# So what kind of shorts is real man supposed to wear? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 3, 2010, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773 "2010-06-03T14:48:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/1 "2010-06-03T14:48:02Z")
So over here in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=565525) thread, I made note of the fact that I was wearing jean shorts. (not jorts!!) In return I got a good bit of friendly teasing for it from my fellow Dopers. So it left me wondering: What kind of shorts are the “cool” men wearing these days? I always thought they looked presentable myself. I’m just not see’n the tacky in my blue jean shorts. 🙂 So please enlighten me. BTW: For those of you who introduced me to the world of “jorts”; I will curse you til the day I die!! It’ll take me forever to get those images out of my head!! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/2 "2010-06-03T15:16:00Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > So over here in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=565525) thread, I made note of the fact that I was wearing jean shorts. (not jorts!!) > > In return I got a good bit of friendly teasing for it from my fellow Dopers. So it left me wondering: What kind of shorts are the “cool” men wearing these days? I always thought they looked presentable myself. I’m just not see’n the tacky in my blue jean shorts. 🙂 > > So please enlighten me. > > BTW: For those of you who introduced me to the world of “jorts”; I will curse you til the day I die!! It’ll take me forever to get those images out of my head!! 😃 Cotton in a basic weave like twill in a neutral color. Linen would be fine. Length should be touching the top of the knee when standing. Mid knee or bottom of the knee is ok if you’re not quite sure you are a real man. Anything longer are more like culottes or man capris and look awful but a lot of men don’t realize it. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/3 "2010-06-03T15:23:06Z")
Real men don’t wear shorts. We wear pants. Edit: And we drink beer while we do it. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/4 "2010-06-03T15:23:42Z")
Real men don’t wear shorts unless engaged in sporting activity, preferably a manly one. ---
**Author:** ![HepToTheJive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7bcc69/32.png) [@HepToTheJive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HepToTheJive)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/5 "2010-06-03T15:26:11Z")
Shorts = Unmanly ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/6 "2010-06-03T15:30:13Z")
IMHO, real men do not request fashion advice. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/7 "2010-06-03T15:31:22Z")
I am making a modification to my post in light of **DCnDC** ’s contribution. It is forgivable to wear shorts if engaged in a manly sport. Soccer does NOT count. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/8 "2010-06-03T15:33:48Z")
[These.](http://www.duluthtrading.com/store/clothes-workwear/mens/shorts-for-men/shorts-for-men.aspx) You’re still going to look silly, though. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/9 "2010-06-03T15:41:49Z")
I find acceptable shorts at Eddie Bauer, Banana Republic (the irony!), Patagonia, Columbia and Hang Ten. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/10 "2010-06-03T15:41:52Z")
I’m wearing a pair of camo cargo shorts. They were woven from old Soviet camo nets used in Afghanistan and given to me by a DELTA operative I met in a bar in Vegas after I beat him best 2 out of 3 at Russian Roulette (as well as the regular kind). I asked him why he was carrying around a gay-ass pair of shorts. He told me that they were actually long pants but the bottoms got all torn up by a IED explosion and he had to cut them off. I mostly wear them to Bar-B-Qs, monster truck races and any other events that involve beer, guns, engines, women in bikinis or burning meat. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/11 "2010-06-03T15:53:55Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > So over here in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=565525) thread, I made note of the fact that I was wearing jean shorts. (not jorts!!) First, jean shorts are jorts. Second they went out of style for men in about 1995. Stick to some plain front khaki shorts or cargo shorts. No pleats and no denim. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/12 "2010-06-03T16:11:12Z")
Meh. I wear jean shorts. They’re not tight and short, though, which I thought was a requirement for jorts. I also wear regular cotton, cargo shorts, and nylon. Seriously, real men don’t ask such questions. ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/13 "2010-06-03T16:11:12Z")
Cargo shorts. As many pockets as possible. All the better to conceal your smokes, whisky flask, handgun, and copious amounts of condoms. Living in Florida, men who wear pants year round in 98 degree heat with 90 percent humidity just look out of place. And you’re just asking for a scorching case of monkey-ass. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/14 "2010-06-03T16:22:45Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I’m wearing a pair of camo cargo shorts. They were woven from old Soviet camo nets used in Afghanistan and given to me by a DELTA operative I met in a bar in Vegas after I beat him best 2 out of 3 at Russian Roulette (as well as the regular kind). I asked him why he was carrying around a gay-ass pair of shorts. He told me that they were actually long pants but the bottoms got all torn up by a IED explosion and he had to cut them off. > > I mostly wear them to Bar-B-Qs, monster truck races and any other events that involve beer, guns, engines, women in bikinis or burning meat. Pantywaist. Whatever you do, don’t wear cargo shorts unless you want to look like you’re 17. Also, don’t wear jean shorts, unless you also still have a mullet. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/15 "2010-06-03T16:27:29Z")
I thought denim shorts were an acceptable _substitute_ for a mullet. I wear cargo shorts all the time. Flip-flops, too! It’s Florida. Screw your rules. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/16 "2010-06-03T16:29:57Z")
One more for cargo shorts. Denim shorts look stupid on everyone, unless you’re a female with nice legs, and they’re short. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/17 "2010-06-03T16:31:50Z")
I favor plaid bermudas. Cargo shorts look silly with a black socks and wingtips. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/18 "2010-06-03T16:31:59Z")
Those of you men that shrug and say “meh, I’ll wear what I want”- yes, that is your right. However, we _will_ be pointing and laughing, and we _will_ be posting your picture on websites so that the rest of the world can join in. Know that. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/19 "2010-06-03T16:33:48Z")
I’m good looking, so it’s okay. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/20 "2010-06-03T16:34:54Z")
_Real_ men don’t follow styles. They create them. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773.md?page=2)