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If one or both of those aren’t immediately effective, don’t bother wasting anymore sleep time, just put the kid in the car and go for a nice long drive.
Thanks for starting this thread Lochdale!
My first baby is due in 10 weeks and I love picking thru the advice. I’m happy to see that your lady has such an interested and involved partner! Good for you.
Ive been reading ‘The Happiest Baby on the Block’, which essentially deals with the first 3 months of the baby’s life and how to deal with colicky babies. Ive really connected to the material and the ideas in the book and would like to reccomend it to you.
Good luck to you! Report back often on how its going!
And as I was called out of line, I would call this mod note out of line. I posted useful advise, and I would consider what I said there useful advice.
It is simply unfortunate that too many new parents get so wrapped up in the fact that their new child is the center of their world that they do not pause to consider that their child is not the center of everyone elses lives.
It well serves them then to keep this in mind so that they don’t become unbearable with their friends, family and total strangers.
Correct me if I’m wrong, please. I think the post that originally got you ‘called out’ was trying to say “Don’t try to make your baby the center of everyone else’s world; it won’t go well, or endear you to anyone, and may drive people away faster than a combination of severe BO and halitosis”, but it came across (well, to me, on first reading) as sounding like you saying “WE don’t give a fuck; don’t try to make your upcoming baby the center of our universe”. Then, when someone else said that sounded harsh, maybe you could have clarified, but you didn’t, thereby making it seem even more like you were saying that you, personally, are the one who doesn’t give a fuck. Which would leave the rest of us to wonder why you were bothering to post in the thread.
I’m seriously not trying to be snarky here. I’m trying to clarify, for my own edification.
A good stroller is worth it. You will be living with that thing for a long time.
My best advice is about the baby shower and diapers. I strongly suggest that you offer a raffle at the baby shower(s), and that the purchase price of a ticket is a box of diapers any size. Offer a prize of something worth $50-$100 in return so people are more inclined to enter.
You will need a lot of diapers. A LOT. Diapers are very pricey. We did this and didn’t have to buy our first set of diapers until our child was almost a year old.
Also, don’t let other people scare you. Other people’s fear mongering is their own experience and you are going to find your own terrifying things about having a kid that they didn’t mention, and realize that a lot of stuff they worried about doesn’t bug you. Never forget, this is *your *kid.
Oh, and I noticed someone mentioned the Ergo carrier, and another mentioned a Bjorn and a third mentioned a sling. I tried all three and throw my support behind the sling for the first couple of months and then switch to the Ergo. Bjorns hurt my back if I was carrying her for more than a few minutes.
OH, and while the first two weeks are legitimately really hard it gets much easier really fast.
Ok, the clarication is that your baby is NOT the center of everyone elses world and you should not be insulted, slighted, angry or irrational about that. It just is. Look, I’m glad the OP is having a baby and wish only good things for them and the child. I have a friend whose wife is due in June after several disappointments. I wish only the best for them and will be very happy to see the child and pictures of the child. I will NOT be happy if all of our discourse then becomes about that child.
Ok?
I came back to the thread to advise the OP and others with small children to be sure to preserve their valuable pictures. Please don’t be like some people I have worked with who took hundreds of pictures on their smartphone (one was the final months of a much loved grandmother, but same sentimental value of the pics), but never saved one of them to their computer, and then something happened to their phone.
Print them. Email them. Burn them to CDs and stash them away. DO NOT rely on flash drives, cell phone, digital cameras and computer drives to permanently preserve your memories.
Oh, and splurge once and a while and get professional prints for yourself and your family.
Ok, last thing.
I am not trying to push a philosophy on you here, but, if you are looking for a book about babies there is nothing that I have found that is a more comprehensive resource than The Baby Book by Dr. Sears. I am a big research person, so I read a bunch of them (still have most of them somewhere), and nothing else came close as a one stop near encyclopedic resource.
My wife and I happen to like attachment parenting, and used a modified form with our daughter, but even if you don’t go the attachment route I still think this is a great book because it isn’t only about the parenting philosophy it is also about child development and what to expect at what stages as well as general physical stuff to look out for. It’s a really really great book. Any question we had at any point was addressed and answered in this book.
And I tried them all and couldn’t get over the “oh my god, I’m going to drop my baby on the asphalt at Target getting her into these damn things.” I really wanted to be a sling mom (or some sort of ‘wear your baby’) and I never could.
Likewise with a stroller…the one you will get so much use out of…? Ours was barely used. My son arrived home at six months. My daughter was born six months later - and suddenly I needed a double stroller - after being on partial bed rest with pregnancy - so we had barely used the stroller. But taking two kids out was more than I was up for with two little ones at home until my daughter was older - we ended up using a wagon or two cheap umbrella strollers.
That whole breastfeeding lying down being essential - yeah. Didn’t work for us - we tried. We had to feed in a certain chair in a certain position (my back is still screwed up - my daughter is eleven). We survived, even though I had to sit in a rocker for night feedings. Never could breastfeed out either - she just wouldn’t consider it.
This leads me to my important advice - borrow what you can. Find someone with a baby six months older than yours - maybe a few years if you are looking for a stroller or a crib. You don’t want to drop $120 on a baby swing your baby hates or $50 on a sling you don’t like. The crap will accumulate (and eventually, you need to get rid of it - some parent of a toddler is looking at their exersaucer right now and saying “who do we know who is expecting?”) Spend the money opening up a 529 instead. Be flexible.
Pathetic. The best advice for a new parent is what they should converse with their friends about? Truly, these posts had nothing to offer this thread. Love the subtext of “It’s not all about you and your child being the centre of the universe; it’s about MEEEEEEeeee”.
To the OP: I was told variously that the first six weeks or the first twelve weeks are the absolute worst. I had them described as a living nightmare, hell on earth and agonizing. After all that, I was braced for the most challenging and awful time in my life, and it came as something of a pleasant surprise to discover that it simply wasn’t that bad. The colic that set in at week 3 was rough, but after what I’d been told I had expected worse than even that, and at those very worst of moments I still had that shimmering end post of six weeks (or, worst case, possibly twelve) when things would improve. I felt like I could endure it for that long. Sure enough, when she was six weeks old the colic went away and the smiles started and things were better from there on in.
Ultimately, I felt more sleep deprived and wrecked by pregnancy than by looking after a newborn. I hope you two find the worst of it is actually behind you too 
Seconded.
Garage sales are your friend. Babies grow out of clothing very quickly. You can often find very nice clothing and toys at church yard sales on the cheap. Buy nice outfits for special occasions but go after used clothing for everyday events.
The only two things I would not buy used are crib mattresses and shoes.
Not the advice you intended to give (you said borrow what you can, which is also good), but I think it was good advice all the same. Possibly the best advice in the thread.
I intended to give them both…
Borrow what you can.
and separately
Be Flexible - it ain’t gonna work out like you planned, you might as well not fight it.
(Also, not advice, but something to look forward to as a parent. As a non-parent, you imagine how perfect you will be, how perfect your child will be. Imaginary kids of people planning to be parents are the best raised kids ever! And future parents are way above average in parenting skills! And often non-parents make the mistake of making statements aloud in the vicinity of parents like “I don’t understand people who can’t control their toddler in restaurants.” “I don’t understand what is so hard about potty training.” “My kids will only engage in enriching and educational experiences.” “Why do they let their child act like that?” Very soon, you’ll get to laugh at yourself and you’ll understand why your friends with children would roll their eyes. Parenting is an exercise in teaching you humility.)
It’s bene mentioned, but accept offers for help.
Your instinct as a couple will be to cocoon and do it yourself. Worse, at first you may find it hard to have one of you sleep while the other takes care of baby. You’ll feel guilty and want to be up too.
Get over this. Let each other sleep. And get friends and family to help at every possible opportunity. Taking care of a baby really isn’t that hard… it’s mostly common sense… but the first few months the sleep deprivation can suck pretty bad, unless you get help.
Beyond the very rudimentary health issues, raise your baby in a manner you feelcomfortable raising your baby. Love him and cuddle him and keep him healthy and you’ll all be just fine. Play with his little toes and take a lot of pictures. Spend a lot of time studying him, watching him, and reading about how babies learn, because it’s really quite a fascinating little experiment.
Congratulations! I have two pieces of advice which I hope will help you.
The first is, if your wife is breastfeeding, do it as soon as possible. In the delivery room as soon as the baby is in her arms. Seriously. Everyone there has seen a titty. Of my five, the only one I ever had a problem with was the first, who was handed to me with a pacifier. However, if it doesn’t work out, he’ll live. I stopped trying after three weeks with that one, and should have stopped sooner. That baby is now 14 yo and 5’8", so yano, it’s ok.
My second advice is something I learned from an old friend, and its the best advice I have ever heard. I have heard a lot. Now, this is not for now, but earlier than you think. You are not your son’s friend. He will have a lot of friends, you are not one of them. That is not a part of your job description. Your job is to keep him on the straight and narrow when his friends would lead him astray. He will not like this. That’s ok. Really.
God bless.
You will find that the days may crawl, but the years are just going to fly.
Having a child, the good things, the fun things, the accomplishments - there is no higher high. The low things know no bottom. All the joys and sorrows of parenthood MUST be shared with friends and families.
Good luck, you’re all in for a trip!
Choose one:
Flee
Fake your own death
Get a job
But there is no point in buying shoes for some time to come. Those soft-soled slippers (Robeez or various knockoffs), socks, or bare feet are the best things for your baby in most circumstances until he is a secure walker. The Robeez and socks are fine to get used, and the bare feet you get for free.
Yes, yes, yes! I’ve been friendly with all three of my girls, to the point that they feel quite comfortable coming to me with problems or questions, even if they are very personal in nature. This is good. But when push comes to shove, I’ve made it clear: “I’m not your ‘buddy’, I’m your mother”. Children will have maybe millions of potential friends in the course of their lives, but only one mother and only one father. It’s quite important to, you know, parent. That doesn’t mean it has to be joyless or you have to be a sonofabitch (although you may have to, at some point in the future). By all means, have fun! It is fun (at least some of the time!), so enjoy it. But yeah, when it comes down to a choice between being his ‘friend’ and being his father, be his father.
Oh, also, newborn baby toes are delicious and fun to nibble, as well as being calorie-free! 
Lochdale,
No 1. During labour make sure she hears you telling her how well she’s doing - I can’t tell you how much this meant to me - it really helped
No 2. If breastfeeding - she needs to drink lots or water, seriously, lots
No 3. Don’t underestimate the impact of baby blues (note: this in NOT post natal depression). For me it started about 5 days after each birth. I just cried, or felt on the verge of tears, all the time and it lasted for 7 to 10 days. At this time all I needed was hugs, kisses and reassurance - A LOT
No 4. Breastfeeding is HARD WORK - Breastfeeding itself makes one very tired, even once baby is sleeping through she will still be exhausted. Help her whenever you can.
Me: mother of 2 boys (27 months & 8 months)
Good luck to you. I hope it all goes well