# So we are about to have our first child...any tips or afvice? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 21, 2011, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-we-are-about-to-have-our-first-child-any-tips-or-afvice/575517 "2011-03-21T21:22:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2011, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-we-are-about-to-have-our-first-child-any-tips-or-afvice/575517/81 "2011-03-26T01:29:50Z")
> [@Truman Burbank](#): > > Make a lullabye tape, and sing to them often. It’s amazing how many love song/ballad type pop songs make great lullabyes. I often sang my babies to sleep with such top-40 hits as _Dream a Little Dream_ (Mamas and Papas) and _Run For The Roses_ (Dan Fogelberg). The fact is, if your baby likes hearing you sing, he won’t much care _what_ you’re singing. There’s no rule that says it has to be a traditional lullabye. Just sing. And be grateful you have an audience that is, as of yet, incapable of throwing rotten tomatoes! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2011, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-we-are-about-to-have-our-first-child-any-tips-or-afvice/575517/82 "2011-03-26T08:01:38Z")
So true. For a while, my son’s go-to lullabye was Simon and Garfunkel’s “So Long, Frank Loyd Wright.” ---
**Author:** ![StuffLikeThatThere](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc8723/32.png) [@StuffLikeThatThere](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StuffLikeThatThere)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2011, 12:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-we-are-about-to-have-our-first-child-any-tips-or-afvice/575517/83 "2011-03-26T12:41:40Z")
Lots of good stuff here. Let me just add a few quick things. 1. No matter what you do, someone out there will advise you to do the opposite. Of course the correct thing to do is to thank them for their interest, and let it go. This is much harder for me than for my husband. If you find this easy, check with your wife. She may find it much more difficult. If so, encourage her. When I get thrown by a Big Meanie, my husband tells me I’m a good mom and I’m of course right about whatever stupid issue it is and gives me specific reasons why he thinks so. It brings me back from the people-pleasing brink, and also helps me not get thrown so much by the Next Big Meanie. Tweak as needed for specific personalities, of course. 2. Remember the immortal words of my husband’s friend Marlin, “If everybody is alive at the end of the day, it was a good day. Anything else is just gravy.” I cannot tell you how many times I thought of this in the first few months after each baby. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2011, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-we-are-about-to-have-our-first-child-any-tips-or-afvice/575517/84 "2011-03-26T13:48:59Z")
> [@StuffLikeThatThere](#): > > my husband tells me I’m a good mom and I’m of course right about whatever stupid issue it is I would add to this that it’s both important _and_ helpful to _know for certain_ that you ARE going to screw some of the stuff up. Every parent does it, and it’s amazing how often it comes out all right anyway! ---
**Author:** ![Lacunae\_Matata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2011, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-we-are-about-to-have-our-first-child-any-tips-or-afvice/575517/85 "2011-03-26T14:10:19Z")
So much good advice here, and someone may have already offered this one. I apologize if I missed it: Despite all of your best intentions, regardless of how prepared and loving and patient you are, you will reach the end of your rope at some point. You’ll be exhausted, and overwhelmed, and you will become as frustrated as you’ve ever been in your life with a baby who won’t sleep, or won’t be soothed, or has colic, or whatever. At that point, it’s perfectly okay to put the screaming baby into his crib, walk away, close the door, and lock yourself into the bathroom/bedroom/wherever to scream into a pillow, or cry, or whatever you need to do to gather yourself. It won’t hurt the baby to cry for a few minutes alone, and your “escape” doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent - just that you’re a parent. Happens to all of us. Also? Now is a good time to get out of the habit of using words you don’t want baby to learn. He may not be able to pronounce his own name clearly until he’s 11, but I guarantee you that he will gleefully repeat $@%&\*! quite distinctly, and usually in front of Grandma! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2011, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-we-are-about-to-have-our-first-child-any-tips-or-afvice/575517/86 "2011-03-26T14:44:19Z")
I thought of a new one. Right after the delivery my doula took a picture of my daughter as they were weighing her, she also took a picture of the clock at time of delivery. My husband would have never thought to take those, but the weighing picture is one of my favorites. ---
**Author:** ![Lochdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/edb3f5/32.png) [@Lochdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lochdale)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2011, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-we-are-about-to-have-our-first-child-any-tips-or-afvice/575517/87 "2011-03-27T23:54:23Z")
Thank you for all of the great advice. We’re still on wait mode but it could be any day. I really appreciate this and I’m reminded why I love these message boards! ---
**Author:** ![matt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@matt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-we-are-about-to-have-our-first-child-any-tips-or-afvice/575517/88 "2011-03-28T07:08:55Z")
Expect the following changes: 1. You will talk about poo. 2. You will talk gibberish to the baby 3. You will rock the baby, even when you are not holding the baby. You will rock an empty pram. You will rock in general. This is normal. 4. You will not mind coming into contact with baby’s poo, wee, drool or spew. You may even photograph the event. 5. You will sing. You may even compose. I’m as musical as a dustbin lid and tone deaf besides, and yet I have many stirring ditties to my credit including “The Doodle Song” and “Hey Big Smiler”. I have no explanation. 6. You will be moistened, particularly on one shoulder. 7. Being smiled at or laughed at by your baby will be so ridiculously rewarding, you may suspect a switch has been thrown in your brain 8. _Your_ baby will be the most beautiful in the complete history of babies. Other people’s, not so much, but you won’t tell them that. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2011, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-we-are-about-to-have-our-first-child-any-tips-or-afvice/575517/89 "2011-03-28T07:35:12Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > It’s amazing how many love song/ballad type pop songs make great lullabyes. I often sang my babies to sleep with such top-40 hits as _Dream a Little Dream_ (Mamas and Papas) and _Run For The Roses_ (Dan Fogelberg). The fact is, if your baby likes hearing you sing, he won’t much care _what_ you’re singing. There’s no rule that says it has to be a traditional lullabye. Just sing. And be grateful you have an audience that is, as of yet, incapable of throwing rotten tomatoes! 😉 My parents had several 45rpms by these singers, Nina and Frederik - I think they were German, but they sang in English. Their cover of “Little boxes” was just great for putting little boys to sleep; once the kids got older, it was great for dancing to - and once my English got good enough, it made me go “:smack:” It has been mentioned, but remember: “the kid made a noise” should not be the trigger for “grab the kid, check diaper, pop nipple in mouth, freak out if none of that appears to be what the kid needed” - often, the kid didn’t need anything and the noise was just random liveliness. Seriously. A burp is not the signal for an Exorcist-like eruption of vomit and a “gmrrrmhgm” coming from the cradle means the kid’s alive and well, let the kid rest and enjoy your own kid-off time. This one is from my sister in law, who still remembers the humiliation she suffered at age 5: it is not “chichi”, it’s meat; it is not “a meow”, it is a cat; it is not “a woof”, it is a dog! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-we-are-about-to-have-our-first-child-any-tips-or-afvice/575517.md?page=4)