# So what does it take to be welcomed by Cecil? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 2, 2001, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015 "2001-10-02T18:28:26Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/21 "2001-10-02T22:50:05Z")
You think you got it bad, 'Sprix? I’m more prolific than you are (last time someone checked, I think I was at #3), just as noticeable (you have your ATGG threads, I have the TMI thread, where I got crowned as “Doper with the most vile and disgusting personal habits”), _and_ to top things off… I’m Cecil’s evil twin, who knows nothing! Man, I feel so dejected. I think I’m going to go into the Pit and start saying “Underpants” a lot… ---
**Author:** ![Tyklfe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@Tyklfe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tyklfe)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/22 "2001-10-02T22:50:08Z")
oh boy! I wanna be here when he comes too! :grabs a chair, a bag of chips, some dip, and settles in for the wait: ---
**Author:** ![Mercutio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/51bf81/32.png) [@Mercutio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mercutio)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/23 "2001-10-02T22:53:30Z")
Tyk, don’t bother. He posts about 10 times a year in about 2 threads. I addressed him once but, since I didn’t talk about his penis, like Monster104 did, he didn’t address me back. And to think, I wasted money, cocaine and I ruined my retainer on oral sex trying to get that man to notice me. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/24 "2001-10-02T23:05:54Z")
I know how you feel **Esprix**. I’ve been down this road myself (twice) trying to coax Cecil out of hiding. I’ve got 4400+ posts now, two successful Welcome Wagon threads, I’ve made Threadspotting (with Halvsie, the two-legged dog) and a site I suggested got picked for Weird Earl’s. I guess we need to follow **aha’s** example and threaten to [shoot a puppy](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=23704). ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/25 "2001-10-02T23:52:13Z")
Puppy, eh? Hmmm… _{rubs chin like Dr. Evil}_ Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/26 "2001-10-03T00:03:10Z")
hah! Unca Cec used the VERY FIRST QUESTION i sent in!! damn, if that ain’t good enough for me! ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/27 "2001-10-03T00:11:31Z")
Bah. Cecil should be begging for _me_ to talk to _him_!! ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/28 "2001-10-03T00:13:13Z")
:: flashes her tits, shakes 'em, offers Cecil a brumsky:: boy. nothin’ ---
**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/29 "2001-10-03T00:14:55Z")
AHEM [In a thread **I** started none the less.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=23611) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/30 "2001-10-03T00:18:06Z")
Oh. Forgot the sig. 🙂 [cartman] Yes yes Cecil welcomed me. Who wants to touch me? I said who wants to fuckin touch me!! [/cartman] ---
**Author:** ![Talkinsquirrel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f6c823/32.png) [@Talkinsquirrel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Talkinsquirrel)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/31 "2001-10-03T00:20:39Z")
DAMN YOU YOU DAMN SIG!! GRRR… oh well…just padding my post count… so if you were welcomed by cecil raise your hand! _raises hand_ ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/32 "2001-10-03T01:55:03Z")
Just popping in to give this another shot. No, I am _not_ holding my breath :\ ---
**Author:** ![DPWhite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d26b3c/32.png) [@DPWhite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DPWhite)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/33 "2001-10-03T02:02:30Z")
I’ve read all of Cecil’s columns, and he seems to avoid the subject of gayness, or get cute about referring to it, so maybe he is avoiding you because he is homophobic? ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/34 "2001-10-03T02:18:24Z")
Big deal. Cecil is actually my dad’s cousin who works at Fermilab. His real name is Robert. Hoo boy, he gets pissed drunk at shivahs and says _the_ most inapporpriate things. Cousin Robert (Unky Cece) actually looks like a guy I used to date named Rob. The Rob I dated is growing a goatee now. It’s disgusting - just a little dot of hair below his lip. I still have a coat of his; I never gave it back. (I broke up with him a year and a half ago.) He does marching band. Everyone I know in marching band thinks it’s a sport. Uh, no? It’s an activity. Just because you move around doesn’t make it a sport. Anyway, I used to want to do marching band when I was a freshman in high school. I play the violin. I borrowed a clarinet from my Aunt Susie (not related to Cousin Robert, by the way) and was all set to take lessons. But I needed to get the clarinet recorked first. I decided I wasn’t that interested. I just stick with the good ole violin now. I need a new set of strings - I’ve already used up my A and E. I use an Oliv Gold E string and it is the fussiest thing ever! I can only get it to sound 50% of the time; the other 50% it hisses and whines like nothing else. What have I done to be welcomed by Cecil? Absolutely nothing. Ya hear that, Cecil? I got your welcome _right here!_ ---
**Author:** ![blackmonday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/53a042/32.png) [@blackmonday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blackmonday)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/35 "2001-10-03T02:22:11Z")
Can’t he just do the Audience From The Balcony thing like the Pope, and welcome the masses all at once? And via The Magic Of Bulletin Boards, the greeting could be renewed just by boosting it. ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/36 "2001-10-03T02:27:23Z")
Well if Esprix hasn’t been personally welcomed, I don’t stand a chance. ---
**Author:** ![Flymaster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c4cdca/32.png) [@Flymaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flymaster)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/37 "2001-10-03T02:34:12Z")
Bah…you people are all just insecure, and feel the need to be accepted by an authority figure. Plus, I want to get on the list in case he does a mass welcoming, too 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/38 "2001-10-03T02:36:54Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Jodi** _ > > I’ve heard Cecil really digs humility and modesty. We’re not really going to start this, are we? Please say no, please say no, please say no… Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/39 "2001-10-03T02:39:17Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **DPWhite** _ > > I’ve read all of Cecil’s columns, and he seems to avoid the subject of gayness, or get cute about referring to it, so maybe he is avoiding you because he is homophobic? The topic has been broached, and the answer was, “No.” And he’s talked about homosexuality quite a bit, actually - do a search sometime. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015/40 "2001-10-03T02:45:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Odieman \* > **Nahhhh…it takes a secret ceremony at midnight, it’s so arduous that only a few people have had the stamina to survive it** **Stripping down** I can do it… Bring it on! I’ll make it or die trying!#@ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-does-it-take-to-be-welcomed-by-cecil/85015.md?page=3)