# So the governor of South Carolina is MISSING? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 22, 2009, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655 "2009-06-22T22:30:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/101 "2009-06-25T00:38:07Z")
I’m gonna start to wonder if a conspiracy is afoot to contaminate our nation’s governors’ regular, respectable booze and powder cocaine with some more stupefying drugs. Either that or alien mind control, how do you explain the spate of misadventure from state chief execs. Sanford, Blago, Spitzer, etc. … Sweet Jesus on rollerskates… …and let me get this straight: he flies off to Argentina, abandoning his post leaving EVERYONE in the dark, risking blowing everything he has worked for, to BREAK UP with his lover? … And the Mrs. says that THIS has earned him a new chance?? Wait: does this mean she WAS in on the whole scheme, or that she approves of this way of handling things? Dang! Couldn’t he had done this OPENLY? Had a press conference announcing yes, I’ve had an affair, she’s in Argentina I’m confessing before anyone else outs me, I’m breaking it off? He’d have come out as a stand-up yeah-I-f\*ed-up-and-I-admit-it guy and it could not possibly have hurt him more than THIS. ---
**Author:** ![Mighty\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7bcc69/32.png) [@Mighty\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mighty_Girl)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/102 "2009-06-25T00:41:11Z")
> [@Mr.Moto](#): > > Well, with all this talk around about how voters wanted a candidate with experience in foreign affairs… Priceless! ---
**Author:** ![squeegee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/squeegee/32/14537_2.png) [@squeegee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/squeegee)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/103 "2009-06-25T00:41:24Z")
So, how does it take _five days_ to end an affair? ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/104 "2009-06-25T00:58:07Z")
> [@squeegee](#): > > So, how does it take _five days_ to end an affair? Well, there’s the “OhmygodIhaven’tseenyouinsolong” sex, followed by the “Igottagetthisinbeforewehavethetalk” sex. Then, there’s the “okaymaybeifIdothisthiswayshewillstopcryingandscreaming” sex. And then the goodbye sex. And the “oncemoreforgoodmeasuresex.” Along with the praying in between. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/105 "2009-06-25T00:58:56Z")
The real issue here is that the gov, more so than most cheating politicians, is just a big dumb high school kid with a crush. Witness this excerpt from this email to “Maria.” [QUOTE= The Honorable Mark Sanford] In the meantime please sleep soundly knowing that despite the best efforts of my head my heart cries out for you, your voice, your body, the touch of your lips, the touch of your finger tips and an even deeper connection to your soul. [/QUOTE] and compare it to the classic adolescent love song “Cherish” [QUOTE=The Association] Oh I could say I need you but then you’d realize That I want you just like a thousand other guys Who’d say they loved you With all the rest of their lies When all they wanted was to touch your face, your hands And gaze into your eyes [/QUOTE] Do the good people of South Carolina really want to entrust their well-being to someone whose emotional stability is at the level of a 1960’s pop song? ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/106 "2009-06-25T01:36:52Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > Well, there’s the “OhmygodIhaven’tseenyouinsolong” sex, followed by the “Igottagetthisinbeforewehavethetalk” sex. Then, there’s the “okaymaybeifIdothisthiswayshewillstopcryingandscreaming” sex. > > And then the goodbye sex. > > And the “oncemoreforgoodmeasuresex.” > > Along with the praying in between. You nailed it! Several times over. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/107 "2009-06-25T01:42:18Z")
nothing like over-the-top emails read by keith olbermann with swarmy romantic music. sounds like his wife has the moral high ground staked out and claimed. i’m sure that second chance stuff was just to sound good, i’m sure it is more like… oh, i think not, buckaroo! and she joins the sweet potato queens. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/108 "2009-06-25T02:12:36Z")
> [@chorpler](#): > > Well, **Shot Clock** did say he’s a Floridian … maybe we should see if he has a glass eye. I just read Stormy Weather by Carl Hiaasen…lol ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/109 "2009-06-25T02:19:54Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m gonna start to wonder if a conspiracy is afoot to contaminate our nation’s governors’ regular, respectable booze and powder cocaine with some more stupefying drugs. Either that or alien mind control, how do you explain the spate of misadventure from state chief execs. Sanford, Blago, Spitzer, etc. … Sweet Jesus on rollerskates… I liked the old system. If you needed a governor you just rented _Predator_ and picked somebody. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/110 "2009-06-25T02:25:15Z")
I think maybe his wife meant that breaking it off with this “good friend” has earned him a second chance. It shouldn’t take 7 days to end an affair, though…even excluding travel time. Heck, a phone call is the way most people on here advocate ending relationships! If this woman cared about him so much, after knowing him as a friend for so long… why did she not say, “I don’t want to ruin your career and your future, so please don’t call?” They both had to know the risks and the ruin involved. It’s not like he was going to be running into her at the office or the country club, reopening the wound every day. Idiots, the pair of them. ---
**Author:** ![chorpler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chorpler/32/2888_2.png) [@chorpler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chorpler)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/111 "2009-06-25T03:57:56Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > I just read Stormy Weather by Carl Hiaasen…lol Pretty awesome, isn’t it? That’s one of my favorite Hiaasen books. Although come to think of it, they’re all great. ---
**Author:** ![Lama\_Pacos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Lama\_Pacos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lama_Pacos)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/112 "2009-06-25T03:58:50Z")
So how jazzed is André Bauer right now? I mean, your boss having a sex scandal is kind of the raison d’etre of the second-in-command, right? I always wondered that with Pat Quinn, David Paterson, etc. You totally know Joe Biden prays every night that the President will start to get bored with the First Lady one of these days. ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/113 "2009-06-25T07:40:21Z")
> [@Lama\_Pacos](#): > > So how jazzed is André Bauer right now? (snip). This is the one (and only one) reason I would not like to see Gov. Sanford resign. Bauer is a joke. Poor South Carolina - a liar and cheat or an egomaniacal idiot. ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/114 "2009-06-25T07:48:38Z")
> [@SanibelMan](#): > > Are we sure his name isn’t really “Clinton Tyree”? Maybe he’ll end up subsisting off of grubs in the swamps. > > (Brownie points to anyone who gets the reference) Who is Carl Hiassen? ---
**Author:** ![bannerrefugee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c68b51/32.png) [@bannerrefugee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bannerrefugee)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/115 "2009-06-25T11:39:38Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > This really is awesome to watch from a distance (I left S.C. at 18 and never went back). The schaudenfreude is really too much. More implosion from the GOP, the party of “family values.” Me too Kolga I was on the coast and the over bearing religiosity of the place… I had to move to realize it, as a fish knows water once it is out. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/116 "2009-06-25T11:58:45Z")
> [@China\_Guy](#): > > Who is Carl Hiassen? [Floridian author](http://www.carlhiaasen.com/index.shtml) He has an amazing sense of humor, and hates how the tourist industry has fucked up florida ecologically and economically. I would recommend Native Tongue as a first read ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/117 "2009-06-25T12:47:46Z")
I refuse to beleive that a _Family Values_ Republican govenor had an extramarital affair with someone of the opposite sex. Didn’t he read the memo? I now submit to the world the term, Hiking the Applachian Trail is a euphemism for Having an Affair. Thanks, Governor Whatsyourface! ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/118 "2009-06-25T13:18:50Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > This really is awesome to watch from a distance (I left S.C. at 18 and never went back). The schaudenfreude is really too much. More implosion from the GOP, the party of “family values.” What does this mean? The Democrats _approved_ when John Edwards’ affair came out? ---
**Author:** ![DSYoungEsq](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/c6cbf5/32.png) [@DSYoungEsq](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DSYoungEsq)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/119 "2009-06-25T13:35:19Z")
No, **Bricker** , I think it must mean that Democrats aren’t “hypocrites” when they have affairs. They may not approve, they simply don’t disapprove in advance. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2009, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655/120 "2009-06-25T14:07:24Z")
> [@Bricker](#): > > What does this mean? The Democrats _approved_ when John Edwards’ affair came out? No, it means that few Democrats feel that, with respect to people in general, who does what with whom in bed should be a political issue, while most Republican politicians do (Gov. Sanford most definitely included). Few Democratic politicians make a political issue of the importance of, say, “the sanctity of marriage.” Most GOP politicians do. If you don’t make a political issue of the sanctity of marriage, and you cheat on your wife, you’re just being a jerk to your wife; end of story. If you DO make an issue over it, and then you cheat on your wife, then you’re saying that that “sanctity of marriage” BS wasn’t all that important to you, really, when the rubber hit the road. And if a political party is overwhelmingly against gay marriage because of the importance of preserving the “sanctity of marriage,” but aren’t willing to kick Vitter and Ensign out of their caucus for their violations of marriage’s sanctity, then the whole party doesn’t mean what it says, and the value its political stances should be appropriately downgraded as mere posturing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-the-governor-of-south-carolina-is-missing/500655.md?page=7)