# So, what are your plans for after the Rapture? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 26, 2006, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047 "2006-07-26T04:51:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Marlitharn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marlitharn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marlitharn)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/41 "2006-07-26T18:21:43Z")
Get bullet-proof drunk, sharpen my axe, and wait for Ragnorak. I may go to Hel, but I ain’t going without a fight. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/42 "2006-07-26T20:06:22Z")
If a person who tries to live a good life, but doesn’t believe in mythical unseen beings who won’t demonstrate their existance is STILL eligible for the rapture, then I guess I won’t be here. Otherwise the world will be a lot less crowded but probably more dangerous. Guess I’d see about securing my position and scavenging for rations. Wonder if the food supply chain workers are evil? Hmm, gas will be hard to get, we know the gas people are evil. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/43 "2006-07-26T20:07:26Z")
Step 1 - Hookers Step 2 - Drugs Step 3 - Profit ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/44 "2006-07-26T20:28:48Z")
[QUOTE=FriarTed] IF the pre-Trib Rapture scenario is true, the only fictional work I’ve read which is truly horrible enough to describe the post-Rapture world is Brian Caldwell’s WE ALL FALL DOWN. It’s basically Pulp Apocalypse- the only person who could film it & do it justice is Quentin Tarantino. Malacandra- the rationality of some secularist Dopers kinda goes into default mode when considering “what if you are faced with undeniable evidence of God/Jesus/The Bible” scenarios, considering the amount of “If the Biblical God is real, then when I face Him, I’ll spit in His face” comments I’ve seen. Really, they’ll be wetting themselves & sobbing like skinny b_tch_s with skinned knees. Btw, what will I do after the Rapture? Probably be in rapt _hee hee_ adoration of the Holy Trinity for a while, then watch the fireworks on Earth below while praying for any loved ones still left there. [/QUOTE] Well, you know, the OP does allow for non-God related rapture-like events. I’m going with the Vorlon scenario, personally. Perhaps a Neil Young “After the Goldrush”/ Jimi Hendrix “House Burning Down” type dealy. Or maybe the Movementarians are right and we’re all off to Blisstopia - which would be good, because bliss is nice. I mean, your God may think he’s all that, but he ain’t _all_ that. I’d like to see the look on his face when the big silver spaceships come down! As for my post-rapture plans, I look forward to quiet sunday mornings. mm ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/45 "2006-07-26T20:48:58Z")
Um, immediately get saved so that when the demons pluck my internal organs out, I go to heaven instead of the lake of fire. I don’t believe in that crap, but if there was irrefutable proof of it, I’d work on getting on God’s good side fast. I’d be all over Jesus like brown on rice. ---
**Author:** ![FisherQueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@FisherQueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FisherQueen)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/46 "2006-07-26T20:49:27Z")
The Rapture isn’t how I interpret the Bible. But I could be wrong. So, if the Rapture happens, I’ll be in Heaven. Seriously irritating all the people who insisted that the lesbians wouldn’t make it in. I’ll probably be sticking out my tongue and saying “nyah nyah nyah.” ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/47 "2006-07-26T20:52:49Z")
[QUOTE=SHAKES] Wait a minute. This means I’ll be left in a world where the women are all whores? Whoo-hoo!! And this is supposed to be bad how? [/QUOTE] You won’t have any money. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/48 "2006-07-26T20:53:13Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] I have to agree with this one. As fun as it is to imagine joyriding in a 747 or lying in a millionaire’s (now empty) pool with champagne, the Bible is pretty clear that a post-Rapture Earth is Not Going to Be a Fun Place To Be. [/quote] The Rapture is not in the Bible. ---
**Author:** ![Foldup\_Rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df788c/32.png) [@Foldup\_Rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Foldup_Rabbit)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/49 "2006-07-26T23:53:37Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] Funny, among people as rational as the Dopers I’d’ve expected to see a lot more putative eating of humble pie. 😃 [/QUOTE] I had the same thought when I first read the thread. None of the Tim LaHaye-style endings for the non-saved seemed very appealing. At least not as appealing as spending eternity floating on puffy clouds. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2006, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/50 "2006-07-26T23:59:38Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] The Rapture is not in the Bible. [/QUOTE] It’s not specifically mentioned by name, but the whole concept is indeed described in 1 Thessalonians 4:16-18 : “For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words.” ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/51 "2006-07-27T00:11:47Z")
Sit there and swear my head off. I had the chance to turn Protestant, dunno if that would save me, but damn, it couldn’t hurt. Then probably burn in a fiery lake. This kind of God doesn’t seem to do forgiveness too well. If I had time, I’d go to India and find my family all of us Hindus (and atheists) WOULD CELEBRATE! Until we died of course. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/52 "2006-07-27T00:36:15Z")
[QUOTE=Eutychus] It’s not specifically mentioned by name, but the whole concept is indeed described in 1 Thessalonians 4:16-18 : “For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord. Wherefore comfort one another with these words.” [/QUOTE] The Thessalonians passage is the one most often misconstrued by Rapture theologists but, in fact, that passage is about the Second Coming not the preliminary snatching of souls which is found in the kind of apocalyptic theology represented in the Left Behind books. Rapture theology originated in the 19th century in the visions of a teenaged girl in Scotland named Margaret Macdonald and was popularized by a preacher named John Darby. It is not a Biblically derived doctrine (though some passages are now distorted by Rapture proponents to fit their preconceived beliefs) and is not subscribed to by any of the major Christian churches. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/53 "2006-07-27T01:38:42Z")
I think one version of the Rapture says there will be only 144,000 saved, among every one who ever lived. I’m thinking that the only folks called up from this generation will be the Dalai Lama, Oprah, and maybe Tiger Woods. They all seem like very nice people. My life will be totally unchanged until the Apocalypse, which I expect to follow shortly after. I am trying to prepare for it ahead of time by dailiy viewings of _Apocalypse Now._ ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/54 "2006-07-27T04:38:38Z")
[QUOTE=Diogenes the Cynic] The Thessalonians passage is the one most often misconstrued by Rapture theologists but, in fact, that passage is about the Second Coming not the preliminary snatching of souls which is found in the kind of apocalyptic theology represented in the Left Behind books. Rapture theology originated in the 19th century in the visions of a teenaged girl in Scotland named Margaret Macdonald and was popularized by a preacher named John Darby. It is not a Biblically derived doctrine (though some passages are now distorted by Rapture proponents to fit their preconceived beliefs) and is not subscribed to by any of the major Christian churches. [/QUOTE] Yeah, so, PPPBBBBHHHHTTTTTTT!!! to all you rapturists! You go, dude! I wanna’ go to your church … the one where you gotta’ know what you’re talkin’ about. No, wait … I wouldn’t qualify, ‘cuz I thought the rapture stuff was in the Bible, which is why I made fun of it, ‘cuz I was afraid of it, but now that I know it isn’t, I gotta’ ask myself, what else don’t I know, and the answer comes right back at me: “PLENTY, you dork!” But way t’go, knowin’ about that Margaret chick and stuff. So, is Oakminster right? I mean, like, could they come and turn us into Soylent Green? ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/55 "2006-07-27T05:28:55Z")
Oh hell, I’d walk down Main Street of my hometown with a six-shooter on my hip, and burn down the first guy that got in my way. I’ve always wanted to do that, and if God’s already passed through leaving me there, I know I’m goin’ to hell anyways. I’ve even got my fire-iron picked out too: a Ruger Security-Six (now apparently being sold as a GP 100). Tripler What time would I start walkin’? Damned straight it’d be high noon. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/56 "2006-07-27T06:03:46Z")
> [@FisherQueen](#): > > I’ll probably be sticking out my tongue OK, you’ll get in even though you’re a lesbian, but don’t you think that’s pushing it? 😃 😉 > [@Boyo Jim](#): > > and maybe Tiger Woods. They all seem like very nice people. Tiger Woods has a bit of a temper, I hear. Plus, he whined and whined about having to play at Torrey Pines after a little bit of rain, and then made a commercial that showed him practicing in a torrential downpour because he’s just so dedicated he can’t give up a minute of his time to laziness. :rolleyes: > [@Sunrazor](#): > > You go, dude! I wanna’ go to your church I, er, well, I think you’ll have a lot of trouble finding it. Let’s leave it at that. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 6:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/57 "2006-07-27T06:07:52Z")
I said it before, I’ll say it again: Come Rapture, I’m getting a BRAND NEW FERRARI! ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/58 "2006-07-27T08:51:08Z")
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim] I think one version of the Rapture says there will be only 144,000 saved, among every one who ever lived. I’m thinking that the only folks called up from this generation will be the Dalai Lama, Oprah, and maybe Tiger Woods. They all seem like very nice people. My life will be totally unchanged until the Apocalypse, which I expect to follow shortly after. I am trying to prepare for it ahead of time by dailiy viewings of _Apocalypse Now._ [/QUOTE] There may be a few sects that teach a “144,000-only Rapture” but I don’t know who. The Jehovah’s Witnesses teach that at Christ’s Revealing at Armageddon, there will be only 144,000 saints from all of history who will reign in Heaven with Christ while the rest of redeemed humanity dwell forever on a paradisial Earth. ---
**Author:** ![mamboman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecb155/32.png) [@mamboman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mamboman)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/59 "2006-07-27T09:11:02Z")
[QUOTE=Tripler] Oh hell, I’d walk down Main Street of my hometown with a six-shooter on my hip, and burn down the first guy that got in my way. I’ve always wanted to do that, and if God’s already passed through leaving me there, I know I’m goin’ to hell anyways. I’ve even got my fire-iron picked out too: a Ruger Security-Six (now apparently being sold as a GP 100). Tripler What time would I start walkin’? Damned straight it’d be high noon. [/QUOTE] I’d shoot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Then I’d kill a guy… with a trident! What? mm ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2006, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047/60 "2006-07-27T10:40:22Z")
I’d also start selling T-Shirts that say things like: **Wasn’t Christian Enough** **Rapture? I never really liked Blondie** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-are-your-plans-for-after-the-rapture/366047.md?page=4)