# So what IF I am a communist? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 27, 2012, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105 "2012-04-27T05:35:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/21 "2012-04-27T22:44:56Z")
God, I miss the Cold War…everything was so much simpler then. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/22 "2012-04-27T22:47:37Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > God, I miss the Cold War…everything was so much simpler then. Except the list of things that made you a Commie. That was long and always being added to. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Feldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lord_feldon/32/341_2.png) [@Lord\_Feldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Feldon)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2012, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/23 "2012-04-27T23:28:16Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Of the two forms I’ve had to fill in when entering the US (one for the seeds people and one for the political police), one asked whether I was a commie and whether I was going to break any law of the US. Well, not intentionally, no… but I always want to ask “do I get shipped home for a traffic ticket?” Are you sure you were asked if you were a communist and not if you were a Nazi? I-94W forms mentioned lots of bad things, but not communism. ---
**Author:** ![Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/do_not_taunt/32/2968_2.png) [@Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Do_Not_Taunt)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/24 "2012-04-28T03:13:41Z")
> [@grude](#): > > In addition to that the one page form everyone is given to fill out when entering the USA(other countries usually also ask about communism) on the plane also asks about being a communist. Even if you’re a US citizen like I am. I’ve seriously never gotten this. I have to check a box that I’m not importing snails, but communism is never on that form. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Feldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lord_feldon/32/341_2.png) [@Lord\_Feldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Feldon)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/25 "2012-04-28T03:19:30Z")
If you’re a US citizen, you wouldn’t have ever had to fill out a visa waiver form when coming in to the US (neither would a Canadian citizen). ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/26 "2012-04-28T03:21:56Z")
> [@grude](#): > > It was on mine along with asking if I was a nazi and other stuff, which again made me go so what? I assumed I might get extra questions or harassment for answering yes. It also asked you if you were ever a “habitual drunkard,” right? – and yet Christopher Hitchens somehow got naturalized. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dc4da7/32.png) [@The\_Man\_With\_The\_Golden\_Gun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Man_With_The_Golden_Gun)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/27 "2012-04-28T03:22:07Z")
In America, you complete your census. In Soviet Russia, census complete you! Yeah, yeah, I got nothin’. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/28 "2012-04-28T04:25:27Z")
> [@Lord\_Feldon](#): > > If you’re a US citizen, you wouldn’t have ever had to fill out a visa waiver form when coming in to the US (neither would a Canadian citizen). [Here](http://amsterdam.usconsulate.gov/uploads/images/n27a8u5IJKZnyI3zjJJC0Q/I-94_back.jpg) are the questions asked on Form I-94 which is given to travelers from Visa Waiver countries. The interesting ones are: > [@](#): > > B. Have you ever been arrested or convicted for an offense or crime involving moral turpitude or a violation related to a controlled substance; or been arrested or convicted for two or more offenses for which aggregate sentence to confinement was five years or more; or been a controlled substance trafficker; or are you seeking entry to engage in criminal or immoral activities? > > C. Have you ever been or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage; or in terrorist activities; or genocide; or between 1933 and 1945 were involved, in any way, in persecutions associated with Nazi Germany or its allies? So, lots of drugs, terrorism, Nazis, and moral turpitude, but no communism. ---
**Author:** ![Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/do_not_taunt/32/2968_2.png) [@Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Do_Not_Taunt)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/29 "2012-04-28T04:57:34Z")
> [@Lord\_Feldon](#): > > If you’re a US citizen, you wouldn’t have ever had to fill out a visa waiver form when coming in to the US (neither would a Canadian citizen). I’m not sure if this was in response to me, but the post I responded to explicitly said: > [@grude](#): > > Even if you’re a US citizen like I am. I honestly have no idea what the non-citizen experience is coming into the US. ---
**Author:** ![Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrogance_ex_machina/32/192_2.png) [@Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrogance_Ex_Machina)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/30 "2012-04-28T05:17:41Z")
> [@ftg](#): > > I had to do a state one years ago. They listed about 5 subversive groups you had to deny belonging to. Besides various communist parties, they also listed the SLA. > > The SLA? They were long gone. May as well asked if I belonged to the Knights Templar. Good they they didn’t ask if I belonged to the Judean People’s Front. Now I’m curious - which SLA would that be? [QUOTE=Wikipedia] ``` Saint Lawrence Academy, a college preparatory school located in Santa Clara, California School Library Association, an association for school librarians South Lebanon Army, an Israeli-backed militia during the Lebanese Civil War Special Libraries Association, an association for professional librarians working in specialized libraries Sri Lanka Army, the oldest and largest of Sri Lanka's armed services State Liquor Authority, New York State organization that enforces liquor laws Sudan Liberation Movement/Army, a rebel group in the Sudanese region Darfur Symbionese Liberation Army, kidnappers of Patricia Campbell Hearst Sociedat de Lingüistica Aragonesa, Aragonese language society Singapore Land Authority, a statutory board under the Ministry of Law of Singapore ``` [/QUOTE] Any one of these? ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/31 "2012-04-28T05:21:53Z")
…have you ever had to sit on the bench marked ‘Group W’? ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/32 "2012-04-28T05:44:39Z")
> [@Arrogance\_Ex\_Machina](#): > > Now I’m curious - which SLA would that be? > > Any one of these? The terrorist kidnapper bank robbers. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/33 "2012-04-28T11:45:38Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > The terrorist kidnapper bank robbers. School librarians kidnapping and robbing banks? Now that’s HAWT. I can’t believe I just wrote that. Sorry, carry on. Back to the turpitude and all that. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/34 "2012-04-28T13:18:35Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > All the political questions are done with code words nowadays. For your sake, I hope you didn’t claim any “citrus”. That made me laugh. So the Quarantine Service is really the CIA? ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/35 "2012-04-28T14:42:23Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > School librarians kidnapping and robbing banks? Now that’s HAWT. But not Special Librarians like me? I see how you are. (though technically I’m no longer a member of THAT SLA. I was, at one point though) ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/36 "2012-04-28T15:40:32Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > That made me laugh. So the Quarantine Service is really the CIA? No, the FBI. It was the result of an unfortunate misunderstanding when Hoover said he didn’t want any foreign fruits living in the US. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/37 "2012-04-28T21:01:39Z")
People. people, they’re not asking if you’re a communist. They’re asking if you were a member of the Communist PARTY! Keep your amateur status and you’re good to go. Also, I wonder what happens if you answer yes? Does a SWAT team suddenly appear out of a back room? Two guys in trench coats and pork pie hats suddenly appear to escort you away? ---
**Author:** ![PaulParkhead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@PaulParkhead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PaulParkhead)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2012, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/38 "2012-04-28T21:25:57Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Huh, it bugs me because I thought we’d moved past the Cold War stuff and were supposed to be hating on Ayrabs and Moslems. > > Actually the reason it bugs me is that they ask about something controversial and either expect an honest answer, or already know and just want to see if you’ll own it. There’s a degree of method to it, especially when it’s on a USCIS form intended to be completed by foreigners. Clearly, it isn’t a crime to be a communist or (in most cases) advocate the overthrow of the US government. But it _is_ a crime to lie on an immigration form. ---
**Author:** ![bibliophage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bibliophage/32/7615_2.png) [@bibliophage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bibliophage)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2012, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/39 "2012-04-29T00:51:10Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > All the political questions are done with code words nowadays. For your sake, I hope you didn’t claim any “citrus”. I am not now, nor have I ever been, a member of the Citrus Party. ---
**Author:** ![UltraVires](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ecccb3/32.png) [@UltraVires](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UltraVires)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2012, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105/40 "2012-04-29T02:01:10Z")
What would happen if you gave them the Abe Simpson answer? I am not a communist. A bad father perhaps, a drunk, a loudmouth, an idiot, a communist, and a fat slob, but I am NOT A PORN STAR! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-if-i-am-a-communist/620105.md?page=3)