# So what is the best general purpose voice mail

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-the-best-general-purpose-voice-mail/465616>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [September 28, 2008, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-the-best-general-purpose-voice-mail/465616 "2008-09-28T21:07:48Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![warmgun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecccb3/32.png) [@warmgun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/warmgun)\
**Post date:** [September 28, 2008, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-the-best-general-purpose-voice-mail/465616/1 "2008-09-28T21:07:48Z")

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[**IntelSoldier** ’s thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=485214) got a lot of advice on what not to leave on your voicemail. I’m wondering what would be the best (and shortest?) all purpose message.

I never like mine. “Leave a message at the beep” sounds too, um, childish (Beep? That’s roadrunner talk). I like **LSLGuy** ’s idea but it seems too short.

So Dopers, what is the best message I can leave on my voicemail?

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**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\
**Post date:** [September 28, 2008, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-the-best-general-purpose-voice-mail/465616/2 "2008-09-28T23:18:14Z")

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“No one can answer the phone right now. Please leave a message after the tone”

“You have reached 555-5555, please leave a message”

(everybody knows to wait for the tone, you really don’t have to mention it unless you’re expecting someone who just landed on Earth to call)

Those are the most ambiguous that you could leave and still have something in your voice so people who know you are sure they got the right place, and people who don’t know you can’t ascertain anything from it.

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**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2008, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-the-best-general-purpose-voice-mail/465616/3 "2008-09-29T15:34:12Z")

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> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#):
>
> "You have reached 555-5555, please leave a message.

I second this one. It’s professional and concise.

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**Author:** ![KlondikeGeoff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3e96dc/32.png) [@KlondikeGeoff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KlondikeGeoff)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2008, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-the-best-general-purpose-voice-mail/465616/4 "2008-09-29T16:39:07Z")

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> [@TroubleAgain](#):
>
> I second this one. It’s professional and concise.

For less professional and even consiser:

“You’ve got the machine. When it beeps, talk.”

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**Author:** ![Roland\_Orzabal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)\
**Post date:** [September 29, 2008, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-is-the-best-general-purpose-voice-mail/465616/5 "2008-09-29T17:40:41Z")

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I’ve always liked my dad’s: “You know what to do.” Because, y’know, you do.

Failing that, for personal cellphone voice mail, there’s always my old standby: “Obey the lady”. (This, because I couldn’t figure out how to get rid of the damn woman who comes on after your message and says “To leave a message, press one, or wait for the tone. To page this person, press five now. To _[endless drone of options that no one on this Earth has ever used]_…BEEP!”)