# So, she just did the Temple of Doom thing with my heart **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 21, 2008, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923 "2008-11-21T22:42:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/1 "2008-11-21T22:42:17Z")
Ugh. So, [she](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10421694&postcount=272) just dumped me. Says “we’re moving at different speeds.” Meaning, she thinks I’m moving too fast toward a LTR. Okay, lemme get this straight. In the four weeks we’ve been dating: [ul] [li]_She_ told _me_ she’d like to be exclusive[/li][li]_She_ invited _me_ to hang out with her brother[/li][li]_She_ told _me_ how much she appreciates being with somebody who appreciates her talents and listens to what she has to say[/li][li]_She_ told _me_ (four days ago!) that it’s best sex she’s ever had, and we need to do it some more[/li][/ul] The closest I’ve come to _any_ of that was “I really like you” and “Damn, I didn’t think I’d run in to anybody this fantastic so quickly.” “I don’t want to feel like I’ve been leading you on,” she said. WTF? _That’s all you’ve been doing_. Can people really seem so dead serious and grown up for four weeks, and then turn around on _just like that_? It’d be soooo much easier if she just told me “I’ve decided I’m not that in to you,” or “I’m seeing somebody new,” or “I’ve decided to start seeing my alcoholic ex-boyfriend again.” I could deal with any of those. This just has me confused as hell. So yeah. Sorry if I’m coming off like a whiner. I haven’t had a problem getting dates since I separated, but this is the first one that I’ve actually _liked_ liked. Ugh. Gonna be a crappy weekend. ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/2 "2008-11-21T22:47:22Z")
I hearz ya. WOMEN! _belch_ ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/3 "2008-11-21T22:59:19Z")
We’ve all been there, bro. It sucks, but if she’s that big a flake, she did you a favor. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/4 "2008-11-21T22:59:27Z")
> [@black\_rabbit](#): > > So, [she](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10421694&postcount=272) just dumped me. Says “we’re moving at different speeds.” Meaning, she thinks I’m moving too fast toward a LTR. Wait, she said different speeds and then also implied the part about you moving too fast, or you’re just attributing that meaning to her words? Maybe she thinks you’re moving too slow. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/5 "2008-11-21T23:12:35Z")
On the bright side, this sort of negates your rant in the linked thread, right? It was bad luck after all! ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/6 "2008-11-21T23:21:56Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > Wait, she said different speeds and then also implied the part about you moving too fast, or you’re just attributing that meaning to her words? Maybe she thinks you’re moving too slow. She’d said previously that she normally doesn’t jump from one relationship to the next, and that starting dating a month after breaking it off with her previous boyfriend was pretty soon for her. We’re also both coming out of relationships where we were both codependent as all hell, so I can see where she’s scared of falling in to something too quickly. She’s really, really methodical about stuff. Of course, you could be right, and I could be a great big idiot for trying to play it cool, but it’d just be torturing myself to think about it. My fault for leaving my heart out there to get broken. Her fault for sending mixed signals. Mostly, we talked about how she feels like an ass for dumping me. It’s been close to 24 hours, and I’m only catching myself wishing she’d knock on my door or call me about once an hour. That’s progress. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/7 "2008-11-21T23:27:57Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > On the bright side, this sort of negates your rant in the linked thread, right? It was bad luck after all! Yeah. Speaking of torturing myself, I probably shouldn’t have looked up that post. So: Stay home, get drunk, play slide guitar, and read the Gaiman novel she let me borrow that I’m refusing to give back until I’m finished with… …or go to a club and troll for phone numbers to make myself feel better? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/8 "2008-11-21T23:39:48Z")
On behalf of Normal Woman Who Don’t Crap All Over Their Significant Others, I would like to apologize for this ditz and her callous treatment of your heart. No person has the right to do the Temple of Doom thingie with anyone’s heart. ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/9 "2008-11-21T23:49:40Z")
Ah, been there. Put it down to bad timing and a ‘close but no cigar’ match. I vote A: drink, music, good book (get it read and give it back - get all her stuff out of your house and life ASAP). Rant, bitch, whine and vent online until you no longer feel the need. We’re here for you. Going to a bar will probably end with you telling every woman there about your breakup, which wouldn’t be much fun. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [November 21, 2008, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/10 "2008-11-21T23:54:29Z")
I know this is wrong, but I keep hearing “KALIMAR!” in my head now. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/11 "2008-11-22T00:11:09Z")
> [@maggenpye](#): > > Going to a bar will probably end with you telling every woman there about your breakup, which wouldn’t be much fun. Good point. Funny thing is, I went out to a bar a couple of weeks ago, got pretty toasty, and started telling the women who hit on me how in love I was. Somebody remind me to never, ever get cocky again. Ever. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/12 "2008-11-22T00:12:50Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > On behalf of Normal Woman Who Don’t Crap All Over Their Significant Others, I would like to apologize for this ditz and her callous treatment of your heart. > No person has the right to do the Temple of Doom thingie with anyone’s heart. No apology necessary. I thought she was one of the normal ones, actually. Maybe she is, and is just feeling a little twitchy right now. I think I’m going to open a bottle of wine and play some Quake. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/13 "2008-11-22T02:34:39Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > I know this is wrong, but I keep hearing “KALIMAR!” in my head now. You’re damn right that’s wrong! It’s “Kali Ma!” ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/14 "2008-11-22T02:42:28Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > You’re damn right that’s wrong! > > It’s “Kali Ma!” Bah, I knew I’d screw it up. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/15 "2008-11-22T02:45:13Z")
Duuuuude, that sucks. Sorry, that’s all I got. I suck at sympathy. But it sucks. Donkey balls. Sorry, I’m a few drinks in. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/16 "2008-11-22T03:10:53Z")
A nice plate of “calimari!” might help though. With sauce and lemon juice onthe side. Try it. ---
**Author:** ![AllWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/db5fbb/32.png) [@AllWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AllWalker)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/17 "2008-11-22T04:20:44Z")
> [@black\_rabbit](#): > > I think I’m going to open a bottle of wine and play some Quake. After an exam, I opened a bottle of wine and played some Fallout. It was very therapeutic, though my friends were laughing at me for being drunk at dinner. Oh well. Interestingly enough, I think dinner was calamari. The only advice I can give is tragically vague: try to find closure, and move on. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/18 "2008-11-22T05:03:03Z")
Count your blessings. You had fun, some good sex, and then things ended in a way that revealed she was flakier than a head full of dandruff. She did you a favor, in the long run. Better now than a divorce down the road. Keep your chin up. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/19 "2008-11-22T15:05:00Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Keep your chin up. Oh, totally. Pretty, flirty, barely-legal waitresses at coffee shops make Baby Jesus smile on a gloomy Saturday morning. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/20 "2008-11-22T15:26:48Z")
> [@black\_rabbit](#): > > We’re also both coming out of relationships where we were both codependent as all hell, so I can see where she’s scared of falling in to something too quickly. She’s really, really methodical about stuff. I strongly encourage you to get your own shit together before looking for a relationship. I’m not seeing anything here or in the other thread that indicates you’re in any kind of shape to be doing anything other than taking stock and learning to rely on yourself and not a relationship for your sanity. Sounds to me like she came to her senses before too much damage was done to either of you. Sorry if she wasn’t gentle with you in breaking the news to you – but she was (is) right. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923.md?page=2)