# So, what are your plans for after the Rapture? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 26, 2006, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047 "2006-07-26T04:51:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/1 "2006-07-26T04:51:01Z")
Please assume for the sake of discussion that the fundies get their wish, and the whole Rapture thing happens. Jesus shows up and takes the faithful to Heaven…or maybe it’s Vorlons taking them for Soylent Green. Whatever. Poof, massive missing persons cases due to Major Supernatural Event. What are you gonna do? Me? I’m gonna have a bigger house. Got my eye on the one that belongs to the Sweet Little Old Lady on the corner. I figure if anybody I know gets called home, it’ll be her, so she won’t be needing the place…and I happen to know that her son gave her a really nice big screen TV last Christmas… ---
**Author:** ![diggleblop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@diggleblop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diggleblop)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/2 "2006-07-26T04:53:30Z")
I’m going to Disneyworld. ---
**Author:** ![bloo-bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c77e96/32.png) [@bloo-bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bloo-bird)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/3 "2006-07-26T04:54:19Z")
I would get saved pronto! ---
**Author:** ![pendgwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3da27b/32.png) [@pendgwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pendgwen)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/4 "2006-07-26T04:57:42Z")
Skicker at various people who thought they were oh-so-holy but somehow got left behind. ---
**Author:** ![pendgwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3da27b/32.png) [@pendgwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pendgwen)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/5 "2006-07-26T04:58:50Z")
And of course I really meant that I would _snicker_ at people. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/6 "2006-07-26T05:05:55Z")
Used car sales and massive land-grab purchases once churches defaulted on their taxes (or it became pretty clear the land had been abandoned). ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/7 "2006-07-26T05:10:19Z")
Immediately after, I’d drive down in my new Lexus to get my mark of the beast tattoo. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/8 "2006-07-26T05:10:42Z")
I would probably see what nice things they left behind that I might make use of in my home. I am pretty sure I wouldn’t be raptured, and even if I was I am sure I would be driving at the time and my car would slam into someone and kill them and BAM! I’d be in hell for killing. Either way it is a lose-lose situation. If I knew that I would be raptured and I could know the exact time, I would try to be having sex when it happened. Not only would it be my last chance for some sweet loving, but also my dissapearance would probably also freak the guy out a good bit and I would find that amusing. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/9 "2006-07-26T05:31:16Z")
I guess if I survived the Rapture, I’d mostly loot the town for canned goods, until I could get my farm up & running. Post-rapture Earth doesn’t sound very thrilling, unless God has some sort of Star Trekian future planned for us. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/10 "2006-07-26T06:29:30Z")
[QUOTE=pbbth] If I knew that I would be raptured and I could know the exact time, I would try to be having sex when it happened. Not only would it be my last chance for some sweet loving, but also my dissapearance would probably also freak the guy out a good bit and I would find that amusing. 😉 [/QUOTE] Now of course the flaw in that logic is that having sex out of wedlock sort of negates you getting raptured, now, doesn’t it? I mean, yes, you have to be one of the chosen, but you also have to behave… ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/11 "2006-07-26T07:57:32Z")
Of course, I’ll take a car with a bumper sticker that says “In case of rapture, take my car”. How unbelievably pretentious! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/12 "2006-07-26T08:11:09Z")
Bet I could get a really cheap ticket to _The Holy Land Experience_. Plus, _someone_ is gonna have to fill all those suddenly-empty timeslots on the cable access channels… ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/13 "2006-07-26T08:14:50Z")
I just realized that all of those cars will probably still have people in them. I’ll have to think of a better plan. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/14 "2006-07-26T08:36:10Z")
Of course, we will still be stuck with all the tele-evangelists left behind trying to get donations with promises of a sequel next summer, “Rapture II - He’s Back!”, and I guess there will be a lot of glum faces at the Vatican when they realize they are all still here…but aside from those party poopers, my guess is there won’t be a whole lot of people from Las Vegas missing in action, so it will be status quo here. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/15 "2006-07-26T08:36:31Z")
Wait a minute. This means I’ll be left in a world where the women are all whores? Whoo-hoo!! And this is supposed to be bad how? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Foldup\_Rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Foldup\_Rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foldup_Rabbit)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/16 "2006-07-26T08:41:56Z")
If the Kirk Cameron/Left Behind style Rapture happened, well, I would be running to the local Church to hide in the basement. Seriously, now, all that earthquake and horsemen crap seems kinda scary. Of course, on the run over there I would be blathering rather loudly about “those effing theists; I can’t believe those effing pretentious evangelical bastards were right, goddamn it (sorry, Lord)” or something of that nature. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 9:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/17 "2006-07-26T09:29:14Z")
Drive up to Megiddo with a lawn chair and wait for the action to start. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/18 "2006-07-26T10:09:45Z")
[QUOTE=Foldup Rabbit] If the Kirk Cameron/Left Behind style Rapture happened, well, I would be running to the local Church to hide in the basement. Seriously, now, all that earthquake and horsemen crap seems kinda scary. Of course, on the run over there I would be blathering rather loudly about “those effing theists; I can’t believe those effing pretentious evangelical bastards were right, goddamn it (sorry, Lord)” or something of that nature. [/QUOTE] I have to agree with this one. As fun as it is to imagine joyriding in a 747 or lying in a millionaire’s (now empty) pool with champagne, the Bible is pretty clear that a post-Rapture Earth is Not Going to Be a Fun Place To Be. Realistically, being the religious sod I am, I’d probably freak out and cry. And try to get saved. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/19 "2006-07-26T10:14:08Z")
Well, if it happens, it happens. There’s nothing that I could do about it. I think I’d get a lawn chair and lay back and wait for a demon to claw my eyes out. If I’m saved, I’m safe on my lawn chair, no? If I’m not saved, then one way or another, I’m in Hell. What’s an extra day or 200 added to infinty? Why, it’s still infinity. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/20 "2006-07-26T10:15:27Z")
[QUOTE=fetus] I just realized that all of those cars will probably still have people in them. I’ll have to think of a better plan. [/QUOTE] Even the ones in the deserted dealerships? You’re welcome. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047.md?page=2)