# So, uh, how do I deepthroat without gagging? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 5, 2011, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296 "2011-09-05T18:58:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/1 "2011-09-05T18:58:57Z")
Really no delicate way to put this question, so… When I’m giving my boyfriend a blowjob, there’s still at least another couple of inches that don’t fit in my mouth. I’ve tried putting my face at a 90-degree angle to his penis to make more room and open my throat, and that helps. I also notice that if I’ve had a drink or two, my gag reflex is a lot less sensitive. The problem is, I’ve always had a pretty sensitive gag reflex, maybe a little more sensitive than normal. Even when I went to my doctor’s office as a kid and he used a tongue depressor, I couldn’t stand it if it was anywhere near my throat. I also find it really difficult to swallow pills, and that may have something to do with it. Anyways, almost any time I try to take his whole penis in, I end up gagging or fighting off the urge to gag, which kind of kills the sexiness. He really loves it when I can fit more in, and I love giving him as much satisfaction as possible. So, ladies (or men), advice? How do I train myself to ignore or lessen my gag reflex? ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/2 "2011-09-05T19:10:54Z")
I have a small mouth and a severely over-active gag reflex. I have to use a child’s toothbrush and I throw up at the dentist. Even just my own spit sometimes triggers that nasty dry-heave, gaggy feeling. It’s awful. IME, there really isn’t any way around it. I love oral but, seriously, I don’t get much more than the head in my mouth on a consistent basis. I can overcome it in spurts so I can take more of him in for just a single pass, which is surprising and sexy for him in that way, but to truly deepthroat? Forget about it. Good thing I have hands and a tongue. No one has ever complained about it to me. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/3 "2011-09-05T19:14:01Z")
When I was a kid I always had strep throat, and I spent a lot of time touching popsicles to my tonsils. I still do it today. I don’t have much of a gag reflex at all. Perhaps you could practice with popsicles? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/4 "2011-09-05T19:41:52Z")
Deep-throating is vastly overrated, in my opinion. What you want to do is lightly grip and manipulate the base of the penis while going down of the rest of the penis. The twin sensations, after some practice, while stimulate your partner much more than throat action alone. ---
**Author:** ![Emily\_Litella](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emily_litella/32/3370_2.png) [@Emily\_Litella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emily_Litella)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/5 "2011-09-05T19:42:16Z")
How about if you wrap your fingers around the base of his penis and stroke it while using your mouth as much as you can? Even measure how far you can go down with the top finger before it makes you gag. Use saliva to lube your hand (or lube). Occasionally try to see if you can go a little further. I never thought gagging and torturing myself was sexy anyway, and I haven’t had any complaints with this method. eta: What Czarcasm said… ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/6 "2011-09-05T20:12:50Z")
First, oral sex is more about the tongue than the lips, so if your tongue can reach an inch further than your lips, that counts. And second . . . if my partner is to be believed, you have to be born without any gag reflex whatsoever. If all else fails . . . find a partner who is “small.” ---
**Author:** ![sitchensis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sitchensis/32/4892_2.png) [@sitchensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sitchensis)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/7 "2011-09-05T20:34:23Z")
> [@Silver\_Fire](#): > > I can overcome it in spurts What a coincidence, when it spurts, it usually means I overcame I think there are two different issues and if you ask you BF about he will probably agree. 1. Good blowjobs; All you really need is to be enthusiastic and have fun (it’s not a chore). The best ones I have had never involved deep throating. All the good nerve endings are at the head. 2. Deep throating; satisfies a totally different kink, you may be able to satisfy this in different ways depending on why he likes it. If he likes the visual, than you could start with him soft, and give him the visual until his blood pressure catches up. That’s just my guess, talk to him ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/8 "2011-09-05T21:16:49Z")
Practice, practice, practice. I don’t know if it’ll work but I doubt you’ll hear any complaints. ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/9 "2011-09-05T21:57:28Z")
> [@sitchensis](#): > > 1. Good blowjobs; All you really need is to be enthusiastic and have fun (it’s not a chore). The best ones I have had never involved deep throating. All the good nerve endings are at the head. I definitely agree, I just really like his reactions whenever I take all of him in. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/10 "2011-09-05T22:02:58Z")
If it’s something you really want to do, the gag reflex can be overcome. You might be surprised at how many how-to articles can be found. You’d think those articles would be in women’s magazines, and maybe some are, but the ones I’ve seen were in men’s magazines. I’ll summarize them for you. If nothing else, it will help you when you have to take really big pills, and keep from gagging when your dental hygienist cleans your teeth. First, understand the anatomy. Here’s an illustration. [http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/imagepages/1118.htm](http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/imagepages/1118.htm) When you swallow food, the epiglottis closes the trachea, so you don’t get any oatmeal in your lungs. It also closes when you deepthroat, and the penis goes down the esophagus. In the diagram, everything looks too narrow, right? If you open your mouth and stick your tongue out, there’s a lot of room. Look for yourself, in front of a mirror. Understand that the gag is not so scary. Even if you throw up, it’s not a big deal, and you’ll learn to not gag. Don’t go right for the BF. Practice first with a soft, narrow dildo, or a frankfurter, and get used to having something in there, without the stress of lovemaking. When you think you are ready for the real thing, talk about it with him. You need to trust him to not push on the back of your head, and understand that you’re still working on the process. Tell him not to expect too much too soon. You’re not going right to a porn star’s ability in one night. By the way, new research found that massaging the temples helps to overcome the gag reflex. Be patient. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/11 "2011-09-05T22:03:13Z")
Do you actually throw up when you gag? See, that’s the trick for me: I learned long ago that I may gag, but I don’t throw up. Learning that helped me relax a bit- a gag here or there isn’t going to kill me (and let’s be honest here: some guys think that’s hot). Plus, once you know you aren’t going to ruin the moment by barfing everywhere, you can practice more, easing up the gag reflex over time. And for everyone saying she should do the hand method and such- those are all important parts of a good blow job no doubt, but a well placed bob or two with the whole thing down the throat seems to be a rather enjoyable thing for most guys. Certainly, I wouldn’t exclusively sit there jamming his entire dong down my throat for 10 minutes, but here and there it adds a certain something. ---
**Author:** ![Stauderhorse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Stauderhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stauderhorse)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/12 "2011-09-05T22:18:42Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Do you actually throw up when you gag? I don’t throw up, but I will cough hard and stop to breathe for a second. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/13 "2011-09-05T23:12:10Z")
Excuse me, I need to go see what the wife’s up to. ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2011, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/14 "2011-09-05T23:12:14Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > Don’t go right for the BF. Practice first with a soft, narrow dildo, **or a frankfurter** Not a frankfurter. That seems like a risk for it breaking off leaving an inch or two, followed by choking. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/15 "2011-09-06T01:23:34Z")
> [@sitchensis](#): > > What a coincidence, when it spurts, it usually means I overcame Ha, I didn’t even notice the wording. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/16 "2011-09-06T01:32:52Z")
I posed this question to Nina Hartley once - she agreed that most men don’t care, it’s over-rated. Use your hands, show some enthusiasm. Most of the strongest sensation is in the head anyway (from what I have been told). ---
**Author:** ![Shawn\_K\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Shawn\_K\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shawn_K_1)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/17 "2011-09-06T02:22:57Z")
I’ve been told that sore throat sprays have a bit of anesthetic or something in them so that if you spray the back of your throat before you go down it’ll kill the gag reflex, no idea if it’s true though. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/18 "2011-09-06T03:47:08Z")
> [@Shawn\_K\_1](#): > > I’ve been told that sore throat sprays have a bit of anesthetic or something in them so that if you spray the back of your throat before you go down it’ll kill the gag reflex, no idea if it’s true though. It’s not. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/19 "2011-09-06T04:50:26Z")
You have to desensitize your gag reflex over time. If you don’t like gagging, retching, and possibly inducing vomiting, this will be a pretty awful thing to do to yourself. I’m in the same boat with the oversensitivity. But being able to deep throat is totally not worth sticking shit into my throat frequently until it stops bothering me so much… ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2011, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296/20 "2011-09-06T13:26:59Z")
A woman I know once told me that her trick is to squeeze her thumb in her left fist. I tried it (using my finger) and I didn’t gag but it wasn’t especially pleasant, either. I’ve no idea if there’s a physiological reason for it or if it’s just a “concentrating on this so you don’t think about that” sort of thing. I suspect the latter but “works” is “works”. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-uh-how-do-i-deepthroat-without-gagging/595296.md?page=2)