# So what's your porno name? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 14, 2002, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840 "2002-08-14T13:14:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![welby1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@welby1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby1)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/1 "2002-08-14T13:14:00Z")
When my dog died I was reminded of the time I won a contest on the radio. The idea: Take your first pet’s name. Add to it your mothers maiden name. You now have an on-screen porno name that any red-blooded American can be proud of. If this has been done before, please forgive, I did a quick search and came up with too many results to track down. So what’s you’re porno name, Dopers? Mine is Smurf Wild. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/2 "2002-08-14T13:23:47Z")
Well, I don’t have a dog, and I don’t post my mother’s maiden name because, well, it’s used as an identity check for many financial things. (My given name, however, is OK.) However, the version of this that I heard is: take your middle name and the street you grew up on. That would make me: Jack Harding. Yeah, I think it works. However, my favorite “should have been a porno star” name is the baseball player (from way back) Johnny Dickshot. ---
**Author:** ![brandiwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@brandiwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brandiwine)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/3 "2002-08-14T13:36:51Z")
With this particular formula, I think i may just win the blue ribbon for most laughable. (Imagine how my poor mom felt growing up) My betta fish’s names are Fat Ass & Icosolese. My moms maiden name is Glasscock. So this is me: **Fat Ass Glasscock** or \*\*Icosolese Glasscock Somehow being a girl, that just doesn’t seem to fit me, but maybe with a strap on, a little glue on hair, and a voice changer, I could finally kick ron jeremy to the curb. With my formula (Pets Name & Street Name) I’d be **Fat Ass Gothic** or **Isocolese Gothic** ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/4 "2002-08-14T14:11:18Z")
It has been done before—many times—but we forgive you, as it’s still a fun game. My name is Tiki Kates; in the other variation (pet’s name + childhood street name), I’m Tiki Greentree (very Bond Girl!). I invented—I am proud to say!—the **Drag-Queen Name Generator** : your favorite flower + your favorite island resort (I am Daisy Barbados). ---
**Author:** ![blinx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@blinx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blinx)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/5 "2002-08-14T14:13:53Z")
Pet name + Mothers Maiden name == **Lady Olsen** With me being male and all that would have to be one seriously disturbed porno. Having grown up on a street named “Karlstoftevænget” I think I’ll just stay out of the porn business completely. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/6 "2002-08-14T18:53:49Z")
Scratch Hardy ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/7 "2002-08-14T19:52:33Z")
Pet name + Mother’s maiden name = Button Knee Middle Name + Street I grew up on = Elizabeth McKinley Neither’s very porny-sounding. What about if I switched them? Button McKinley maybe? …Maybe not. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/8 "2002-08-14T19:53:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*I invented—I am proud to say!—the **Drag-Queen Name Generator** : your favorite flower + your favorite island resort (I am Daisy Barbados). \*\* That would make me Tulip Cayman. I like it! Happy ---
**Author:** ![Pixellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e495f1/32.png) [@Pixellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixellent)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/9 "2002-08-14T20:08:24Z")
If I were female, my porno name would have to be **Anya Knees**. ---
**Author:** ![cichlidiot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f9b8f/32.png) [@cichlidiot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cichlidiot)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/10 "2002-08-14T22:16:57Z")
1st version - Pickles Miller 2nd version - Marie Greydale Not very lewd, but the Pickles cracks me up. Drag Queen - Columbine Bimini I dunno, sounds like I should be singing on Hee Haw, a-pickin’ and a-grinnin’ with Roy Clark. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/11 "2002-08-14T22:20:10Z")
I’ll do the pet + street name combo, as I too am wary of giving out my mom’s maiden name. I’m Daisy Tanglewood. Not bad, no? MrWhatsit, on the other hand, is Mittens 90th. Clearly one of us is destined for porn star fame, and the other just…isn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/12 "2002-08-14T22:29:19Z")
Dandelion Chick Jasmine Keys ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/13 "2002-08-14T22:29:41Z")
pet + Street = TAFFY STAPLES. That sounds vaguely gross. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/14 "2002-08-14T23:48:52Z")
I’m Peter North, perhaps you’ve seen my penis? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/15 "2002-08-14T23:56:56Z")
Tippy Gale. ---
**Author:** ![\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/7cd45c/32.png) [@\_Deep\_F\_ied](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Deep_F_ied)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/16 "2002-08-15T00:02:48Z")
pet + street= Shadow Cochrane (almost sounds like cockring!) 🙂 flower + resort= Poppy Tahoe (kind of the grandpa of schlongs, maybe…) ---
**Author:** ![Beagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Beagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beagle)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/17 "2002-08-15T00:03:20Z")
Dexter Lantana I modified the criterion somewhat: dog + street I grew up on. Drag queen name: Rose Dominica ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Kahuna\_Burger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Big\_Kahuna\_Burger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Kahuna_Burger)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/18 "2002-08-15T01:56:02Z")
Rocky Baline Jonathan Steele I grew up thinking it was pet and street name, making me Rocky Steele, air conditioner repairman. ---
**Author:** ![Minor\_Irritant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e495f1/32.png) [@Minor\_Irritant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minor_Irritant)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/19 "2002-08-15T02:03:45Z")
pet + street = Patches Ellwood flower + island = Trillium Iceland I’m sticking to my day job. ---
**Author:** ![kirk280980](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c77e96/32.png) [@kirk280980](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kirk280980)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840/20 "2002-08-15T06:59:19Z")
First pet + street name = Muggle-Wump Foxwood! I don’t care what anyone says, NO director is going to hire someone with that name to star in their porno. Could you imagine the credits rolling at the end? At least my drag name comes out better: Chrysanthemum Keys. Nice. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-porno-name/123840.md?page=2)