 "2005-01-05T19:09:03Z")
I feel it is immoral to make fun of anyone who has a nose that great. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/3 "2005-01-05T19:14:47Z")
Ashlee is wicked hot. If pretending to buy into the notion that she can sing/act keeps her on my TV set, then you may all consider yourself under standing orders to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/4 "2005-01-05T19:16:03Z")
“yourSELVES.” See, I’m so worked up over the prospect of a world without Ashlee that my posting goes straight into the crapper. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/5 "2005-01-05T19:18:29Z")
From [Salon](http://www.salon.com/news/sports/col/kaufman/2005/01/05/wednesday/index.html): > [@](#): > > Oh, my. I’ve been to karaoke Tuesday at Big Jim’s Trucketeria, friends, and I’ve never seen anything like this. Sweetheart, pick a key. Learn a move or two. Try lip-syncing. Oh, wait, never mind that last one. It was a staggering display of incompetence matched only by the Oklahoma secondary. I can’t remember ever seeing a performer so devoid of singing ability, stage presence, looks or anything else anyone not related would want to see twice. > > When Simpson’s song mercifully ended, the crowd united in booing. Sooners and Trojans, fat cats and cheap seaters, locals and tourists, 77,912 strong, they found one thing all night they could agree on: Boo! > > It was great. Then the football players came back, the butt-kicking resumed, and it got kinda boring. Ashlee Simpson, superstar, is a tough act to follow. She won’t be around much longer. I’m going to miss her. Tee hee! Didn’t see it but can’t help but welcome the news. ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/6 "2005-01-05T19:19:24Z")
> [@Happy Scrappy Hero Pup](#): > > Ashlee is wicked hot. > If pretending to buy into the notion that she can sing/act keeps her on my TV set, then you may all consider yourself under standing orders to do so. Gotta love a guy with a Clerks screen name, but I beg to differ. I don’t know what it is about them, but neither her nor her sister strike me as exceptionally good looking at all. Cute, maybe, but by no means hot. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/7 "2005-01-05T19:26:44Z")
I only saw the clip on the OP’s link, but I’ve gotta say, I certainly won’t miss her. She has absolutely no talent whatsoever. I’m not that enamoured with her big sister, either. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/8 "2005-01-05T19:31:34Z")
> [@Slacker](#): > > Acid reflux strikes again! Eh? She did actually appear to be singing. Or trying to sing. You know what I mean. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Murcielago](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/da6949/32.png) [@Murcielago](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Murcielago)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/9 "2005-01-05T19:41:42Z")
What a great night, my Trojans whoop posterior and one of the worst pre-fab “pop stars” implodes at halftime. I liked that the band was displaying the “anarchy” symbol on their gear. Yeah, fight the power, you wind-up renegade nitwits. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/10 "2005-01-05T19:55:52Z")
It just puzzles me to no end how something like “Ashlee Simpson” can happen. It’s as if someone made a bet that they could take a nobody and turn them into a pop star. I don’t dig the current crop of teenie stars (Hillary Duff, Jojo, Lindsy Lohan) but I think they may have at least had to audition with other kids to get thier starts and had to demonstrate some shred of talent somewhere along the line. It appears that Mr. Simpson bought some writers to write the music and lyrics for her, bought a band to play with her, paid to produce an album, failed to get her singing lessons, failed to show her some dance moves, and thrust her onto the public. I am even more truely dumbfounded as to how she lands the gigs she gets. Does her father pay them?? Just how did she get onto Jay Leno, SNL, do the West Coast portion of Dick Clark’s Rockin New Year’s Eve, and sing at the Orange Bowl. Why are these promoters flinging shit at us? ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/11 "2005-01-05T20:05:02Z")
Is she the same person who plays one of the annoying not-quite-Camdens on **Seventh Heaven**? The hair color is about as different as possible, but the face looks not dissimilar… ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/12 "2005-01-05T20:18:18Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > It just puzzles me to no end how something like “Ashlee Simpson” can happen. > It’s as if someone made a bet that they could take a nobody and turn them into a pop star. > I don’t dig the current crop of teenie stars (Hillary Duff, Jojo, Lindsy Lohan) but I think they may have at least had to audition with other kids to get thier starts and had to demonstrate some shred of talent somewhere along the line. > > It appears that Mr. Simpson bought some writers to write the music and lyrics for her, bought a band to play with her, paid to produce an album, failed to get her singing lessons, failed to show her some dance moves, and thrust her onto the public. > > I am even more truely dumbfounded as to how she lands the gigs she gets. Does her father pay them?? Just how did she get onto Jay Leno, SNL, do the West Coast portion of Dick Clark’s Rockin New Year’s Eve, and sing at the Orange Bowl. > Why are these promoters flinging shit at us? Nep. O. Tis. M That is the only possible answer. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/13 "2005-01-05T20:19:39Z")
But I did notice that she appears to have nice, thick legs. That’s something good. So she can’t sing, can’t dance, can’t keep my attention, and yet she’s making $millions. I bet she gets back to her hotel room every night and laughs hysterically. ---
**Author:** ![LordVor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90ced4/32.png) [@LordVor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LordVor)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/14 "2005-01-05T20:22:48Z")
To be fair, the sound guy deserves to be shot. In case you didn’t notice, nobody’s earpieces worked. Clarkson started with a dead mike, and then was trying desparately to hear out of her moniter, then eventually just said fuck it and sang. Which ended as well as it possibly could have, it takes a pretty well trained singer to belt out something like that with no idea of what you sound like, and she actually impressed me by the way she dealt with all the problems. (When she started singing into the dead mike, my first thought was “Just wait for the band to come around again.” Then I remembered that several hundred people had already started their routine based upon when the song was supposed to start, so she had to stay focussed on where she was actually supposed to jump in at, which is huge.) Ashley had her earpieces hanging around her neck from the start, and that’s when you noticed the trained singer verses the manufactured pop princess. Without the monitor (or, perhaps, the “guide track” that was supposed to sing into her ear), she was all over the place, and just sounded, well, **bad**. ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/15 "2005-01-05T20:25:07Z")
Wow, that sucked. ---
**Author:** ![skittles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@skittles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/skittles)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/16 "2005-01-05T20:47:51Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > Is she the same person who plays one of the annoying not-quite-Camdens on **Seventh Heaven**? The hair color is about as different as possible, but the face looks not dissimilar… Yes, that is the same girl. And yes, she did suck! ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/17 "2005-01-05T21:05:04Z")
> [@](#): > > It just puzzles me to no end how something like “Ashlee Simpson” can happen. Marketing. “They’ll like Ashlee Simpson. They’ll do anything the TV tells them to do!” In this case, it seems the audience has finally wised up a teeny little bit. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/18 "2005-01-05T21:07:22Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > It appears that Mr. Simpson bought some writers to write the music and lyrics for her, bought a band to play with her, paid to produce an album, failed to get her singing lessons, failed to show her some dance moves, and thrust her onto the public. Close. I believe that her sister Jessica was a Mousekateer, and she’s riding those coattails. Both certainly are very attractive, but I couldn’t for the life of me find myself attracted to either of them based solely on Jessica’s idiocy. I have to protect my genetic offspring, ya know? What if they look like me and talk like her?!? ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/47e85d/32.png) [@Captain\_Lance\_Murdoch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Lance_Murdoch)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/19 "2005-01-05T21:20:58Z")
I’ve never heard any songs by either Simpson, but I have little doubt they would not run to my tastes. While I don’t doubt that Ashlee “sucks” I still have to feel a little sorry for her. Was she ever more than a pawn in this whole thing? Does she even get to pick her own hair color? I can just imagine what a hell her life must be turning into. Try to picture her psycho-dad raging around after this. The pressure on her must be overwhelming. It’s surely occurred to her by now that her fledgling career is in trouble. Sure she’s made a bundle of cash, but I’ll bet it’s gone before she ever gets to enjoy any of it. Will she rebound from this or will she end up on the trash heap of broken lives? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2005, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250/20 "2005-01-05T21:30:35Z")
[Two Old Guys from _Trading Places_] “I can make anyone into a pop star.” “Can not!” “Can too!” "Okay, how about…her? (points to Ashlee) “Oh yeah, piece of cake. The public already bought her sister.” “Betcha a dollar you can’t.” “You’re on.” [/TOGFTP] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-shall-we-make-fun-of-ashlee-simpson/283250.md?page=2)