# So, which part of my life do I give up to avoid being raped? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 18, 2005, 9:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339 "2005-01-18T09:27:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![margin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@margin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/margin)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/301 "2005-02-05T06:41:38Z")
No, actually. I was asking why it’s okay to restrict womens’ rights, but not mens’, when it’s men committing this crime. This is not the same as Catsix’s accusation. Then again, catsix sees ‘feminist’ and loses what little mind she has. Ah, I feel like I’m home already. ---
**Author:** ![margin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@margin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/margin)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/302 "2005-02-05T06:45:11Z")
Here’s catsix’s response to save everyone time: Margin you feminazi man-hating paranoid bitch. Wants to lock men up etc., etc., You said MEN not some men. I’ve learned to just ignore her, but even she says some shit that’s too much to be tolerated. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 7:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/303 "2005-02-05T07:47:10Z")
> [@margin](#): > > No, actually. I was asking why it’s okay to restrict womens’ rights, but not mens’, when it’s men committing this crime. Because we’ve been over this a dozen times It’s not ‘men’ who’re commiting the crime, it’s ‘some but not all men’. So at best you’re using rhetoric that’s false to facts, at worst you’re being intentionally inflamatory. And in case you missed the answer, it’s not right to restrict anybody’s life by law or decree. In other words. [Pwn3d](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v294/finnagain/Pwn3d.jpg) (sorry, I couldn’t resist) ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/304 "2005-02-05T08:36:30Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > Yeah it sucks that it happened to her, but to say that anyone who disagrees with you is a know-nothing who should shut their fucking mouth is also wrong. > > _That_ is what I responded to out of **if6was9** ’s post. **if6was9** and **Maureen** are grieving, and you still have to argue with them. Do you have any heart at all? (Yes, I know you’re going to point out that **if6was9** was the one who said “shut your fucking mouth” and that you said “it sucks that it happened to her”. But **if6was9** was venting. You posted in cold blood.) Guys, that’s terrible and I am so sorry to hear it. ---
**Author:** ![margin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/65b543/32.png) [@margin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/margin)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/305 "2005-02-05T10:45:35Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Because we’ve been over this a dozen times It’s not ‘men’ who’re commiting the crime, it’s ‘some but not all men’. So at best you’re using rhetoric that’s false to facts, at worst you’re being intentionally inflamatory. And in case you missed the answer, it’s not right to restrict anybody’s life by law or decree. > > In other words. > [Pwn3d](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v294/finnagain/Pwn3d.jpg) > (sorry, I couldn’t resist) Sweetie, until you apologize for each and every ad hominem attack on me—including all the uses of the word ‘bitch’ which sure doesn’t imply anything about you at all----I could give a fuck what you think, say or whatever. Plus your little smiley didn’t work, either. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/306 "2005-02-05T11:00:09Z")
I’m sorry **Maureen** , **if6was9**. I’m really, really sorry for your friend. I only read this thread because there was a rape sentence handed down the other week in Ireland. The woman was walking home alone, after a few drinks, and was strangled and beaten before she was raped. She was lucky to survive. The policeman who first saw her said it was the worst thing he had seen in 22 years on the force. The rapist got 4 years, with a 6 month concurrent sentence for assault. That’s right, you beat and strangle someone, almost killing them, and you get 6 months, served as part of your 4 year sentence…he’ll be out in 2 and a half years. The woman got a lecture from the judge on how she was partly to blame for irresponsibly walking home alone. ---
**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/307 "2005-02-05T15:04:19Z")
> [@irishgirl](#): > > The woman got a lecture from the judge on how she was partly to blame for irresponsibly walking home alone. That judge should be fired out of a cannon. Or forced to live with **catsix** , I’m not sure which would be worse. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/308 "2005-02-05T15:12:46Z")
> [@](#): > > **Rilchaim** said: > if6was9 and Maureen are grieving, and you still have to argue with them. Do you have any heart at all? Posted in the pit that anyone who disagrees is a know-nothing who has never been there and should shut their fucking mouth. Pardon me for finding **that** to be a hard pill to swallow considering that **I have been raped.** No, you know what, don’t pardon me. Lashing out at everyone who disagrees with **Maureen** ’s opinion because their friend got raped was way over the top. > [@](#): > > **KellyM** said: > That judge should be fired out of a cannon. Or forced to live with catsix, I’m not sure which would be worse. Well neither one of those involve being around a psychotic who thinks that wanting to lose weight is a sympton of self-hatred that should be corrected with psychiatric help but wanting to cut off parts of your body is perfectly normal and sane. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/309 "2005-02-05T15:29:55Z")
> [@margin](#): > > Sweetie, until you apologize for each and every ad hominem attack on me—including all the uses of the word ‘bitch’ which sure doesn’t imply anything about you at all----I could give a fuck what you think, say or whatever. Plus your little smiley didn’t work, either. Do you even know what an ad hominem _is?_ My guess is, no, you have no clue. In case you’re wondering, it’s not an insult, and never once have I said that you’re wrong because you’re a bitch. I’ve proven you wrong, and also pointed out that you’re also being a bitch. Like now. And no, calling you a bitch really doesn’t imply anything about me other than that I don’t tollerate the same sort of assholeish behavior in men or women, try again. I’ve proven you wrong several times now, and anybody can look at the intellectual and logical substance of my arguments and know that it’s both valid and sound, while you’re a sloppy and inflamatory rhetorician, at best. It’s good to know that you’re too much of a coward to debate, and you just want to spew your sexist rhetoric. Good show, you can know that when you leave the world you’ll leave it not one jot better than it is now. You must be so proud. ---
**Author:** ![laigle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ce7236/32.png) [@laigle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/laigle)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/310 "2005-02-05T15:52:40Z")
Still haven’t seen a cite for this alleged friend being raped by two coworkers. But hey, a necropost of that manner coming from someone who has spent the rest of the thread making up statistics to underscore her belief that all men are violent sexual deviants should be taken at face value, right? Especially when it’s backed up by childish prattle from someone using the alleged event to justify the position that anyone who disagrees with her is “less than human.” :rolleyes: At best this is something she saw on the evening news, and I wouldn’t put it past her for the whole thing to be fictional. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/311 "2005-02-05T15:57:41Z")
For what it’s worth, I believe them. And yes, my sympathy goes out to **Maureen** and **if6was9** , and especially their friend. But by the same token, it’s not right to come into a debate that’s already in progress and claim that because you’ve had a personal connection to the topic at hand, all logic and proof is now thrown out the window, and anybody who disgrees with you is less-than-human. That’s what I, personally, find the most disturbing. That if you can’t win on intellectual or rational grounds, if the statistics and the reality don’t support your claims, make it personal and emotional and accuse anybody who disagrees of not being human. ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/312 "2005-02-05T16:01:12Z")
> [@](#): > > **FinnAgain** said: > But by the same token, it’s not right to come into a debate that’s already in progress and claim that because you’ve had a personal connection to the topic at hand, all logic and proof is now thrown out the window, and anybody who disgrees with you is less-than-human. Especially when there’s someone on the other side of the debate who has been closer to the situation than **Maureen** and **if6was9**. To say that everyone who disagrees with you is completely ignorant of the subject is a mistake, and more so when you assume that nobody on the other side could possibly ever have been raped, or known someone who was. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/313 "2005-02-05T16:06:13Z")
Agreed. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/314 "2005-02-05T17:17:39Z")
> [@laigle](#): > > Still haven’t seen a cite for this alleged friend being raped by two coworkers. But hey, a necropost of that manner coming from someone who has spent the rest of the thread making up statistics to underscore her belief that all men are violent sexual deviants should be taken at face value, right? Especially when it’s backed up by childish prattle from someone using the alleged event to justify the position that anyone who disagrees with her is “less than human.” > > :rolleyes: > > At best this is something she saw on the evening news, and I wouldn’t put it past her for the whole thing to be fictional. Oh, fuck you hard with a broom handle you fucking cunt. You want a cite for something that happened 48 hours ago because I would make up something like this? Fuck you hard. If you ever EVER have to deal with something this horrid, you will know exactly why it is reprehensible even to suggest anyone would do that. I wish I was making it up. I never fucking called all men violent sexual deviants, and spent three fucking days saying so over and over. How fucking dare you? You want a cite? Email me, bitch, it’s listed. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/315 "2005-02-05T17:30:42Z")
**laigle** , I think you’re confusing **Maureen** with **Margin**. **Maureen** I’m sorry for you and yours, but perhaps posting to this thread when you’re quite so angry/emotionally involved isn’t a good idea? Maybe give it a day or two? ~escapes to let the two of you beat on each other~ ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/316 "2005-02-05T17:38:39Z")
_sigh_… **Finn** , you’re right. I absolutely should not post to this while I’m still grieving/angry/ready to hurt someone. I resurrected this (not that old) thread mainly because what happened is such a prime example of what we were discussing. Also because it’s amazing how a semi-intellectual discussion about a serious social problem gets brought into such sharp relief when it’s so close to home. Utah has the [second highest rate of rape](http://www.mazeministry.com/mormonism/statistics/rape.htm) in the country. I just found that out. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/317 "2005-02-05T17:45:21Z")
Strength and courage. Mint tea or cigarettes always help me focus my mind somewhat, but I don’t know if such minor calming rituals would help you. I hope that you can find a way to express your rage and grief while still healing and helping others to heal. What a meshuganah world we live in. Best wishes. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2005, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/318 "2005-02-05T22:50:52Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > Well neither one of those involve being around a psychotic who thinks that wanting to lose weight is a sympton of self-hatred that should be corrected with psychiatric help but wanting to cut off parts of your body is perfectly normal and sane. Oh my god. You did not say what I think you just said. Did you? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/319 "2005-02-06T03:14:45Z")
Yep, she did. Jesus Christ. That’s just…fuck, that’s nastier than anything I ever saw at the now defunct Ms. boards. (BTW, I think that’s why she thinks **Margin** is a man-hating bra-burner-since the latter used to post there). ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2005, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339/320 "2005-02-06T04:03:19Z")
**Maureen** --I just saw this thread pop up again. I am so sorry for your friend; I hope she is recovering from her physical wounds. I hope she gets the help she needs for all her wounds. I am dismayed at the nastiness in this thread. Surely we are all wanting to see rape decreased, if not eradicated? Surely we all agree that this is a crime that goes un-reported to some extent and is also lightly punished in some events? Surely no-one here is defending rape? Oh, never mind…if we can’t even discuss it, I see little to no hope for impacting on it’s incidence. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/so-which-part-of-my-life-do-i-give-up-to-avoid-being-raped/285339.md?page=17)