# So, she just did the Temple of Doom thing with my heart **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 21, 2008, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923 "2008-11-21T22:42:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/21 "2008-11-22T18:07:23Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > No person has the right to do the Temple of Doom thingie with anyone’s heart. Worst country song title ever. Or maybe the best, I can’t quite decide. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2008, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/22 "2008-11-22T18:28:58Z")
Get your stereo ready, put on J. Geils, “Love Stinks” and play it really loud. It helps, trust me. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/23 "2008-11-23T03:35:28Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Sounds to me like she came to her senses before too much damage was done to either of you. Sorry if she wasn’t gentle with you in breaking the news to you – but she was (is) right. No offense, but you’re 50% wrong. a) I’m at the tail end of my recovery process. While it’s true that I only got officially divorced two weeks ago, it’s been a loooong time coming, for me. True, I’m not ready to have a real long-term relationship, but I think I can shoot for a medium-term one. I was “alone” for about the last three years of my marriage - it’s just that I had a 38-year-old child to take care of. The prospect of hanging out with a grownup was appealing to me. So sue me. b) I just got back from having a couple of drinks. The route to my watering hole goes past her ex’s watering hole. Guess who’s sitting in the window of the ex’s bar _at this very moment_ watching some guy (presumably the ex) playing one of those dumbass video trivia games? Yeah. She gotta get her shit together, all right. I say this with all the sympathy that a recovering codependent can muster: Good riddance. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/24 "2008-11-23T03:41:06Z")
Ohfertheluvof…lying little bag. Well, I guess you’ve got closure, if nothing else. One question - most people have a rebound thingy after a long-term relationship ends - do you think she was yours? ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/25 "2008-11-23T03:54:33Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > One question - most people have a rebound thingy after a long-term relationship ends - do you think she was yours? This may be the Jameson talking, but I’ve come to a bit of insight: I tend to assume, by default, that other people have their shit more together than I do. It’s part of the reason why I used to be (literally) [this guy](http://www.theonion.com/content/news/god_help_him_but_area_man_loves). Lesson learned. I suppose I should be proud of myself for not walking in to the bar and making her very quietly uncomfortable. Seriously, _fuck her_ for playing on the one remaining insecurity I have about myself and relationships. Gah. Good thing I have a fresh bottle of Tully, a kitten, and a guitar. ---
**Author:** ![Telcontar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Telcontar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telcontar)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/26 "2008-11-23T05:10:46Z")
Been there, done that. Romance can suck sometimes. As I almost commented in another thread, I’ve seen wonderful turn to shit so fast I couldn’t even write a coherent rant out of the transition. Hell, a girl once dumped me because she enjoyed the make out sessions too much. My sympathies on your romantic whiplash, gah. Do a shot, eat some chocolate, and try not to rebound (seriously, the only thing worse than one crazy girl breaking your heart is another doing it the next week) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/27 "2008-11-23T05:42:20Z")
I’ll give an attempt at consolation, and an opportunity for a doper to attribute the quote, in one shot. **"Love is forever, for as long as it lasts."** -Some realistically cynical spaniard, I think. I did a similar number, with a lady in Los Osos, this summer. What I thought was a relationship turned out to be a 30-day pity fuck. Nice while we had the illusion, though, and we still talk. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/28 "2008-11-23T07:55:55Z")
> [@black\_rabbit](#): > > This may be the Jameson talking, but I’ve come to a bit of insight: I tend to assume, by default, that other people have their shit more together than I do. It’s part of the reason why I used to be (literally) [this guy](http://www.theonion.com/content/news/god_help_him_but_area_man_loves). > > Lesson learned. > > I suppose I should be proud of myself for not walking in to the bar and making her very quietly uncomfortable. > > Seriously, _fuck her_ for playing on the one remaining insecurity I have about myself and relationships. > > Gah. Good thing I have a fresh bottle of Tully, a kitten, and a guitar. Perhaps you’re just saying all this because you’re drunk, but I think you might want to consider **twickster** ’s good advice some more. If you’re this banged up about someone you’ve dated for 4 weeks and you admit you’re codependent then it seems (to me) that you’ll want to take a little time out to do some work on you. Sounds like you went straight from marriage to dating before the ink was even put to paper on your divorce. A little time with your own company should be a worthwhile pursuit. If you can’t stand to be alone in your own company, how is anyone else going to be? Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/29 "2008-11-23T08:17:54Z")
I’m trying _really_ hard to empathize with you, **black rabbit** , but although the same thing happened to _me_ very recently, it didn’t happen for those reasons, and although _you_ have the opportunity to try again, **I** am very reluctant to do that. I have to agree with\*\* twicks\*\*, that you need to slow down and take stock of your situation before “getting back out there”. I wish you all the best, and for what it’s worth, yeah, it sucks, but better now than later when it might have hurt a lot worse. Quasi ---
**Author:** ![maggenpye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecc23a/32.png) [@maggenpye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maggenpye)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 9:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/30 "2008-11-23T09:50:24Z")
Sorry **black rabbit** , but how do you know she was with the guy in the pub? Or that he was her ex? Is it at all possible that she was at a familiar pub - just like you were? Perhaps contemplating the crappy situation that is her life, just like you were. You’ve seen her (from a distance) looking at someone you don’t know - who seemed to be ignoring her to play a video game - that doesn’t mean she has gotten back with her ex just to spite you. You could be reading something into the situation that wasn’t there at all. Another vote for stepping back and taking stock. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/31 "2008-11-23T11:57:42Z")
Sorry for the breakup. It sucks that she broke up with you, but it’s far better on the ego and heart than a lingering break-up. I hate people who do that. Good luck to you. ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/32 "2008-11-23T11:59:03Z")
> [@WF\_Tomba](#): > > I hearz ya. > > WOMEN! > > _belch_ For some reason or other, this–being the first response to the heartfelt OP–made me literally laugh out loud. This probably makes me a petty and unsympathetic person, but there it is. I am currently witnessing a good buddy of mine deal with a “casual relationship” meltdown…she showed up uninvited to his house at three in the morning, she shoved him, she socked him in the eye, he shoved her away from him so she’d stop hitting him…a neighbor called the cops because of the yelling and she tried to claim she was assaulted…yadda yadda yadda… This was a girl he initially really liked. They connected, they had great sex, they were “on the same wavelength” etc…they were gonna keep it low-key and see where it went… And it ended–for now–with the cops in his front yard at three in the morning. (FTR nobody was charged or arrested; the cops thought she was too drunk to drive so they gave her a ride back to her house and told her to collect her car the next day when she was legally able to operate her vehicle.) I am a cynical person by nature–and years of bartending haven’t helped–and most of the time when a relationship like the one outlined in the OP ends in the manner in which it ended… I can’t help but think that she did you a favor. It’ll take you awhile to appreciate that, but it’s probably true. Obviously her head isn’t clear right now, for whatever reason. It probably isn’t your fault, but you probably couldn’t fix it even if it was; it’s better to know now. My buddy has been dealing with this “quasi-relationship” for a year or so. It isn’t healthy and it isn’t normal and nobody involved is currently apparently capable of a normal relationship and I think the whole thing is sad. I’m not saying there’s a huge parallel between the two scenarios, but I AM saying that when someone shows you who they are, it’s best you believe them the first time. Better for it to end quickly. Harder and more painful–with more questions than may ever be answered–but definitely better in the end. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this. ---
**Author:** ![Brandon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f08c70/32.png) [@Brandon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brandon)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/33 "2008-11-23T14:37:46Z")
> [@Audrey\_Levins](#): > > My buddy has been dealing with this “quasi-relationship” for a year or so. It isn’t healthy and it isn’t normal and nobody involved is currently apparently capable of a normal relationship and I think the whole thing is sad. Obviously I don’t know the context of this, but can you elaborate please? Specifically, what is a “quasi-relationship”, and why is it unhealthy, abnormal, and sad? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/34 "2008-11-23T15:32:18Z")
> [@Brandon](#): > > Obviously I don’t know the context of this, but can you elaborate please? Specifically, what is a “quasi-relationship”, and why is it unhealthy, abnormal, and sad? I’m assuming she’s referring to the specific example she just gave, which they claimed they were keeping “low-key”, etc., and ended up with her in his yard at 3 am, screaming, cops showing up, etc. Low-key my ass. For the OP, paraphrasing Dan Savage of the Savage Love sex advice column: Every relationship you enter will fail. Until one doesn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Brandon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f08c70/32.png) [@Brandon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brandon)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/35 "2008-11-23T16:10:49Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > I’m assuming she’s referring to the specific example she just gave, which they claimed they were keeping “low-key”, etc., and ended up with her in his yard at 3 am, screaming, cops showing up, etc. Low-key my ass. > > For the OP, paraphrasing Dan Savage of the Savage Love sex advice column: Every relationship you enter will fail. Until one doesn’t. Ah, thank you. Poor reading comprehension on my part, I read it as an entirely different relationship. Guess that’s what I get for posting after being out all night. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/36 "2008-11-23T17:07:39Z")
Sorry to hear about how she treated you. It really sucks. But I like to think of what Dan Savage says about relationships… “All relationships fail, until one doesn’t.” Get back on the horse. ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923/37 "2008-11-23T23:20:04Z")
> [@HelloNinja](#): > > Get back on the horse. That is _ **not** _ the advice Dan Savage would give. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-she-just-did-the-temple-of-doom-thing-with-my-heart/473923.md?page=1)