# So what kind of shorts is real man supposed to wear? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 3, 2010, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773 "2010-06-03T14:48:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/21 "2010-06-03T16:39:16Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > _Real_ men don’t follow styles. They create them. Precisely! When I think of real men, I think of fashion trend setters. ---
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/22 "2010-06-03T16:42:35Z")
This straight girl is looking for real men to go back to jogging shorts. I miss your legs, guys! **sob** ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/23 "2010-06-03T16:48:55Z")
Kilts. Shorts should be given up the same day you give up velvet jackets, peter pan collars and the nursery. ---
**Author:** ![rayman5321](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@rayman5321](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayman5321)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/24 "2010-06-03T16:56:51Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > One more for cargo shorts. Denim shorts look stupid on everyone, unless you’re a female with nice legs, and they’re short. What MOL said. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/25 "2010-06-03T16:59:46Z")
Once the weather turns nice, I wear [Ex Offcio Amphi shorts](http://www.exofficio.com/product_details.aspx?item_cd=1030-5002&key=3ba9ba80-bdff-462e-9bd6-0276e89c4594) almost every day. ---
**Author:** ![Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_Loves_Co)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/26 "2010-06-03T17:04:21Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > One more for cargo shorts. Denim shorts look stupid on everyone, unless you’re a female with nice legs, and they’re short. huh - I thought women were supposed to look better with LONG legs! ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/27 "2010-06-03T17:08:01Z")
If you’re under the age of 25 (or if you’ve managed to keep an attitude like Matthew McConaughey), you should be wearing [these](http://www.west49.com/products/guys/boardshorts-shorts/?&showFeatures=0&SKEY=c9ecb8). ---
**Author:** ![batsto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b2d939/32.png) [@batsto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/batsto)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/28 "2010-06-03T17:13:40Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > One more for cargo shorts. Denim shorts look stupid on everyone, unless you’re a female with nice legs, and they’re short. According to the movie ‘Superbad’, “No one has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'Nam”. Can any of the cargo short boosters here attest to the veracity of that? ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/29 "2010-06-03T17:13:54Z")
I wear what my wife tells me to. She’s the only person whose opinion I care about, shorts-wise. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/30 "2010-06-03T17:25:19Z")
> [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](#): > > huh - I thought women were supposed to look better with LONG legs! _shakes fist_ > [@batsto](#): > > According to the movie ‘Superbad’, “No one has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'Nam”. Can any of the cargo short boosters here attest to the veracity of that? Are you going to listen to some silly movie you saw about teenaged losers, or are you going to listen to me, a representative of the internets? ---
**Author:** ![Shark\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Shark\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shark_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/31 "2010-06-03T17:31:20Z")
> [@batsto](#): > > According to the movie ‘Superbad’, “No one has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'Nam”. Can any of the cargo short boosters here attest to the veracity of that? This statement is false. And messy. I wear cargo shorts in the summer because I keep my cell phone in my pocket and not on a holster, and their baggy nature accommodates that quite nicely. Not meaning to hijack this thread, but who here holsters their phone? That could answer some questions about the jorts/pants/cargo shorts preference. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/32 "2010-06-03T17:33:59Z")
> [@flodnak](#): > > This straight girl is looking for real men to go back to jogging shorts. I miss your legs, guys! **sob** I’m with you! There’s a reason my interest in NBA games has waned since the [Larry Bird](http://www.memoram.com/old_LarryBird.jpg) days. The collective disdain for shorts on men confounds me. I don’t mind at all when the weather turns warm and the UPS and FedEx drivers who deliver at work switch to shorts. There are places and occasions where I find shorts, even denim ones, on grown men perfectly acceptable. Some of my inlaws host a barbecue every summer. Most of the men wear shorts. None of them look ridiculous or out of place. I do agree that too tight and too long are both detractors. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/33 "2010-06-03T17:34:49Z")
Holstering your mobile phone is the ultimate way to drive people away from your penis. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/34 "2010-06-03T17:34:56Z")
The only people who still holster their phone are the same people who still wear jean shorts. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/35 "2010-06-03T17:50:33Z")
Holstered phone + jorts + mullett FTW!!! [http://30.media.tumblr.com/8SSCHLfDSq2u5er3Xah17Igfo1\_500.jpg](http://30.media.tumblr.com/8SSCHLfDSq2u5er3Xah17Igfo1_500.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/36 "2010-06-03T17:54:50Z")
> [@Manduck](#): > > Holstered phone + jorts + mullett FTW!!! [Tumblr: Image](http://30.media.tumblr.com/8SSCHLfDSq2u5er3Xah17Igfo1_500.jpg) That guy has a PhD in quantum mechanics. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/37 "2010-06-03T18:00:16Z")
> [@Manduck](#): > > Holstered phone + jorts + mullett FTW!!! [Tumblr: Image](http://30.media.tumblr.com/8SSCHLfDSq2u5er3Xah17Igfo1_500.jpg) That is quite possibly the worst haircut in the history of mankind. And that includes that photo of the Mullet Family. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/38 "2010-06-03T18:04:26Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Real men don’t wear shorts. We wear pants. > > Edit: And we drink beer while we do it. Pfft. Real men don’t wear _pants_. That’s just silly. It’s too freakin’ hot to wear pants. Shorts just make sense. Big, baggy denim shorts with huge pockets, preferably. ---
**Author:** ![Tragically\_Dip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@Tragically\_Dip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tragically_Dip)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/39 "2010-06-03T18:10:27Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Real men don’t wear shorts. We wear pants. > > Edit: And we drink beer while we do it. Women wear pants. Us men wear britches. Just ask my grandpa. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2010, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773/40 "2010-06-03T18:16:47Z")
A man wears trousers, but a dog pants. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-what-kind-of-shorts-is-real-man-supposed-to-wear/541773.md?page=3)