# So, Star Wars is just under 3 months away...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [February 28, 2005, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262 "2005-02-28T07:06:06Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\
**Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/41 "2005-03-01T19:14:20Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Here’s one hater who just won’t go see it - I only saw the one with the wookies once; that was enough.

Nitpick: You probably mean the one with the Ewoks (Return of the Jedi). Ewoks: Two-foot tall teddy bears. Wookies: Eight-foot tall sasquatches. The only place we’ve ever seen multiple Wookies on screen at once was the holiday special, and I know you didn’t see that (even once), because if you had, you wouldn’t just be ambivalent.

I actually have hopes for this one. While there were definitely some bad mistakes in _Attack of the Clones_, there at least weren’t any of the same mistakes as in _Phantom Menace_. We had almost no Jar-Jar, no mention of midichlorians at all, no child actors, no “Yippee”, a villian (which was sorely lacking in _Menace_), and almost-plausible fights. Which tells me that Lucas is learning from his mistakes. If he also learned from his mistakes in _Clones_, then this one might actually be pretty good. He’s running out of mistakes to make.

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**Author:** ![well\_he\_s\_back](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3ab097/32.png) [@well\_he\_s\_back](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/well_he_s_back)\
**Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/42 "2005-03-01T19:14:44Z")

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To Rogue Racer - I usually don’t open Star Wars or Star Trek threads. (don’t know why but this seemed interesting to me). Sorry. Won’t do it again.

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**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\
**Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/43 "2005-03-01T19:28:03Z")

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So I guess this means Attack of the Clones will probably be on network TV just to prime people for the big event? Maybe I’ll try to sit through it. How much alcohol should I have available for anesthetic?

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**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\
**Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/44 "2005-03-01T19:28:35Z")

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> [@Chronos](#):
>
> Which tells me that Lucas is learning from his mistakes. If he also learned from his mistakes in _Clones_, then this one might actually be pretty good. He’s running out of mistakes to make.

That’s kind of what I thought. Whatever else you can say about Episode 3, it doesn’t look like there are any opportunities for a young Jedi to tell his beloved, “I don’t like sand.”

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**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\
**Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/45 "2005-03-01T22:07:18Z")

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> [@Nonsuch](#):
>
> That’s kind of what I thought. Whatever else you can say about Episode 3, it doesn’t look like there are any opportunities for a young Jedi to tell his beloved, “I don’t like sand.”

Yeah, it’s weird how a guy who was inducted into an order of monks when he was six years old isn’t good at talking to girls.

Silly Lucas.

-Joe

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**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\
**Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/46 "2005-03-01T22:16:27Z")

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> [@Miller](#):
>
> Oh, I’ll be there opening night, no doubt. I’ve seen every Star Wars movie since the age of two on opening night, in the same theater. (well, I probably wasn’t there opening night for Star Wars, but I was for the other four.) No way I’m breaking that tradition just 'cause I expect the movie to be a enormous festering pile of crap. Besides, _Attack of the Clones_ was easily one of the five worst movies I’ve ever seen in my life, and I fully expect RotS to be _even worse_. I’m talking Manos territory, here. How can I miss something like that?
> 
> I’ll probably pass on the Jedi robe, though.

I’m mostly going because I expect it to be _Manos_ bad. Shoot, it seemed like Lucus lifted whole sections from the script of **Sidehackers** for **Clones** , so I say the chances are pretty good we’ll see at least on Torgo.

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**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\
**Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/47 "2005-03-01T22:25:01Z")

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> [@Merijeek](#):
>
> Yeah, it’s weird how a guy who was inducted into an order of monks when he was six years old isn’t good at talking to girls.
> 
> Silly Lucas.

Ah, I see. Lucas is actually a brilliant writer, and any passages of dialogue I took to be stilted and wooden are in fact brilliantly subtle efforts at characterization.

I didn’t know they offered a course in Apologetics at Jedi Academy.

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**Author:** ![RogueRacer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7ab992/32.png) [@RogueRacer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RogueRacer)\
**Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/48 "2005-03-01T22:49:33Z")

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> [@well he's back](#):
>
> To Rogue Racer - I usually don’t open Star Wars or Star Trek threads. (don’t know why but this seemed interesting to me). Sorry. Won’t do it again.

By all means don’t let my post deter you. I didn’t mean to single you out. I just used your post as a springboard for what appears to be a mini-rant on rereading. I did think it was kind of funny that the “only” reason you were there was to respond to a post that far down. A little reading first maybe? 🙂

I’m not afraid to admit that I’m looking forward to this movie. I’m sure I’ll feel like a joyful kid again when the trademark opening music and crawl starts. I’ll put up with some crappy dialog if it means I get to see a light saber-wielding Yoda spinning around like a three year old on Jolt cola. I know Jar Jar’s death is too much to ask for, so keeping his screen time to a minimum like in AotC will be fine.

I guess all the haters coming in and pissing on my cornflakes gets a little tiresome. It’s kind of like how any thread mentioning a Costner movie will instantly spawn a half a dozen “Costner sucks” posts. Yes, I know the amatuer message board film critics are contractually obligated to make these posts to keep up their message board cred, but it’s so tired and such old news. How about just grabbing some popcorn and enjoying a movie for change?

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**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\
**Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/49 "2005-03-01T23:09:34Z")

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> [@Nonsuch](#):
>
> Ah, I see. Lucas is actually a brilliant writer, and any passages of dialogue I took to be stilted and wooden are in fact brilliantly subtle efforts at characterization.
> 
> I didn’t know they offered a course in Apologetics at Jedi Academy.

Yeah, that’s it. Totally. You’re a genius. Your mom must be proud.

-Joe

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/50 "2005-03-01T23:15:51Z")

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> [@RogueRacer](#):
>
> I guess all the haters coming in and pissing on my cornflakes gets a little tiresome. It’s kind of like how any thread mentioning a Costner movie will instantly spawn a half a dozen “Costner sucks” posts. Yes, I know the amatuer message board film critics are contractually obligated to make these posts to keep up their message board cred, but it’s so tired and such old news.

Sorry, I’ve been trying to avoid posting in new Star Wars threads for just this reason. Some times my willpower fails me. And it’s about to fail me again…

> [@](#):
>
> How about just grabbing some popcorn and enjoying a movie for change?

Because the movie are so inexcusably _awful_. There’s nothing enjoyable about them, except as an object lesson in what not to do with a 50 million dollar movie budget. You don’t get upset when people are unable to “just grab some popcorn and enjoy a movie” when the movie in question is, say, _Catwoman_? Or _Battlefield Earth_? Of course not, because there is absolutely nothing redeemable about those movies. The only possible way to wring any enjoyment out of them at all is by mocking them mericilessly and rhetorically tearing them apart.

_Attack of the Clones_ is that sort of movie. I paid eight bucks to see it, and damn it, I’m getting my money’s worth out of it, any way I can.

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**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\
**Post date:** [March 1, 2005, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/51 "2005-03-01T23:45:40Z")

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Oh, I’m totally going to see it. Probably not opening night, because the hoopla (especially around the Bay Area) just makes me cringe, but opening week at least.

This is one of those life-changing series for me, which could be considered sad if it weren’t just a statement of fact. I wouldn’t live in California if not for _Star Wars_.

_Star Wars_ made me the geek I am today.  
_The Empire Strikes Back_ made me care about two-dimensional characters.  
_Revenge of the Jedi_ taught me that the same movie could be both sublime (the speeder bike sequence) and abominable (Ewoks).  
_The Phantom Menace_ proved just how much a person can be disappointed, and showed how impeccably good effects just can’t save a good movie.

_Attack of the Clones_ was better than _Phantom Menace_, and reminded me of the dichotomy of geek movies – attempts at space-opera-noir-serial at the beginning: cool, attempts at romance: so very uncool. Arena cage match battle with a whole bunch of Jedis: very cool, feeble stabs at plot and character development: horribly uncool.

This next one is going to be the culmination of all that. I’ve already been burned, so there’s no artificially high expectations. All I know is that it’s going to have great effects, settings, and sound work, and most likely an intestine-wrenchingly bad plot and dialogue. And it’s going to show the event that I’ve been hearing about and looking forward to since I was about 7 years old.

Plus, as much as I hate the whole franchise now, I saw the trailer for _Revenge of the Sith_ in a theater recently. And when the Lucasfilm logo came on, it just made me kind of annoyed instead of excited like it used to. But by the end of the trailer, I just thought, “Wow, that actually looks like something I want to see. Weird.”

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**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/52 "2005-03-02T00:22:06Z")

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> [@SolGrundy](#):
>
> _Revenge of the Jedi_

:dubious: 😉

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**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/53 "2005-03-02T01:10:24Z")

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> [@Sunspace](#):
>
> This must be about that ‘Revenge of the Jedi’ rumour that went around after the second movie, right?
> 
> :: adjusts rose-coloured glasses ::

Ahhhh, my little friend. Not only was it not a rumor, but secreted away in a secret and safe place is a 1-Sheet. Not any old 1-Sheet. ( A 1-Sheet is the standard sized movie poster ).

This one is from the 2-week re-release of The Empire Strikes Back, that occurred just before The Return of the Jedi was originally released.

Except, that this has a banner imprinted as a part of it, running diagonally, that says very clearly, " Coming Soon- The Revenge Of The Jedi ". This printing of the 1-Sheet was recalled and destroyed by 20th Century Fox. They were never sent to theatres. At all. Why? Because the title was changed.

I happened to be in the Fox offices in Philadelphia on the right day…and walked out with one in a mailing tube. It’s darned close to pristine and would likely fetch a pretty penny on eBay.

So, no rumor. That was indeed the intended title of the third feature in the series.

Cartooniverse

p.s. of course, I’d never sell it on eBay, because it’s not mine to sell. 😉

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**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/54 "2005-03-02T01:11:37Z")

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[This is not it](http://www.evan.org/posters/rev1.jpg), but it does prove what I said. 🙂

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**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/55 "2005-03-02T01:39:46Z")

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> [@Miller](#):
>
> _Attack of the Clones_ is that sort of movie. I paid eight bucks to see it, and damn it, I’m getting my money’s worth out of it, any way I can.

So, will you be seeing Episode III or not?

-Joe

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/56 "2005-03-02T01:44:36Z")

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> [@Merijeek](#):
>
> So, will you be seeing Episode III or not?
> 
> -Joe

[Guess you missed this post.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=5898085&postcount=40)

> [@Miller](#):
>
> Oh, I’ll be there opening night, no doubt.

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**Author:** ![Keapon\_Laffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e274bd/32.png) [@Keapon\_Laffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keapon_Laffin)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/57 "2005-03-02T01:45:10Z")

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I’ve got my costume all ready. 😃

Can’t wait to see how Anakin betrays the Jedi.  
And if anyone does know… la la la la … I’m not listening…

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**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/58 "2005-03-02T01:47:56Z")

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> [@Cartooniverse](#):
>
> [This is not it](http://www.evan.org/posters/rev1.jpg), but it does prove what I said. 🙂

When we were kids, my best friend was a member of the official Star Wars fan club (name of fanletter: “Bantha Tracks”) and got a _Revenge of the Jedi_ patch as a membership bonus. Two years later, he was bragging about how he sold it for twenty bucks.

Now, he doesn’t like to talk about it.

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**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/59 "2005-03-02T04:57:46Z")

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> [@Nonsuch](#):
>
> That’s kind of what I thought. Whatever else you can say about Episode 3, it doesn’t look like there are any opportunities for a young Jedi to tell his beloved, “I don’t like sand.”

No worse than, “I recognized your foul stench when I was brought on board.”  
Seriously, I guess I just expect SW to be cheesy and hokey and such. It’s supposed to be. It’s based on all those old “Buck Rogers” type serials from the thirties.

And since there’s no way I could remain spoiler free, I have to say that so far it sounds pretty damn good.

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**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\
**Post date:** [March 2, 2005, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-star-wars-is-just-under-3-months-away/292262/60 "2005-03-02T05:15:13Z")

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Count me as another person who’s sick and tired of hearing the haters whine about how much the movie will suck. I’m convinced that half of the complaining is just because it’s become trendy to bash Star Wars. That happens to some movies. Take _Alien 3,_ for example. You always hear people talk about how horrible a movie it is, but you know what? It’s not. Another one is _Star Trek: Nemesis_. It gets ragged on a lot, but it’s really a good film; not the best Trek movie, but far from the worst.

I’m optimistic about Episode III. Plot-wise, there isn’t a whole lot left to be done. Palpatine is probably going to frame the Jedi for some horrible crime, and then send his troops after them. Obviously, he doesn’t succeed in crushing the Rebellion. Aside from that, all that’s left to do is to see what finally drives Anakin over to the Dark Side, and see what happens with Luke and Leia. And you know that the special effects will be top-notch, so I’ll be there.

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