# So what's happening now that gays can serve openly in the US military? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 9, 2012, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898 "2012-01-09T06:33:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/21 "2012-01-09T23:28:59Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Can those who were discharged under the old policy petition for reinstatement or something? My 2 cents: they knowingly violated a term of their enlistment and were separated. Whether that term was later repealed for whatever reason doesn’t change that fact. I think they’d have, at best, a chance equal to anyone else seeking enlistment depending on the nature of their initial discharge. ---
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/22 "2012-01-09T23:37:06Z")
> [@t-bonham@scc.net](#): > > The culture among enlisted military seems to be generally tolerant/accepting of gay & lesbian fellow service members. Similar to the public at large, basically. > > The intolerance culture rises as you rise in rank into officers (also rising in age). the officer corps is much less accepting of gays & lesbians. The same thing is true in the general public (older people are less accepting), but that trend is more severe in military officers. Do you have any particular cite for either of these? From my own personal observation, officer/enlisted views on homosexuality tend to be exactly the opposite: officers tend to be more open to homosexuals, and enlisted guys are overwhelmingly homophobic. Neither is as open as you’d expect from an average civilian of the same age. My experiences are of the Army, and Combat Arms in particular, which probably exaggerate the effect. But I doubt that the more conservative nature of the military is confined to Combat Arms. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/23 "2012-01-09T23:52:25Z")
It’s worth noting that while DOMA has been repealed there’s almost no recognition or acknowledgment given to the partners of LGB servicemembers. They can’t get any of the benefits normally given to military spouses. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/24 "2012-01-09T23:55:26Z")
I was in the Navy Reserves (1996-2002) and there were indeed a few gay/lesbian people that everyone knew about but I certainly don’t recall anyone raising a ruckus about it. It just wasn’t talked about, at least never in my presence. Certainly there must have been people who objected but nothing came of it. There were also people who cheated on their spouses during ATs and the guy who wore Mormon garments under his uniform and that was all well-known too but again, not really a big deal. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Feldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lord_feldon/32/341_2.png) [@Lord\_Feldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Feldon)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/25 "2012-01-10T00:03:48Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > My 2 cents: they knowingly violated a term of their enlistment and were separated. But that wasn’t always true. Some of the victims of legally-mandated sexual harassment were separated without ever actually _doing_ anything to provoke it. Investigations into sexual orientation were actually mandated by “Don’t Ask” Don’t Tell in certain circumstances, and separations could occur without the servicemember ever actually revealing his or her attractions. ---
**Author:** ![Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d9b06d/32.png) [@Boozahol\_Squid\_P.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boozahol_Squid_P.I)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/26 "2012-01-10T00:07:12Z")
> [@alphaboi867](#): > > It’s worth noting that while DOMA has been repealed there’s almost no recognition or acknowledgment given to the partners of LGB servicemembers. They can’t get any of the benefits normally given to military spouses. DOMA hasn’t been repealed. DADT has been. Until DOMA’s been repealed, same-sex partners will get the exact same benefits other unmarried partners get: none. ---
**Author:** ![SharkB8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/977dab/32.png) [@SharkB8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SharkB8)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/27 "2012-01-10T00:15:08Z")
> [@Patch](#): > > But has there been any news, even in the military press, on how many have come out? Given the conservatives attitude towards not lifting DADT, I’d have expected more negative press, but is the absence of news really just an indicator that it really was one big non-event? The bigots I know are still bigots. We (USCG) had mandatory training after the repeal letting people know what will not be tolerated. You still can’t train people to be tolerant of people’s differences. I hear gay and lesbian slurs dropped left and right and I’m in the Reserve. I still think the environment doesn’t quite yet foster comfort in “coming out.” I only knew/know one lesbian Coastie and she was out before the repeal. Her Facebook page said she was interested I’m women and she would talk about women she would date. I was shocked by her guts, since she still could be discharged for talking about it at the time. ---
**Author:** ![VOW](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/vow/32/3043_2.png) [@VOW](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VOW)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 2:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/28 "2012-01-10T02:44:30Z")
I understood that couples who married legally in states where gay marriage has been enacted were going to apply for dependent status. ~VOW ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/29 "2012-01-10T03:08:03Z")
When the Drill Instructor screams … > [@](#): > > You got a crush on me? Do you want to fuck me in the ass private? You want to smoke my pole? I can feel you eyeballing my crotch and wishing you had my cock in your mouth, because that’s what little momma’s boys, and limp wristed faggots who can’t march in straight line like real Marines want to do. DO YOU WANT TO FUCK ME IN THE ASS PRIVATE? They can now answer “Sir! Yes Sir!” ---
**Author:** ![aceplace57](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aceplace57/32/3500_2.png) [@aceplace57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aceplace57)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/30 "2012-01-10T03:11:06Z")
If the ship is a rocking don’t come knocking. 😃 No question that there will be some hook ups on ships. There’s no way to stop it. Heck they’ve had a few female sailors come back preggo. Now anyone can hookup if they want. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/31 "2012-01-10T03:18:44Z")
Wild gay orgies every night. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/32 "2012-01-10T03:20:24Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > I understood that couples who married legally in states where gay marriage has been enacted were going to apply for dependent status. I am pretty sure that they aren’t eligible for that. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/33 "2012-01-10T03:21:26Z")
> [@VOW](#): > > I understood that couples who married legally in states where gay marriage has been enacted were going to apply for dependent status. > ~VOW Unless SCOTUS overturns DOMA, they don’t have a leg to stand on. They are not married in the eyes of the federal government. > [@mlees](#): > > What do you mean? Enlisted folk are more likely to be conservative, religious, southern and/or poor than your average American. ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/34 "2012-01-10T03:54:56Z")
My husband’s experience (joined Army last Nov, before DADT was repealed) has been that, although there are a lot of homophobic comments, openly gay soldiers weren’t harassed or bothered (even when DADT was active). There’s also a lot of homosocial bonding and same-sex semi-sexual contact done in a teasing manner. For example, my husband had a guy run up to him in the showers and start smacking him in his thigh with his dick, and his buddies would sometimes grope him when he was talking on his webcam to me. I know two openly gay men in the military and both haven’t had any problems. One kept his orientation private, the other was always open about it. I imagine the attitude changes depending on the unit and job as well. For example, my experience has been that medical troops tend to be fairly open minded compared to infantry guys. Everyone I’ve meet in the Airforce has been very laid back and non-judgmental, while the Marines (who were most opposed to DADT) I’ve encountered have been very homophobic/conservative. The military is so huge though, it’s very hard to categorize it neatly. My husband’s experience has been very different from my local friends’ husband’s experiences. ---
**Author:** ![Cubsfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Cubsfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cubsfan)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/35 "2012-01-10T04:07:31Z")
USAF officer here. Total non event. The people around me who were gay before are still gay. No one within 1000 yards of me even batted an eye on repeal day. This is far less surprising to those of us actually in the military than it is to the media and old crusty politicians. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/36 "2012-01-10T04:37:32Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > Unless SCOTUS overturns DOMA, they don’t have a leg to stand on. They are not married in the eyes of the federal government. It could also be overturned legislatively. (And I could win the lottery) ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/37 "2012-01-10T05:20:08Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > If the ship is a rocking don’t come knocking. 😃 > > No question that there will be some hook ups on ships. There’s no way to stop it. Heck they’ve had a few female sailors come back preggo. Now anyone can hookup if they want. A few:dubious::dubious: I can’t think of a carrier group that went out that didn’t have at least 1 pregnancy per cruise when they came back and have to go on shore duty [or decide to get out of the navy entirely] - this was back in the late 80s [Norfolk Va] i can also remember when there was at least one ship nicknamed “The Love Boat” ---
**Author:** ![toofs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/38 "2012-01-10T06:25:08Z")
Non-event. The lesbian in my unit (Navy) was already out. We all met her girlfriend at command functions. The guy who we all knew was gay is still gay and still a great guy. The jokes are still the same, the camaraderie hasn’t changed, our trust in each other remains intact. ---
**Author:** ![SmartAlecCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/67e7ee/32.png) [@SmartAlecCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmartAlecCat)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/39 "2012-01-10T12:29:48Z")
> [@kimera](#): > > I know two openly gay men in the military and both haven’t had any problems. One kept his orientation private, the other was always open about it. How exactly does the openly gay man keep his orientation private? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898/40 "2012-01-10T12:29:54Z")
Almost OT… I had (or more correctly have) a bet on the board I punched out of.\* I bet that before the end of 2011, there would be a gay marriage in a military chapel. While the time has run out, I would appreciate any news of a gay wedding in a (US) military chapel. \*To be clear, I ran off rather than be banned. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-happening-now-that-gays-can-serve-openly-in-the-us-military/608898.md?page=3)