# So what IS Mary Poppins? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 4, 2014, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502 "2014-09-04T17:39:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![ricksummon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ricksummon/32/3333_2.png) [@ricksummon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricksummon)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/41 "2014-09-05T03:38:48Z")
“Damn it, Dawlish! She got away _again!_” “Who, sir?” “ **Poppins!** That woman is a menace! Over 2,000 documented violations of the Statue of Secrecy in the last year _alone_, yet she always manages to slip away before the Aurors show up. But this time… _this_ time, she’s gone too far!” “What do you mean?” “Oh, at first, it was just the usual. Flying on a umbrella in full view of the public, showing off a carpetbag with an Expansion Charm to Muggle children… but, then, she nearly wrecked the Muggle economy by causing a run on a major City bank!” “Tampering with the Muggle economy?! That’s ten years in Azkaban, that is!” “Oh, yes, and that’s not even the worst of it! She dared speak the Ancient Secret Word of **Merlin himself** in the presence of Muggles — and taught _them_ to say it as well!” (gasp) “You don’t mean… supercali —” “ **YES!** She _dared_ to blaspheme our most sacred traditions! I swear to you, Dawlish, I won’t rest until I see that witch sentenced to the Veil!” * * * Of course, we all know that Mary Poppins is _actually_ the same sort of being as Tom Bombadil. _Ding-a-dong-a-dillo…_😃 ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/42 "2014-09-05T03:45:28Z")
Manic Pixie Dream Maid? ---
**Author:** ![ricksummon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ricksummon/32/3333_2.png) [@ricksummon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricksummon)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/43 "2014-09-05T03:50:54Z")
All right… now I’ve got this image in my mind of Mary Poppins vs. the Anti-Poppins (aka Dolores Umbridge) in a _final duel to the **death!** _ It helps if you play [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybq_waDfyDI) while imagining it. _"The hills are alive… with the sound of **vengeance!** _😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tapiotar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3be4f8/32.png) [@Tapiotar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapiotar)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/44 "2014-09-05T06:23:32Z")
> [@Johnny\_Bravo](#): > > I’ve put a little thought into this. > > I don’t know exactly what she is, but I think that whatever it is, Bert is definitely also one of them. He’s been in love with her for centuries, and she reciprocates, but the nature of her work (or possibly a curse of some kind) makes it impossible for them to ever really be with one another. He spends his days wandering the earth and waiting for that particular wind that brings her, so that he can forget - at least for a while - that any time he spends with her is ultimately fleeting. Agreed with you on the love story. They are both from the same realm as guardian angels, but somehow they have gotten a dispensation to assume physical forms in certain cases. Bert’s current assignment, not shown in the movies as we only see him taking time off, is to offer some protection to the children who work as sweeps, and we know Mary’s assignment is with children of more prosperous families. There are limits to what they can actually do to change circumstances…their main function is to bring hope and belief in possibilities and the transcendance of limits. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/45 "2014-09-05T07:36:00Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Travers died in London on 23 April 1996 at the age of 96. According to her grandchildren, Travers “died loving no one and with no one loving her.” If she had grandchildren there had to be a little loving at some point. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/46 "2014-09-05T07:45:44Z")
She’s not a bloody jukebox. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/47 "2014-09-05T07:52:04Z")
> [@a35362](#): > > If she’s a witch, why does she work as a nanny? Why does she have to leave when the wind changes (so she can’t hang on to a job for more than a few days, I guess)? Has she got a job waiting for her in France, or maybe Kent? What’s Bert’s deal? Do the other chimney sweeps know what he is? > > Mary can do better than a penniless jack-of-all-trades like Bert, for goodness’ sake! I think she just values helping children. The wind isn’t so much something that makes her have to go, but a signal that there is someone else in need of her help. And, even if Bert is not Warlock, he’s definitely more than he appears. And it’s not like they are actually together, anyways. She probably has boyfriends all over the world, unless Bert also goes with her. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/48 "2014-09-05T10:41:54Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > If she had grandchildren there had to be a little loving at some point. She adopted (a son, IIRC), but did not, to the best of my knowledge, reproduce. ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/49 "2014-09-05T11:34:39Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > She adopted (a son, IIRC), but did not, to the best of my knowledge, reproduce. Yes, she adopted a son. IIRC, it’s a horrible story: there were two identical twins, she adopted one but not the other, and never told her adopted son about his brother. They met by accident in a pub, as adults. > [@Johnny Bravo](#): > > I don’t know exactly what she is, but I think that whatever it is, Bert is definitely also one of them. … Bert as a character in the books is very minor, quite unlike the movie; Bert is mostly a Disney creation. > [@Clothahump](#): > > I finally broke down and ordered the first book from Amazon. And I have got to admit…I was sorely disappointed by it. Mary Poppins, to me, is a totally arrogant snot. For the life of me, I don’t see how that series of books got to be so popular. I think that people who STARTED with the books feel the opposite (certainly, me wife does.) Yes, Mary P in the books is arrogant, rude, obnoxious, and never (NEVER!) has that insipid Julie Andrews smile. **ricksummon** : BRILLIANT!! ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/50 "2014-09-05T11:40:40Z")
> [@Barking\_Dog](#): > > I think Bert was an american soldier during The War, where he took an injury to the head and was shipped back to the UK in a coma. He woke up in hospital a host of brain maladies resulting from severe head trauma, such as debilitating migraines and [Foreign Accent Syndrome](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foreign_accent_syndrome). It was here he met Mary Poppins, working as a nurse. They quickly became friends and later fell in love and Mary attempted to use her witch powers to try and heal Bert’s brain injuries, to no avail. Eventually Bert asked her to marry him, but she turned him down as it would be unethical to have a romance with a patient. After being discharged from the hospital, Bert, still in love, stayed in England hoping one day she would change her mind. Unable to hold down better paying jobs because of his condition, he ended up getting by on a series of menial jobs like chimney sweeping. If by “The War” you mean the Spanish-American War, maybe. The film, at least, took place in 1910. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/51 "2014-09-05T12:52:46Z")
[God.](http://lxg.wikia.com/wiki/Mary_Poppins) ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/52 "2014-09-05T12:56:03Z")
> [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](#): > > (certainly, me wife does.) Are we supposed to be reading this in Bert’s accent? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/53 "2014-09-05T12:58:28Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > if you go deep into the original writings of Mary Poppins you will find she descended from Xena. Lisa Simpson: But Xena doesn’t fly!! Lucy Lawless: I told you I’m not Xena. I’m Lucy Lawless! ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/54 "2014-09-05T13:08:52Z")
She’s just a very effective con artist. She and Bert find targets with deep access to money,Bank Managers,CEOs and the like. Skillfully manipulating a situation where she will be invited into the home. She delights the children,but also instills a great deal of fear, to keep them unquestioningly in line, Then deftly using hallucinogens and stage tricks she ingratiates with the children, gaining the parent’s trust, while destroying any credibility the children might have as they start to talk about magic and flying umbrellas. Lying in wait, gathering passwords, Fingerprints and personal knowledge which she passes along to Bert, until the day they execute the big job stealing millions from the accounts they now have access, when they both flee suddenly off to the wilds, where they start scouting for the next victim. ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/55 "2014-09-05T13:18:12Z")
> [@OneCentStamp](#): > > If by “The War” you mean the Spanish-American War, maybe. The film, at least, took place in 1910. Specifically, sometime between January 1st and May 6th of that year, since Mr. Banks says “[King Edward](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_VII)’s on the throne.” ---
**Author:** ![Flywheel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Flywheel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flywheel)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/56 "2014-09-05T13:26:30Z")
> [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](#): > > (certainly, me wife does.) > [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > Are we supposed to be reading this in Bert’s accent? 🙂 Or the [animated bass drum player](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRFHXMQP-QU&t=1m35s)’s? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/57 "2014-09-05T15:36:06Z")
Mary Sue I liked the books much better than the movie. But I don’t think the movie is bad… as long as you watch it with Disney Glasses on. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/58 "2014-09-05T15:48:39Z")
> [@Leaper](#): > > [God.](http://lxg.wikia.com/wiki/Mary_Poppins) Ya know, now I’d like to see Phoebe Figalilly (from Nanny and the Professor), Mary Poppins and Nanny McPhee together in a kind of Maiden, Mother and Crone configuration. ---
**Author:** ![Andy\_L](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c67d28/32.png) [@Andy\_L](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy_L)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/59 "2014-09-05T15:59:19Z")
> [@Trion](#): > > Ya know, now I’d like to see Phoebe Figalilly (from Nanny and the Professor), Mary Poppins and Nanny McPhee together in a kind of Maiden, Mother and Crone configuration. Glad to see some love for Phoebe Figalilly in this thread; I watched “Nanny and the Professor” often in my youth. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2014, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502/60 "2014-09-05T16:44:57Z")
> [@Trion](#): > > Ya know, now I’d like to see Phoebe Figalilly (from Nanny and the Professor), Mary Poppins and Nanny McPhee together in a kind of Maiden, Mother and Crone configuration. Or in the first scene of Disney’s MACBETH. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-mary-poppins/697502.md?page=4)