# So, what's your thread-killing percentage? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 16, 2005, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799 "2005-03-16T12:59:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![meanoldman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@meanoldman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meanoldman)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/21 "2005-03-16T18:37:28Z")
Tempted…sorely tempted to echo **Emony Dax** 😃 **Emony** , you are NOT alone. Guess it takes time. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/22 "2005-03-16T18:59:41Z")
> [@Scott\_plaid](#): > > For those of you not in “the Know”, IHKATAM = a fourteen page monstrosity named > [I haven’t killed a thread all month](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=250465&highlight=ihkatam). Only thanks to the heroics of Cajun Man was it finally laid low. Wow…just, wow. I just went back and reread the entire thread, and even though I was around for the entire dealie, I gotta say: _Man_, that was surreal. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/23 "2005-03-16T19:14:01Z")
> [@Rufus Xavier](#): > > I know I’ve posted this before, but it’s still relevant: > > If you say his name three times, he appears and closes your thread. **Cajun Man**! \ ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/24 "2005-03-16T19:50:30Z")
> [@Lydia Deetz](#): > > Knowing that I should be wary, > still I summon something scary. > Ghostly haunting I turn loose… > Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, > Betelgeuse! ::Lalalalalalalalalalallla:: ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2005, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/25 "2005-03-16T23:41:34Z")
Wow. It seems like just yesterday **Hal** was watching the TV miniseries _10.5_. How our world has changed in oh so many ways since that age of innocence. {Sigh} ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/26 "2005-03-17T01:17:57Z")
Thread-killing is more an art than a science. It’s also one of those things that you do better when you stop trying. In my experience, the factors that act against threadicide are the following: 1. You post regularly; some dimwit who fancies him- or herself as your cyber pal will always pop by to say Hi 2. You post garbage; people here are not as bright as they think they are, and will enthusiastically engage you in an argument that you never made 3. You write “How YOU doin’?” 4. You are not American and you criticise America, especially gun laws 5. You have a dig at the American Constitution, especially when it transpires that you haven’t actually read it 6. You write a parody or even something that is vaguely non-congruous, i.e. contains a smidgeon of wit or irony; someone will get offended by it, and a surprisingly large number of people won’t get it 7. You use the word irony; someone will be by to tell you you don’t know what it means So far, the only sure-fire way of killing a thread that I have discovered is to mention the _Eagles_. But even that is now in danger of losing its status, as it could fall into my final category: 1. You write something that becomes a Doper saying/law/rule/witticism (you know them all - I’m not going to mention them) ---
**Author:** ![Governor\_Quinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@Governor\_Quinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Governor_Quinn)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/27 "2005-03-17T02:49:23Z")
Out of the last 200 threads I’ve posted in (the list goes back to November), nine died after I posted. Rate: 4.5%. ---
**Author:** ![jweb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@jweb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jweb)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/28 "2005-03-17T02:57:22Z")
I’ve killed 7 of the last 25 threads in which I have posted, which gives me a 28% kill rate. Kneel Before Zod! ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/29 "2005-03-17T05:57:15Z")
> [@Scott\_plaid](#): > > AskNott, I now you said to ask not, but please tell use your thread killing presentage. Inquring minds what to know. > > I have alread said, mine is 16.2. I calculated it by: > > 1.Seeing how many threads I have posted in. > > 2.Dividing that number by 100. > > 3.Seeing how many thread I was the last poster in, not counting the ones I particpated in, and had people quote me for support of their issues. I then multiplied the number I got by the number from step 2. A. You clearly enjoy statistics (or, as we Hoosiers say, sadistics) more than I do. B. My steam-powered calculator doesn’t work on this shift. C. Our national treasure, **OpalCat,** ,knows that lists have at least three items. I should be able to think of another, but I can’t. I’m sorry, dearest Opal. I’m so ashamed. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/30 "2005-03-17T06:54:28Z")
> [@vetbridge](#): > > I’m not really a thread-killer. It’s more like I post and people ignore me most of the time. And then another (better-known perhaps) poster will come along and say the same thing, and get a response. You know, I notice that same thing happening to me! It’s so wonderful to know there’s another person out there I can relate to on this. 😉 Anyway, I seem to be on a roll this month, killing only 3 out of 94 threads, for a kill rate of 3.1% ---
**Author:** ![Danalan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/76d3ee/32.png) [@Danalan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danalan)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/31 "2005-03-17T07:56:31Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > Wow…just, wow. I just went back and reread the entire thread, and even though I was around for the entire dealie, I gotta say: _Man_, that was surreal. 🙂 Around for the entire dealie? _Around for the entire dealie?_ You and **harmless** were that thread! I might have started it, but you guys totally owned it. You personally resurrected it after 4 days of inactivity, early on in the game. My favorite page was page 7. Favorite post: **shibboleth** ’s huge ramble on page 12(?). ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/32 "2005-03-17T11:44:19Z")
Wow. I am in awe of **jweb**! You are the John Wayne Gacy of threadkill! ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/33 "2005-03-17T13:20:41Z")
> [@Danalan](#): > > Around for the entire dealie? > > _Around for the entire dealie?_ > > You and **harmless** were that thread! I might have started it, but you guys totally owned it. You personally resurrected it after 4 days of inactivity, early on in the game. > > My favorite page was page 7. Favorite post: **shibboleth** ’s huge ramble on page 12(?). My favorite was when **Hal** posted “Like we ever sleep!” and his wife **kittenlm** simulposted “Well, it’s time for bed. Good night, everyone.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/34 "2005-03-17T18:08:19Z")
Ah…good ol’ IHKATAM. I would re-read it, but that would be like meeting my past self in the present future and that would just cause problems. Last time the thread just…well, exploded. I guess you might say I killed it twice. 😃 And my kill percentage is a tight 89%. [size-1]You’ll just have to take my word unless _you_ want to do all the math to prove me wrong 😉 [/size] ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/35 "2005-03-17T18:14:06Z")
**Lando Griffin**!! _He’s_ my arch nemisis!! 😛 Now I remember! :smack: He must be avoiding me. :dubious: ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/36 "2005-03-17T18:18:30Z")
Hey, yeah, whatever became of **Lando**? Now that we’re on it, where did **torie** go? Did her minion ants finally turn on her and force her to work in their underground sugar mines? ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/37 "2005-03-17T18:22:37Z")
Never mind…guess I should’ve searched _before_ I asked the question. **Lando** isn’t posting much, but was still here as of last month. **torie** still actively posts, we just haven’t been very active in the same threads, so I haven’t noticed her. No word on the minion ants. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/38 "2005-03-17T18:27:29Z")
I miss my **torie** too…she has breast you can go _brrrrssssskkkkki_! in. ☹ 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2005, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/39 "2005-03-17T21:09:59Z")
> [@Hal Briston](#): > > No word on the minion ants. I thought they ended up smeared on the bottom of your shoe? ---
**Author:** ![jweb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/71c47a/32.png) [@jweb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jweb)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2005, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799/40 "2005-03-18T04:21:26Z")
> [@An Arky](#): > > Wow. I am in awe of **jweb**! You are the John Wayne Gacy of threadkill! Hell, when I went to bed last night, I was sure I’d managed to kill off this thread, seeing as how it had been like 2.5 hours since my post without any replies. I was almost dissapointed to see that the thread was still alive when I logged on tonight. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-whats-your-thread-killing-percentage/294799.md?page=3)