# So what are the uses for an amputated testicle? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 28, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189 "2010-11-28T18:49:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2010, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/21 "2010-11-28T23:46:45Z")
Bronze it for a paperweight. ---
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/22 "2010-11-29T00:15:37Z")
Do they still make Plasticast? That was a toy back in the 1960s where you could entomb things in clear plastic. Would make an interesting item for one’s desk. ---
**Author:** ![Chicken\_Fingers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Chicken\_Fingers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicken_Fingers)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/23 "2010-11-29T02:10:48Z")
Plasticize it and make a nice pendant. ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/24 "2010-11-29T02:32:29Z")
Can’t think of any ideas for your friend, but I did want to say that being a surgeon who amputates testicles must take a lot of balls. Thank you, I’ll be here all week! ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/25 "2010-11-29T03:18:21Z")
Get together with some friends, and make a very special [Netwon’s Cradle](http://www.thesciencefair.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/NewtonsCradleSmall_584-1_M.jpg). -D/A ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/26 "2010-11-29T04:43:47Z")
Slightly off topic, but if asked by the doctor if he wants a prosthetic replacement, his answer should be hell yes. Furthermore he should tell the doctor he wants the largest one they make and he wants it made out of solid brass. That way if the question ever comes up he can answer in the affirmative. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/27 "2010-11-29T05:08:34Z")
what are the uses for an amputated testicle? what are the uses for an amputated testicle? what are the uses for an amputated testicle? earl-lie in the morning? ---
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/28 "2010-11-29T07:04:13Z")
Hang them - (like fuzzy dice) from his rear-view mirrow. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/29 "2010-11-29T07:04:41Z")
Save it cryogenically, and pray for a cure. ---
**Author:** ![GiantRat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47c2d/32.png) [@GiantRat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GiantRat)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/30 "2010-11-29T07:44:19Z")
Fishing tackle… on the Bait Bus. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/31 "2010-11-29T07:55:28Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > what are the uses for an amputated testicle? > what are the uses for an amputated testicle? > what are the uses for an amputated testicle? > earl-lie in the morning? 🙂 So you can drink to that too! ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/32 "2010-11-29T08:00:53Z")
Well, I’ve certainly helped out the vet on a friend’s farm, when the young bulls needed castration. I ended up knee-deep in bull testicles. Each was about the size of a baseball. I honestly do not know what the uses for testicles are. As I recall, they are simply discarded. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/33 "2010-11-29T08:09:50Z")
> [@orcenio](#): > > Ping-Pong! Or, Beer Pong! Other uses: 1. Surprise Christmas Stocking stuffer to scare the bejesus out of bad little boys. 2. Hollow it out, do a little planting and voila - Hairy Chia Nut! 3. Stand on 42 St. with a card table, three jock cups and and ask people to bet and guess which cup has the ball. 4. Cremation ceremony, with “Great Balls Of Fire” playing in the background. 5. Send in package via FedEx to IRS/ex-wife with note: “You’ve been holding me by the balls long enough. Here - take one!” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 8:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/34 "2010-11-29T08:39:55Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > Hairy Chia Nut! Okay, this made me laugh! ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2010, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/35 "2010-11-29T09:33:06Z")
Allow me to Godwinize… Makes the perfect gift for that special Führer in your life who has (almost) everything! ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2010, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/36 "2010-11-30T00:39:01Z")
Really challenge Andrew Zimmern. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2010, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/37 "2010-11-30T00:48:19Z")
A replacement for their wife’s cancerous tit. I find this thread very tasteless, and I don’t care what you have to say on it. I’ve known people that died testicular cancer. ---
**Author:** ![Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cabin_fever_1/32/2908_2.png) [@Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabin_Fever_1)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2010, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/38 "2010-11-30T00:51:06Z")
> [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > put it under his pillow and wait for the necrotic gonad fairy OMG, I used to play basketball with her! ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2010, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/39 "2010-11-30T01:04:00Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > I find this [clip] very tasteless That’s what Zimmern said. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2010, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189/40 "2010-11-30T01:20:43Z")
> [@BobArrgh](#): > > Do they still make Plasticast? That was a toy back in the 1960s where you could entomb things in clear plastic. Would make an interesting item for one’s desk. Close, but needs more imagination. Give it to his boss for Christmas. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-the-uses-for-an-amputated-testicle/562189.md?page=3)