# So what are the hip insults these days? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 4, 2004, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071 "2004-12-04T16:34:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![sidle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee59a6/32.png) [@sidle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sidle)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/1 "2004-12-04T16:34:13Z")
The Dope was where I first heard the phrase “asshat”. Now, I realize that’s an oldie but goodie, but it always cracked me up. Since I don’t have much online time anymore I’m wondering what the good insults are these days, either on here, elsewhere online, or IRL. Roast me! ---
**Author:** ![Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a5b964/32.png) [@Sunshine\_and\_Smiles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunshine_and_Smiles)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/2 "2004-12-04T17:26:55Z")
okay, toolbag. You just wait until the real pricks get in here, they’ll tear you a new one. That’s 3 of my favorite insults. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/3 "2004-12-04T17:38:28Z")
Bend over prag I’ll show you what a hip insult really is. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/4 "2004-12-04T17:45:58Z")
A **clanger** is sort of a human wind chime. Noise all the time, no meaning. I mean no offense to our SMBD poster **Small Clanger.** Hey, I didn’t choose your username. It’s sorta like all those guys named Dick. ---
**Author:** ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/5 "2004-12-04T17:46:49Z")
Yo mama is so big that when she sits around updating her blog, she sits **around** the blog. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/6 "2004-12-04T18:19:32Z")
Just bang on your keyboard and tell people it’s “leet” for something so insulting their eyes would melt. If they ask what it means, roll your eyes and let them know that they are too stupid to even be insulted correctly. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/7 "2004-12-04T18:40:56Z")
Grammer insult’s our still populer. ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/8 "2004-12-04T18:44:13Z")
All the cool kids say “sit on it” and “kiss my grits”!! ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/9 "2004-12-04T18:52:53Z")
Sounds as if sidle could use this: [http://www.sonic.net/maledicta/journal.html](http://www.sonic.net/maledicta/journal.html) Now get thee hence, thou whey-faced loon. (Hip is fine, but I’m more of a classicist, myself). ---
**Author:** ![picker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/picker/32/13969_2.png) [@picker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picker)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/10 "2004-12-04T19:15:51Z")
Well, being 32, I’m not so young and hip, but I gleefully pepper anyone who cuts me off in traffic or otherwise displays some staggering ass-hattery with any of the following: fucktard (my personal favorite) cock-knocker monkey-fucker and the classic, dingleberry. ---
**Author:** ![feppytweed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/feppytweed/32/4280_2.png) [@feppytweed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/feppytweed)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/11 "2004-12-04T20:23:52Z")
ive always been partial to: “Your face could stop a clock” ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/12 "2004-12-04T20:30:44Z")
I came in here to say “asshat”. Oh well. Ass-monkey is one I’ve been using a lot lately. Actually, I tend to take “ass” and monkey" and add them to lots of other standard insults, just to spice them up. Also “whoore” as a new twist on “whore”. Dress slutty to talk on your cell in the school bathroom? Well, you’re a whoore! Just because. The rest of the insults I use are nowhere _close_ to hip, because my friends and I use stuff we learn in school and twist that into insults. About as geeky as you can get. But the fun part is, people have no clue what we’re talking about. ---
**Author:** ![congodwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e36b37/32.png) [@congodwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/congodwarf)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/13 "2004-12-04T20:36:36Z")
At 24, I’m still pretty young but I’ve never been hip. However, I do have some favorites. My current favorite is… cocknobber 😃 I’ve never called anyone this. It just sounds so damn funny! I do have a book filled with insults - all in classical Latin. Puella defututa - a thoroughly tried and tested nymphomaniac 😃 It sounds so much more colorful than “whore” ---
**Author:** ![Knorf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/58956e/32.png) [@Knorf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knorf)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/14 "2004-12-04T20:42:32Z")
“Buttmunch.” Dunno whether it’s hip but one hears it around. “Asshair.” Getting obsolete. Superseded by “asshat.” “Tiny little wipers of other people’s bottoms.” Always a classic, but always hip. ---
**Author:** ![spingears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@spingears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spingears)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/15 "2004-12-04T20:58:42Z")
> [@Knorf](#): > > “Buttmunch.” Dunno whether it’s hip but one hears it around. Asshair." Getting obsolete. Superseded by “asshat.” “Tiny little wipers of other people’s bottoms.” Always a classic, but always hip. Bungfodder ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/16 "2004-12-04T21:12:38Z")
Just tell the women they’re fat and/or old and the men that they have tiny penises. The classics never go out of style. ---
**Author:** ![vl\_mungo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc8723/32.png) [@vl\_mungo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vl_mungo)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/17 "2004-12-04T22:00:01Z")
> [@The King of Soup](#): > > Now get thee hence, thou whey-faced loon. (Hip is fine, but I’m more of a classicist, myself). Yes… no one likes to be called a poltroon or a cad or a merkin. I’ve always liked the English insult, “prat” was well. ---
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/18 "2004-12-04T22:05:24Z")
Ass-ratchet. I wish I could see things your way, but I can’t get my head that far up my ass. 😃 Adam ---
**Author:** ![SpectBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@SpectBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpectBrain)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/19 "2004-12-04T22:16:51Z")
> [@Agent Foxtrot](#): > > Ass-ratchet. > > I wish I could see things your way, but I can’t get my head that far up my ass. 😃 > > Adam who you calling an Adam?? ---
**Author:** ![SpectBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@SpectBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpectBrain)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2004, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071/20 "2004-12-04T22:18:03Z")
> [@SpectBrain](#): > > who you calling an Adam?? oh and I forgot the 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-hip-insults-these-days/278071.md?page=2)