I got called once in NC, 40+ years ago - I was the office curiosity, as nobody there had ever been called. I’ve been called a total of 3 times here in VA. First 2 times, I didn’t have to show up (called a number the night before to find out). Third time, I had to postpone by a month due to existing travel plans. Then I went in, sat around for an hour or so, and was among those told we were no longer needed.
I actually had a doctor’s note, one of the earlier times, requesting that I be excused due to some wakefulness issues (I now have medication that should let me serve). If I get called again, I may need tell them “I sometimes have to poop on very, very short notice”. Not sure how well that would fly…
Once when I was in a jury pool a man was released who had the same name as the judge. The judge went into a lengthy explanation that they were not related and the name had nothing to do with the release. As the released juror reached the door he turned, waved and said “Thanks dad”.
Just to add to the minor hijack on getting called to serve: When I was living in Chicago it seemed like I would get a jury notice every few years. I seem to remember that it always seemed to be shortly after I had moved, which led to my theory that they were using the voter rolls to select and registering to vote in my new location triggered me for selection.
If I could offer a good excuse to get out of jury duty: I was once being voir dired and one potential juror fought back tears while he explained his situation to the judge. He lives out in the country, 20 miles from the courthouse, and has no transportation. He relies on his mother for everything, even picking up his medicine at the pharmacy. He tearfully told the judge that if he were empaneled, he’d likely be arrested for failure to show up for jury duty on Day One, as he wouldn’t be able to get a ride.
I suppose the “I can’t get a ride” excuse won’t fly in a city with good public transit. But in a rural county with Jack Shit, where most of the population likely lives a mile or so from the nearest paved road, I think that’s a pretty good excuse.
My last time I was called for jury duty (and was selected), it was 30 miles away. It was really inconvenient as a single parent with a small child on a school day, but I managed it for the two days (was supposed to be just one). But I started thinking about my kid’s friends’ parents who don’t drive. How would they have gotten there? Could they have strung enough buses together to get there by 8am? Is it really fair to make people pay for taxis/ubers when it’s that far away? And where I am, it’s not like there aren’t half a dozen courthouses much closer. I just got selected for the far end of one county when I’m on the other.
My ex was called for jury duty every other year or so. He is deaf in one ear and not full hearing in the other. Every single time they would not excuse him unless he went to the doctor to get a note with his hearing loss noted on it. They wouldn’t keep the note on file, wouldn’t take the note from the last time. It was really frustrating for him, being a broke early 20 something having to pay to see a doctor to prove he had an incurable condition every single time. (Hearing aids or other things can help some people, but iirc, it didn’t help him in those situations and he just couldn’t do it)
I’ve been called for voir dire* many times, and not once have I ever been selected. In every case, ALL the potential jurors were dismissed.
One was so ridiculous: a drunk driving case. First the judge asked if any of us had been charged with drunk driving. Then if we’d been in a drunk driving accident. Then if we’d known anyone like that. Then if we drank. I swear we got to “have you heard of alcohol” when they just dismissed everyone. What a waste of time.
Here’s a Lowering the Bar compendium of classic excuses and more innovative jury avoidance techniques, including “I need to see my sugar daddy every day”, “I would rather count the wrinkles on my dog’s balls than sit on a jury. Get it through your thick skulls. Leave me the fuck alone”. “Bring a sword to the courthouse”, and this classic exchange.
Lawyer: Have you ever known anyone who was convicted of a crime?
Juror: My best friend in high school killed 17 people and ate them.
(long pause)
Lawyer: We would like to thank and excuse this juror.
(He was actually telling the truth, his friend was Jeffrey Dahmer)
When I’ve been called, the jury services people tell us that the fact that there are potential jurors sitting and waiting to be called incentivizes the attorneys on both sides (prosecutor and defense attorney) to agree to a plea bargain. (I think the idea is they recognize that the jury room is full of pissed off people unlikely to be sympathetic to either side.)
It’s just the reality of how humans behave in the circumstances. The alternative would be to force defendants who failed to plead ahead of the trial date to go to trial. Believe me, that would waste a whole lot more of your time.
Poor hearing isn’t necessarily a reason to not serve on a jury. One of juries I served on had a juror who told the judge he was hard of hearing. The judge instructed him to raise his hand whenever he couldn’t hear the testimony. He did, and more than one lawyer and witness had to repeat the question and answer, louder.
The last time I was called for jury service, I noticed that they’d called more people than usual. Eventually, they brought all of us into the courtroom where the judge described the case. The defendant was a soccer coach caught giving a blow job to a fourteen-year-old boy in his car. (The boy was one of the players on his team.) Many people were dismissed, due to not being available for the expected length of the trial or other legitimate reasons. I didn’t have any valid reasons to avoid service so I was still in the pool. Fortunately, though, the defendant took a plea bargain.
To be honest, my biggest concern about serving on that jury was the idea that the victim would need to testify as to what happened in open court with the defendant sitting about thirty feet away.
When any topic about juries comes up it’s always the same. Some get called multiple times and others never get the call.
I got jury notices a couple of times in my 20s. Once I was away at college and another time I was in the Army in a different country. Years later I got summonsed to be on a grand jury. As soon as I sent the notice back with my profession I was immediately excused. They were worried I would have to recuse myself from too many cases. That was over 20 years ago and I haven’t got a notice since.
I currently work very part time as court security but that’s municipal court. No jury trials here in municipal court so I don’t have any good stories about excuses.
I’ve only got a jury summons once. Called the sheriff’s office and asked to be taken off the list. I’m ineligible to be on a jury, since I’m a lawyer. He’s known me for several years. Laughed, and said he would.
