# So-so date risks life to save you from a violent assault. Are you more/less attracted than before? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 29, 2013, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014 "2013-04-29T16:14:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2013, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/21 "2013-04-29T19:09:07Z")
I would absolutely ask her out again. And then she’ll turn me down because I’m a pussy who can’t defend myself. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2013, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/22 "2013-04-29T19:27:35Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > I would absolutely ask her out again. And then she’ll turn me down because I’m a pussy who can’t defend myself. Fool of a Sasquatch! Alex just INVITED you to ask her out again. And given that she was willing to risk death to keep you out of Purgatory, she’ll probably be willing to knock boots once she’s healthy enough. And this isn’t one of those comic-booky threads anyway. I thought it clear from the OP that Alex only succeeded in saving you because of the element of surprise (and only acted as s/he did out of desperation). ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2013, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/23 "2013-04-29T19:30:23Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > Saving my life is a choice I want to encourage, as a matter of policy. If Alex wants another date, she gets one. Shucks, if a _man_ risks his life to save mine, I’d not only be willing to take him out for dinner and drinks; I’d let him get to second base. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/24 "2013-04-29T20:55:16Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I think there was a thread a few weeks back about a real-life event that was relevant, but I don’t remember any of the details and don’t care enough to research. It was probably the thread about this guy: [Man fakes knife attack to impress date](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/22/jeffery-tyler-siegel-fake-knife-attack-impress-date_n_2931570.html#). ---
**Author:** ![panaccione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@panaccione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panaccione)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/25 "2013-04-30T07:09:42Z")
Alex sounds like a catch. The kind of girl you could show off to your friends and take home to mom and dad. Yeah, I’m giving her a call. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/26 "2013-04-30T07:37:13Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Fool of a Sasquatch! > > Alex just INVITED you to ask her out again. And given that she was willing to risk death to keep you out of Purgatory, she’ll probably be willing to knock boots once she’s healthy enough. Fair enough. To be honest, though, I’m not entirely sure if I’d be comfortable with how it would effect the power dynamic of the hypothetical relationship. No, that’s not right - it’s rather that I’m not sure how it would play with my own feelings of insecurity. I think I would feel that my manhood had somehow been compromised, and I don’t know what I would be able to do to restore it. After something like that, it probably doesn’t matter how many tires I change… Although I could just decide to settle into a role as the weaker partner and let her dominate me for a while, if she’s up for that. I can get with that every now and then. ---
**Author:** ![JLRogers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ce73a5/32.png) [@JLRogers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JLRogers)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/27 "2013-04-30T11:18:06Z")
I want to know why Alex left her gun at home. That’s unaccaptable. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/28 "2013-04-30T11:44:19Z")
I wouldn’t - I’m grateful that she saved my life and all, but that’s a basis for good friendship, and doesn’t change the chemistry thing (and I don’t get turned on by violence, so I can’t see how her actions would affect the chemistry thing) ---
**Author:** ![MegaBee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f0a364/32.png) [@MegaBee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MegaBee)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/29 "2013-04-30T18:32:57Z")
Perfect woman right there. Hell yes, she gets a second date. ---
**Author:** ![Deegeea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Deegeea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Deegeea)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/30 "2013-04-30T18:48:13Z")
I think in this hypothetical situation, I’d go out with Alex again. I definitely would if the attack hadn’t happened; that level of neutral “less chemistry” is not a feeling that leads me to decide no second chance, it was a one time evaluation and different then the first evaluation so I’d at least want a tie breaker. My best real life relationships have had this period of “but there’s no chemistry” after the initial chemistry let up but before we became intimate emotionally, so I might have even viewed it as a good sign… But the attack makes me skittish. I’d associate Alex with the thing that happened, through obviously no fault of Alex’s own, so I would still go on the date, but our long term possibilities are less likely than they would’ve been without the attack. Things like that scare me and create phobias. Heck, I’d probably be afraid to stop at gas stations for a while; that’d be awkward. Alex would have to drive to the next date. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/31 "2013-04-30T18:48:55Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > This is more rare than the life saving part, and more of a turn on. I’d give her another chance. > > Then there’s this: > > If you want to make this harder, don’t make her so damn perfect. Yeah. I don’t even understand why this is a question. Fuck yeah I’d go out with her again. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/32 "2013-04-30T19:08:43Z")
In the fictional scenario, I just put in a change of address form to send my mail to the hospital room and I’m about to ask if Alex is ok with that. If this were real life then I would know where I would be driving each day after work until Alex was released, and I’d at least have a damn good friend when it was all said and done. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/33 "2013-04-30T19:15:08Z")
No. I don’t want to date a woman who can kick my ass if she had half a mind to. ---
**Author:** ![Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Springtime_for_Spacers)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/34 "2013-04-30T19:19:04Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > And you base this on…? > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > It was probably the thread about this guy: [Man fakes knife attack to impress date](http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/03/22/jeffery-tyler-siegel-fake-knife-attack-impress-date_n_2931570.html#). Yep, that’s what I based my fake attack hypothesis on. That and I have a naturally suspicious nature. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/35 "2013-04-30T19:33:38Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Hell, that’s worth at least a blowjob. I’d date him for a few months, do some kinky stuff with him, then if it doesn’t work out, thank him for the time and the fun This post confuses me. You are a man, right? And I don’t _think_ you are a gay man, unless I’m mistaken. Are you? ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2013, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/36 "2013-04-30T20:18:22Z")
Definitely a second date. Saving my life is a turn on, I know because it happened before, thanks Sharon, though not as dramatically. Probably would worship at the “Altar” if she was into it. We shall see from there **Capt** ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2013, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/37 "2013-05-01T02:30:26Z")
Definitely asking Alex out again and I’d be way more attracted than before. ---
**Author:** ![scratch\_llll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@scratch\_llll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scratch_llll)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2013, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/38 "2013-05-01T04:24:06Z")
I would jizz my pants at the sight of her. Seriously? She just did something most of your friends wouldn’t do for you and you ditch her? It’s not about violence. It’s not about badass. She risked her EXISTENCE. Fall for the sweet talking shitslingers if you want but this one held steady when the rubber hit the road. Of course IRL backbone is shown over a lifetime of commitment and the gas station blows up from a stray misfire and kills everyone but if the scenerio were true then it just exposed an enormous amount of character in one tiny instant. It doesn’t diminish me a bit to have a fighter by my side and knowing what’s worth fighting for is priceless. Of course if she was bad at the bj she would be out no doubt. You have to have priorities. “If I were dead and you alive and fighting for life, I would come back from the darkness, back from the pit of hell to fight by your side.” Hells yeah. Conan knows what I’m talking about. ---
**Author:** ![Student\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Student\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Student_Driver)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2013, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/39 "2013-05-01T06:01:07Z")
> [@appleciders](#): > > Hell, for a so-so date with someone as physically and intellectually attractive as that, I’d be about 50-50 on the second date anyway. I would be _more_ likely to ask Alex out given the heroics than if the date had ended uneventfully. Same here. And speaking of androgynous names, I actually happen to be casually dating a girl named Alex. Short for Alexandria; the name causes no end of confusion among my friends, who keep forgetting that when I say Alex, I mean a woman. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2013, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014/40 "2013-05-01T11:46:55Z")
I’m going to take a different tack and modify the situation to fit what Skald obviously intended. So I’ll change her physical appearance to be just all right (which also means she’s not really all that physically fit) and make her just a little bit stupid. So I’m really leaning towards not dating her again after that first date. Yeah, I think I’d at least give her another shot. I would definitely be more attracted to her because it meant she put others lives in front of her own, but that’s not the reason I would give her another chance. It’s more a matter of what she deserves. People who do good things deserve to have good things happen to them. It’s just as much a disservice not to recognize a good action as it is not to call someone out for a bad action. Good things don’t always happen to good people, but that’s not a desirable state. If it’s within my power, I try to make good things happen to good people. And I hope that, by doing so, I encourage other people to do the same. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-so-date-risks-life-to-save-you-from-a-violent-assault-are-you-more-less-attracted-than-before/657014.md?page=3)