# So what are the uses for an amputated testicle? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 28, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189 "2010-11-28T18:49:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/1 "2010-11-28T18:49:42Z")
A friend of mine has cancer, and is going to have to have a testicle amputated. We’re putting together a list of what he can do with said body part after the operation–the wilder the better! I know you Dopers will come through for me–the guys especially, after they uncross their legs and take their hands away from their groins! ---
**Author:** ![Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fried_Dough_Ho)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/2 "2010-11-28T18:54:39Z")
[Dinner](http://www.google.com/images?q=rocky+mountain+oysters&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi&biw=1280&bih=564) ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/3 "2010-11-28T19:05:04Z")
: uncurls from fetal position : in a martini : goes back to fetal position for remainder of thread : ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/4 "2010-11-28T19:21:56Z")
Put it in a bowl, blindfold kids at Halloween, and tell 'em it’s an eyeball. ---
**Author:** ![Av8trix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/90db22/32.png) [@Av8trix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Av8trix)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/5 "2010-11-28T19:30:03Z")
TSA training device. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/6 "2010-11-28T19:35:44Z")
Feeze it in an ice-cube and serve it in a highball? ---
**Author:** ![Norse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a9adbd/32.png) [@Norse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Norse)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/7 "2010-11-28T19:54:23Z")
::uncrosses legs and takes hands away from groin:: What about something I was too sick to consider doing with my appendix when they took that one out? Put testicle in a small jar of alcohol/formaldehyde, make nice stand for jar, display on mantelpiece ::crosses legs and puts hands firmly on groin again, returns to fetal position:: ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/8 "2010-11-28T20:01:24Z")
Rocky Mountain Oysters, duh! ---
**Author:** ![Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/a88e57/32.png) [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fried_Dough_Ho)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/9 "2010-11-28T20:05:12Z")
> [@BrotherCadfael](#): > > Rocky Mountain Oysters, duh! Did you even see my post? ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/10 "2010-11-28T21:04:46Z")
> [@Fried\_Dough\_Ho](#): > > Did you even see my post? Your post said “Dinner”. ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/11 "2010-11-28T21:23:01Z")
Foosball! ---
**Author:** ![notfrommensa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f14d63/32.png) [@notfrommensa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/notfrommensa)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/12 "2010-11-28T21:28:35Z")
FORE! ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/13 "2010-11-28T21:31:28Z")
[Leonard Betts]You have something I need…[/Betts] ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/14 "2010-11-28T21:36:09Z")
Will this be a normal-sized testicle, or one grossly swollen by cancer or inflammation or something into an object of more-interesting discussion? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/15 "2010-11-28T22:00:22Z")
put it under his pillow and wait for the necrotic gonad fairy ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/16 "2010-11-28T22:16:50Z")
typ[iomnm woityhj m,yu nmopsder ---
**Author:** ![orcenio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/orcenio/32/1036_2.png) [@orcenio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/orcenio)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/17 "2010-11-28T22:39:02Z")
Ping-Pong! ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/18 "2010-11-28T23:11:41Z")
sprinkle liberally with catnip: instant kitty toy! ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/19 "2010-11-28T23:13:36Z")
He’s a pinball wizard There’s got to be a twist A pinball wizard He’s got such a supple wrist… ---
**Author:** ![Otara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a88e4f/32.png) [@Otara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otara)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/20 "2010-11-28T23:31:12Z")
Wine cork substitute? Otara [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189.md?page=2)