# So, which part of my life do I give up to avoid being raped? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 18, 2005, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339 "2005-01-18T09:27:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/201 "2005-01-20T16:22:10Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > How does the second half of that sentence necessarily follow the first half? I think your use of the word ‘thus’ is misplaced because it presupposes that the sole reason Sally was raped was that she went to a frat party, or that one _expects_ a woman at a frat party will be raped. > > It would be far less inflammatory and you could eliminate the logical fallacy if you phrase this as ‘Sally went to a frat party and at some time during that party, she was raped.’ Yeah, that would have been even better. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/202 "2005-01-20T16:32:17Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > to the guys here– **tdn** , **Finn** , etc–I want to thank you for sticking with this. This is a difficult convo for all concerned. Just for the reccord, I do not consider all men rapists or potential rapists. Just wanted to clear that up. Oh, I know, and I thank you for repeating it. My beef is not with what people think, it’s for using a phrase that implies the opposite. That, and for the assertion (by only one person who is not you) that any man who objects to that phrase must be doing so because of a deep personal flaw. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/203 "2005-01-20T16:33:29Z")
> [@roger thornhill](#): > > At least you didn’t call me Dick! Worse (depending on some people’s opinions), I confused you with **Bricker**. \No **Bricker** challenge in ages! What’s up with that?\ **tdn** , as always (when you’re not pissed off) you explained your point very well. And I understand why it would be insulting. My irritation was due to the fact that I was being accused of saying something I never said. And, why are you swallowing blood? Dentist? > [@eleanorigby](#): > > Well, guess what? I am very glad I am not in your department–and what would that be? You have made any number of sweeping statements above–I would like to see some of those cites that you say you don’t need. You get to be judge and jury while slinging verbal abuse–say, now there’s uni level teaching for ya! Most impressive. I hope you get tenure. Give it up. Cites are the one thing she demands (and then rejects as unacceptable out of hand) but is never willing to provide. She teaches at a university! That should be enough for anyone! Because, y’know, that qualifies her to pontificate on any subject she chooses. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/204 "2005-01-20T16:43:02Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > **tdn** , as always (when you’re not pissed off) you explained your point very well. Thanks. I have my lucid moment. > [@](#): > > My irritation was due to the fact that I was being accused of saying something I never said. Seems we have a problem that everyone on one side of the fence is considered to be a single person. **Chotii** says something, automatically you’ve said it too. In that light I’d just like to say that while I agree with a select few points that **catsix** says, I am not, in fact, her. > [@](#): > > And, why are you swallowing blood? Dentist? Yep. Osama bin Dentist. He pulled out a tooth and replaced it with pain. Terrorist in a fucking smock, that guy. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/205 "2005-01-20T17:05:13Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > I’ve found that a woman who vehemently disagrees with feminist theory is often treated far worse by those who are feminists than men who disagree with it. This appears to be yet another case in point of that theory. Nice cross. Need some help climbing up? ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/206 "2005-01-20T19:01:42Z")
> [@SallyCan'tDance](#): > > Quote: > Originally Posted by margin > The attitude seems to be thus: > > Women need to protect themselves. > > Well, women already do that. > > But rapes keep happening! > > ## Women obviously aren’t protecting themselves well enough. …Men who commit sexual assault aren’t like rain or thunder a woman can simply carry an umbrella against. They’re sentient beings; they make choices. Those choices should be held against them, not against women. > > Sorta reminds me of something Indira Ghandi said in response to calls for Indian women in one of the major cities, in which there was a series of violent sexual assaults on random women after dark, to undergo curfew in order to be at less risk of being raped. She said something to the effect that it should be the men of the city that should be under a curfew; they’re the ones doing the raping, why should women automatically have their lives restricted? > Sorta reminds me of something Indira Ghandi said in response to calls for Indian women in one of the major cities, in which there was a series of violent sexual assaults on random women after dark, to undergo curfew in order to be at less risk of being raped. She said something to the effect that it should be the **men** of the city that should be under a curfew; they’re the ones doing the raping, why should women automatically have their lives restricted? Could we please end the strawman now? This is feeding on itself. **Margin** posts something about “the attitude SEEMS to be…”, and then Sally responds with some anecdote that happened God knows how long ago in _another country_. You all still seem to be laboring under the misconception that there is some sort of prevailing attitude that women are reponsible for being raped. Yet when I ask for even ONE cite of anybody on this board actually saying that, I get nothing. Just a bunch of “They _seem_ to be saying…” nonsense. Look, this is very simple. We all take measures to prevent crime. We lock our doors, we put The Club on our steering wheels, we glance over our shoulders before we use the ATM, etc. That doesn’t mean we are _responsible_ if a crime is committed against us. It just means we live in the real, imperfect world where people _do_ commit crimes. So let’s please stop with the conjecture and outdated anecdotes that are feeding the martyr complex you people seem to have. ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/207 "2005-01-20T19:30:21Z")
**Finn** , there is a huge difference between: > [@FinnAgain](#): > > There may very well be both societal and organic variables, maybe operating in conjunction or seperately… [snip] the causes of rape are not solely societal. And this (which is what I was responding to): > [@FinnAgain](#): > > There may indeed be no way to eliminate rape from the population, just like you can’t eliminate Trisomy 23. Mutations will always pop up, no matter what you do. Of course the causes of rape aren’t solely societal. A man can be born with excess testosterone (too much gas) or an underdeveloped frontal lobe (not enough brakes) due to genes, child abuse, or Fetal Alcohol Symptom, or even both at the same time. He may have a defective [amygdalae](http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=39203) and is unable to interpret non-verbal cues and social signals. However, I think that the percentage of men whose genes absolutely doom them to be rapists is very, very small. Since we can’t do anything about the genetic side, we should be focusing on the societal conditions that we can control. The worst thing to do is just throw up our hands and say, “mutations happen, there is nothing we can do.” ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/208 "2005-01-20T19:39:08Z")
> [@SusanStoHelit](#): > > Since we can’t do anything about the genetic side, we should be focusing on the societal conditions that we can control. The worst thing to do is just throw up our hands and say, “mutations happen, there is nothing we can do.” Perhaps I wasn’t totally clear (happens in text), but my point is not that we shouldn’t try to do anything, but that we may never be able to totally eliminate rape. I’m all for societal modification to a certain degree… I just know that, from my own experience of growing up and going to undergrad on the northeast coast, these societal changes are already made. Every dorm I’ve ever been in has had leaflets and posters and such detailing what date rape is, why it’s bad, how to protect yourself, etc… I’m honestly not sure what else they could possibly do beside masssive psychological profiling in order to identify deviant personalities… I’ve been in health classes in highschool and multiculturalist/feminist classes in college (which were required of all students). “No means no” is a phrase that has become part of the public vernacular. Telivision shows as long ago as, what, the early 90’s had episodes dealing with rape. If all this isn’t enough societal engineering, I don’t know what would be. Men already know rape is wrong, that it is vile, that a man who rapes women is scum. We agree on this, I think, almost (no pun intended) to a man. So, to sum up: We should try to prevent rape as much as possible. We should also realize that it might be impossible to reduce rape to zero. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/209 "2005-01-20T19:41:39Z")
> [@](#): > > **Maureen** said: > Nice cross. Need some help climbing up? Please, it’d take something a lot more formidable than a feminist to think I’m a martyr. > [@](#): > > **SusanStoHelit** said: > Since we can’t do anything about the genetic side, we should be focusing on the societal conditions that we can control. How do you propose we do that? Do you believe that society today encourages rape? ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/210 "2005-01-20T19:43:47Z")
P.S. Thanks for the encouragement from the ‘other side’ (I think we agree on most points anyways). Sometimes when I see red, it’s hard for me to be all that rational, and the way conversations were crossing and responses being answered, I misjudged who was supporting what, exactly. My apologies. And, as a gesture of truce ~grins~ I will point out that the word ‘feminazi’ is a Godwinization if I’ve ever seen one. Do I disagree, in the strongest possible terms with feminism? You betcha. But that’s because I’m a secular humanist, and I believe that everybody has the right to be an individual, and to be treated equal due to their humanity, and nothing else. I believe that, ultimately, dividing the world up into ‘camps’ of victims only keeps us seperate and obfuscates that the essential issue is our humanity, and nothing else. And, I must admit, as a man, refrences to ‘the patriarchy’ or the meme ‘men rape women’ have turned me off to mainstream feminism. But such is life, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/211 "2005-01-20T20:28:22Z")
So. Now that we have the labelling out of the way, and given that we all agree that using common sense, taking precautions (getting a good lock, being aware of your surroundings, knowing how to defend yourself, etc) is clearly not doing the job of preventing sexual assault, how then do we address this part of **Try As I Might…'s** post?: > [@](#): > > The vast majority of rapes that I dealt with did NOT involve strangers. It involved friends, family members, husbands, lovers, and neighbors that knew each other. When someone is dealing with aquaintance-rape cases, the claim that the victim “placed herself in a bad situation” often arises. The problem I have with this position is that it places the responsibility on the victim. The focus is misplaced. In almost every case I dealt with, the perpetrator manipulated the events in order to make sure the victim was alone, vulnerable, and otherwise not in a position to defend herself or seek help. Can you look back and second guess what the victim could have done to avoid it? Many people do. I guarantee the victim does every single day for the rest of her life. I believe the focus should not be on what the victim “should have done to avoid the situation,” but on what the perpetrator did to set up the situation. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/212 "2005-01-20T20:28:54Z")
> [@](#): > > **Finn Again** said: > And, as a gesture of truce ~grins~ I will point out that the word ‘feminazi’ is a Godwinization if I’ve ever seen one. Had I never met a feminist nor read a feminist work that advocated the genocide of nearly all men on the planet, or the creation of camps into which a small amount of men would be put (I’ve heard that men should make up no more than 5% of the population on the Ms. forums, for example.) I might not apply such a term. But I have heard those things, and read those things, such as Valerie Solanas’s _S.C.U.M. Manifesto_, and statements about how fathers are unecessary and just a lot of thing about the world really not needing men except as carefully contained sperm producers. That is why I use that word. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/213 "2005-01-20T20:39:27Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > Had I never met a feminist nor read a feminist work that advocated(snip) Keep in mind that the most vocal and most outrageous segment of society is usually a tiny minority of that society, and often shunned by that same society. The people you speak of are the Fred Phelpses, Timothy McVeighs, and Osama bin Ladens of feminism. As unfair as it is for them to paint all men with one bigotted brush, it’s equally unfair to paint all feminists the same way. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/214 "2005-01-20T20:44:34Z")
> [@](#): > > **Try As I Might** said and **Maureen** quoted: > The problem I have with this position is that it places the responsibility on the victim. I don’t think it does place responsibility on the victim. I think that it acknowledges that there were actions taken by the victim that involved being in a situation where an attack occurred, but I don’t think that means it’s the victim’s fault. Sometimes those situations are avoidable, and sometimes they are not. You can avoid sleeping over while drunk off your ass on the couch of someone who is just a bit above ‘acquaintance’ on the scale, but maybe you didn’t and he and a couple of buddies found you there and attacked you. I mean, that is what happened to me. Do I think that it was my fault? Of course not. I do think that it’s 100% true that it wouldn’t have happened had I made a different choice that evening or considered the risks differently. Acknowledging that fact, that if I hadn’t been there, I couldn’t have been their target, doesn’t mean I feel responsible for what happened or that I was responsible for what happened. It’s simply a fact of the matter that an unfortunate miscalculation of trust resulted in a very bad experience. It’s also why I believe that although it is possible to significantly lower the risk of being raped by making informed decisions and avoding unnecessarily risky situations, it’s impossible to ever eliminate that risk entirely. I’d much rather accept the fact that it is impossible to avoid all risk and to eliminate all bad acts and then try to go about increasing my odds of never experiencing one of those things than to believe that there is some way to make the world perfectly safe. I don’t know if you believe it’s possible to completely and totally irradicate rape from human beings, but if you do, how do you think that can be accomplished? > [@](#): > > I guarantee the victim does every single day for the rest of her life. I don’t. I consider it like a coin toss that didn’t go my way. I made a decision, and after that decision (not because of), certain things happened. Yeah, there were a million different ways I _could have_ gone through that night. I could have decided not to go to that party. (Incidentally, it was not a frat party) I could have decided to go home much earlier than I did. I could have decided to call a cab. I could have decided to sleep in the spare bedroom and lock the door rather than say I was just ‘too tired’ to leave the couch I’d fallen asleep on while the party still raged. But I did none of those things, and no amount of ‘coulda shoulda woulda’ now will ever change that. Why second guess it now? It happened, it wasn’t something I could ever have forseen unless I had the impressive powers of Miss Cleo, and it’s _over_. Sometimes shitty things happen to people who don’t deserve them. Sometimes there’s no way to stop that. Does that suck? Of course it does. It just happens to be a reality of life that I don’t think can be avoided, because there is no way to make anyone’s life 100% safe. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/215 "2005-01-20T20:46:22Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > So. Now that we have the labelling out of the way, and given that we all agree that using common sense, taking precautions (getting a good lock, being aware of your surroundings, knowing how to defend yourself, etc) is clearly not doing the job of preventing sexual assault, how then do we address this part of **Try As I Might…'s** post?: If we can solve such a problem on this board, then the world would owe us one major debt of gratitude. But let’s remember that others have tried and failed, so let’s keep our expectations realistic. Be that as it may, it might help to consider that not all _aquaintence_ rapes are considered equal, either. Drunk girl passed out at a party is probably quite different than, say, ongoing spousal rape coupled with verbal abuse. Can we maybe list as many common scenarios as we can? ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/216 "2005-01-20T20:49:33Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > So. Now that we have the labelling out of the way, and given that we all agree that using common sense, taking precautions (getting a good lock, being aware of your surroundings, knowing how to defend yourself, etc) is clearly not doing the job of preventing sexual assault, how then do we address this part of **Try As I Might…'s** post?: Seems to me we _have_ done a lot. Aren’t there now “rape shield” laws, and isn’t the victim’s prior sexual history now inadmissible in court unless it is directly relevant to the case? Aren’t rape sentences pretty severe at this point? What else do you want to do? Deny men the right to defend themselves in court? Restrict innocent men from travelling freely? Make the jail term for rape _greater_ than the jail term for murder? If victims are suffering from a false sense of guilt, it seems that educating victims would be in order. But that’s already being done, isn’t it? Should we stop giving advice to women, but rather _encourage_ them to put themselves in risky situations? That doesn’t seem like a good call either. I guess I don’t understand what solution you all are proposing. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/217 "2005-01-20T20:51:09Z")
**catsix** > [@](#): > > Information technology. I’m a computer engineer. I deal in science, not in feelings. Stick to computers. Really. You have painted the posters here with some very broad brushes. No one here has advocated putting men in camps etc–where do these leaps come from? > [@](#): > > So accusing me of being a misogynist is fine because I disagree with feminist misinformation and the pervasiveness of it, and because I have called the classification of men as people who either are rapists of feeling guilt that they might be a rapist as ‘misandrist’? No, reread my post. I stated that you used misogynistic terms (like femiazi, bitch etc) all the while calling us misandrists. You have no talent for dialogue. Do you really speak in such terms as these in everyday conversation? Why? Do you truly feel the need to express yourself in constant expletives? Why? Again, I have no beef with your stance. I agree with you that many research studies are flawed. You keep beating this dead horse that the women here must be misandrists b/c one poster stated that “men are rapists”. It has been refuted time and time again as the focus of this discussion. Why the need to harp on it? Wny the need to spew venom? Maybe it has to do with _feelings_ ? Your argument seems to come down to “I know misandry when I see it and al the female posters are here, and I will be persecuted by the feminazi’s for saying it–see?” What kind of argument is that? And **Maureen** --I agree. She needs to get off the cross, we need the wood. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/218 "2005-01-20T20:55:06Z")
> [@](#): > > **tdn** said: > and often shunned by that same society. Unfortunately there isn’t that much shunning going on. I don’t hear the millions of feminists who belong to NOW making clear that they abhor such ideas. I don’t hear any women’s studies departments decrying Valerie Solanas or her ideas. I didn’t see the Ms. Magazine representative employed as a forum moderator standing up to say that statements about men being unnecessary in society, or advocating that they make up no more than 5% of the total population were not tolerated by the Ms. Magazine organization. The Reader would most _certainly_ not let members get away with advocating that a particular race or gender should be kept under strict population control so that they amount to no more than 5% of the population at any time, because to sit idly by while such statements were made on their stage would be to implicitly agree to them. Where’s the shunning of Solanas’s so-called utopia? Why don’t we see a single feminist organization that refuses to let such hate filled and inflammatory things be said on their stages? > [@](#): > > **blowero** said: > I guess I don’t understand what solution you all are proposing. What I don’t understand is whether they think that it’s possible to completely eliminate rape from human existence. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/219 "2005-01-20T20:55:11Z")
What I’m asking, **blowero** , is what else can be done to reduce the number of rapes that is not being done already? I didn’t propose a solution at all. I asked for ideas. For someone who’s telling everyone to quit stereotyping and reading things into posts, you’re doing a pretty good job of it. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2005, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/220 "2005-01-20T20:59:37Z")
> [@blowero](#): > > I guess I don’t understand what solution you all are proposing. Neither do we. That’s what we’re here to discuss. Once we have the solution, then discussion’s over, right? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339.md?page=12)