# So what are the first thirty-three rules? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 6, 2009, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-first-thirty-three-rules/505551 "2009-08-06T17:43:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Risha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5fc32e/32.png) [@Risha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Risha)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2009, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-first-thirty-three-rules/505551/21 "2009-08-11T23:31:02Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > **Doug,** those sound more like laws than rules. But, they ring ever so true. [Jurisimprudence](http://jurisimprudence.wikispaces.com/) Example: [Sally Struthers Law and Philanthropists Corollary](http://jurisimprudence.wikispaces.com/Sally+Struthers+Law+and+Philanthropists+Corollary). \*Sally Struthers’ Law: Anyone who disregards an issue or her opponent’s opinion about an issue as irrelevant because said issue is not as significant as saving the starving children shall not only lose the argument, but recieve an all-expenses-paid trip to the nearest third-world country, and a complementary fruit basket. Philanthropist’s Corollary: Anyone who mocks his opponent in an argument for spending time arguing on the Internet instead of “making the world a better place” shall be forced to submit a cross-referenced list of all the good deeds he has done on that particular day. Then, no matter what said list contains, he shall be smacked upside the head, because even if he is the modern-day equivalent of Mother Theresa, he is still a big fat hypocrite.\* ---
**Author:** ![dragonlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f8ce5/32.png) [@dragonlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragonlady)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-first-thirty-three-rules/505551/22 "2009-08-12T00:19:36Z")
Rule number one: Don’t stick your dick in the crazy. What??? ---
**Author:** ![Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ed655f/32.png) [@Crown\_Prince\_of\_Irony](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crown_Prince_of_Irony)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-first-thirty-three-rules/505551/23 "2009-08-12T00:26:04Z")
> [@dragonlady](#): > > Rule number one: Don’t stick your dick in the crazy. > > What??? Make that Rules # 1 through 33 and I think we have ourselves an answer to the OP. . . ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-first-thirty-three-rules/505551/24 "2009-08-12T00:29:07Z")
Twenty-three posts, and no one has mentioned: Never get involved in a land war in Asia. Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-first-thirty-three-rules/505551/25 "2009-08-12T02:06:29Z")
Dammit **freckafree** , you beat me to the punchline. 🙂 (I couldn’t believe that no one had mentioned those undisputable rules either) ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-first-thirty-three-rules/505551/26 "2009-08-12T03:07:30Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > [Rules of the Internet](http://www.rulesoftheinternet.com/index.php5?title=Main_Page). Beware, memes lurk behind every rule. It helps if you’re familiar with 4chan. If you can even begin to scroll down that list, you must be 14 years old. ---
**Author:** ![Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/13edae/32.png) [@Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interconnected_Series_of_Tubes)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-first-thirty-three-rules/505551/27 "2009-08-12T05:04:48Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > If you can even begin to scroll down that list, you must be 14 years old. Most old (internet) farts don’t get 4chan, it’s okay. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-first-thirty-three-rules/505551.md?page=1)